Sep

10

Top of Their Class: Facebook Heroes of 2015 — Nnamdi Nwaezeapu

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Results of the p90x


Every war produces heroes, and this summer’s battle over delayed housing assignments that broke out on the Facebook page for the Class of 2015 is no exception. Bwog is profiling some the most famous and infamous personalities involved that social media shitstorm. In Top of Their Class, you can read about some of the people you met on the Internet, on the Internet.

Name: Nnamdi Nwaezeapu

Famous For: Sympathies towards the housing lottery, workout advice, existential revelation

Significant Posts:

“i couldn’t stand go go at first. but it grows on you. like your hair.” – July 30th at 7:22 p.m.

“i feel so sorry for all of the wallach doubles kids. but it’s so fun to watch them scramble for transfers lol.” – July 16th at 8:24 p.m.

“p90x FTW!” – August 9 at 9:23 a.m.

“i just got my wallet stolen right out of my back pocket by a crackhead! any crazy s**t happen to you guys before?” – May 19th at 7:38 p.m.

“my wallach single is going to be where all the action is. all the time.” – July 31st at 4:40 p.m.

“there is a bomb ass mcdonalds near my house.” – July 19 at 5:47pm

Is your Wallach single where the action is?

“Yeah, definitely, and the suite is pretty decked out. We’ve got an Xbox, the 14-inch cable T.V., food, chefs, and everyone is general happy. I knew that’s how it was going to be, and my room is pretty nice too.”

What is your ideal workout?

“I follow the p90x to the letter. Besides that, my favorite workout is just doing pull-ups. Pull-ups make me happy. Push-ups make me happy too. They are the best exercises ever”

Has anyone approached you solely because of your Facebook presence?

“I’ll just be somewhere and people will see me and know who I am. People don’t even have to get to know me they will just be like ‘Yeah, I know you from Facebook’.”

Explain the crackhead taking your wallet.

“I was in a newly gentrified area of D.C., and a guy just sprinted up to me, snatched it, and ran. My ankle was injured so I couldn’t run after him. Now, I always keep wallet in front pocket.”

What do you have to say to the people living in Wallach Doubles?

“Take things for what they are and make the best of it. It is not known at the party spot, but if you put yourself in the right mindset to make Wallach the spot, you will enjoy it a lot more…or you can transfer.”

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10 Comments

  1. Dubious and Curious and __ious  

    Bwog, why are you highlighting people for doing nothing but sitting on their computers and perpetuating personalities that may not exist

  2. CC'16 Potential

    One day, I hope to be as pathetic as these heroes.

  3. Anonymous

    Are people really not realizing that this is basicaly the Ali G of Columbia?! I love it.

  4. CC'13  

    if you're a dc native this is the best thing

  5. people  

    you guys should get to know him. he's actually a cool person in real life.

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