A self-procalimed “sorority princess” finds unorthodox benefits to her Sonicare. In Daily Intel’s latest installment of their Sex Diary series, “the sorority girl with breast implants,” who hails from our very own Morningside Heights, shares her salacious stories. We (along with numerous tipsters) have deduced from the quips about Health Services’ unavailability and monogamy as a “social construct” that this Carrie Bradshaw-wannabe is an authentic Columbian. Bwog has indulged our erotic appetite in the past, but this titillating tale features African E, a “non-Ivy transgression,” and masturbating while fantasizing about a completed thesis. Moral: never share toothbrushes, and cap it before you tap it.
Here’s a teaser to get you started:
3 PM: Office hours with my favorite professor. Turn around as I’m taking my coat off to give him a full look at my ass in favorite jeggings.
You might not want to read this at work…
@tompkins Columbia doesn’t have the frat SAE, has to be fake
@Def. a male author... Only a guy would think a girl can orgasm so easily from vaginal sex.
@Anonymous as opposed to anal sex which causes instant orgasm
@arparp Sorry but some girls actually do achieve orgasm with relative ease through vaginal intercourse. Other girls have learned how to get themselves off through rhythmic exertion while riding a guy. Not every girl is the same.
@so who’s got the name of this bitch?
@person I’ve never read a sex column that wasn’t awful. What’s more self-indulgent than a little self-indulgence, if you know what I mean? Telling the world about it.
@If I had HIS imagination then maybe my credit card bill wouldn’t be so high
@Anonymous fake and gay
@heh good point
@oh shoot that’s meant to be a response to the comment above me
@Anonymous No Columbian would say “Student Health” rather than “Health Services.” Bwog, you really fell for this?
@Anonymous And furthermore, why is she interviewing people for “academic research” when her thesis is due in a week?
@Anonymous Also, who the he’ll at Columbia wears jeggings? So fake
@more like Barnard “Fraternity affiliation makes up for my non-Ivy transgression…”
now this article makes more sense
@obvoiusly fake not that it really matters.
“Skype boyfriend to tell him about this. He looks mildly alarmed. Suggests we do it on a pile of money instead.”
@don The entire experience is not believable.
But the individual acts were. Thats more or less how hard I pound my own girlfriend. Once she actually passed out for like 30 seconds after the orgasm I gave her. :P
@Anonymous That’s nothing, my girlfriend was in a coma for three days after the first time i got through with her ;)
@Oh yeah? Well MY girlfriend awoke into a Hegelian absolute consciousness after the orgasm I gave her. It was pretty phenomenal.
@'15 She drove him back to the hotel, but was still dried up from alcohol? That sounds like a DUI to me…
@Anonymous More like an BUI: Bullshitting Under the Influence.
@Anonymous fake and probably written by a dude
@Anonymous I agree it’s definitely photoshopped.
@Anonymous Yea I see it to. the shadows from the imagery are all wrong. definitely shopped.
@bored intern why arent more girls like this? sigh.
on behalf of all guys, we promise we won’t judge nor ridicule salaciousness because honestly, the concept of a slut is far outdated and completely obsolete. Female psyche has not caught up with the invention of the condom and the pill yet. There was a time when the construct of a slut was necessary, since sex obviously can lead to pregnancy. Women wanted to ensure that her mate wasn’t a player and would help raise the child along with her. But now, the burden of rearing a child as a single mother is completely avoidable.
Therefore, the behavioral mechanisms innate to the female brain which condemn acts of pleasure are no longer necessary, evolutionarily speaking.. In short, contraception should obviate the notion of lasciviousness since casual sex can easily be a win-win for both parties.
Have sex because it feels good and stop complicating matters. Sex isn’t that big a deal anyway.
women – stop worrying about being viewed as a slut. if your friends don’t want pleasure, then fine, that’s their prerogative and they are missing out.
men – stop “putting the pussy on the pedestal.” Remember that sex always seems better in theory than it actually is in practice. And stop trying so hard – have some self-respect.
— Bored intern who inadvertently gets paid to write comments on bwog
@Anonymous sex feels best with someone you love. the evolution of casual sex may be ruining our culture
@Fun facts Condoms don’t prevent herpes, HPV (the vaccine leaves 10-30% of wart-causing strains uncovered), or molluscum. All of which can be asymptomatic and still be transmitted. Not to be sex-negative, but treating the possibility of pregnancy as the sole cause of “behavioral mechanisms innate to the female brain” (sidenote: really? reeeeeeeally?) which might lead women to limit the number of their partners.
Besides the fact that this article features absolutely no condom use. Gah!
@asdf why is there a delay when i post comments on bwog and the comments appearing on the page
@Anonymous that’s salash
@this isn’t real, right?
@Anonymous …let the bitchhunt begin.
@Oof I feel tired just reading this. I also feel daunted by the sheer bullshit.
@ws everyone knows you don’t have to reschedule an std test when ghap has walk in hours
@Anonymous Dumbass, GHAP only tests for HIV. God knows what else she’s picked up with her “It’s okay not to use condoms, just don’t jizz in me” rule.
@vom hoping that this is fake for my own sanity.
seriously. why does this exist?
@because she wants a book deal?
@wait what vom? i thought it was pretty hot