Oct

11

See Just How Barnard Her Life Is

Written by

Think your life is Barnard? Well, there’s no knowing for sure until you cross reference it against the itemized guide below, inspired by the Twitter account and brought to life by Cartoon Architect and Sensational Satirist Julia Stern:

MLIB Toon

The REAL eight ways of knowing.

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17 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Nine ways, Bwog. Wtf.

  2. Anonymous

    Eight or nine, on purpose or by dumbass mistake, this is just not funny. The my life is Barnard twitter account kicks ass and should clear all ties with this lame excuse for a stab at the nard.

    • MyLifeIsBarnard  

      This is basically MyLifeIsLiberalArts. Some Barnard-specific edits for you, Ms. Stern:

      1. Women & Gender Studies readings. How is this not obvious?!
      2. The tea is Yogi brand -- the kind with the motivational sayings on the back. "I am bold. I am beautiful. I am bountiful." --from my menstruation tea (IT EXISTS)
      3. In addition to the apple, a pile of cookies also stolen from the gluten-free corner of Hewitt. You only took the apple because you felt guilty about eating the cookies, which you only took to spite those whiny bitches with a gluten "sensitivity," whatever that means.
      4. The bun is more of a Columbia girl thing. A true Barnardian would blow dry and style her hair in case she wanders out to Morton Williams and runs into the guy she slept with that one time freshman year. If only he could see how hot she looked, THEN HE WOULD WANT A RELATIONSHIP.
      5. Wtf is a study headband. I don't even. Is this to keep your carefully coiffed bangs out of your eyes? Why don't you know how to seductively toss your hair?!
      6. Wtf is Barnard-specific about a water bottle. Unless it is filled with either PBR or Grey Goose. Seriously, get your shit together.
      7. Fitzgerald, Hemingway, and Hurston? More like Woolf, Woolf, and Woolf.
      8. The flower has obviously died by now...if you actually took care of it, your life is too Barnard.
      9. THE NINTH WAY OF KNOWING IS KNOWING HOW TO PLEASE UR MAN, thus add a stack of desperately thumbed-through Cosmos.

      Thank you and good day. --MLIBC

  3. Anonymous  

    and im part of this schl fuck me

  4. Anonymous  

    lazy Friday-ing on Tuesday afternoon. classic Barnard.

  5. Hahahahahaahahaha  

    Barnard

  6. Anonymous  

    JULIA STERN IS A ROCKSTAR

  7. That Girl from Barnard  

    I LOVE THIS! HEHEHEHEHE

  8. Question  

    How is any of this Barnard specific? A shit ton of books from pretentious authors, tea in a free mug, and an apple are hardly stereotypes of anyone.

  9. Anonymous  

    dude do some research, it's 9 not 8

  10. Anonymous  

    Hey guys. I just wanted to say that I really didn't mean to insult anyone by making this. I do enjoy it here at Barnard. I'm a big fan of MLIBC and I just wanted to joke around about my situation. For those of you who said this could be MORE Barnard, I certainly agree. Women's studies definitely trumps art history. Lastly, I'm indeed aware there's 9 ways, not 8 (it took me quite a while to figure out how to get around quantitative reasoning!).

    • Anonymous

      Oh god. No one is insulted. People here, if anything, are asking for more insult. If you want to be even minimally associated at all with the comedic world of the internet, grow a pair, develop a depressingly dry sense of wit and sarcasm, and be bold. Don't make a lame cartoon and then softly apologize, for nothing. Jesus...

  11. You go girl!  

    Julia this is adorable. I think it is refreshing to get away from the dry cynicism that dominates our campus.

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