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Paying fees kind of sucks. Drinking free alcohol is awesome. Lerner Pub, an event put on by student council, reconciles the two by using part of the elusively distributed Student Life fees to provide free beer to seniors several times each semester.

Because Bwog is a Liberal Artist and we like to show off our hard-earned podcast-learned questionably gained Frontiers knowledge, we decided that a little back-of-the-envelope calculation was very much in order. Here’s a rough estimate of the percent of student life fees you could “drink back” if you attended every Lerner pub of the year:

B-of-the-E Assumptions (based on intel from the Senior Class Council/Google)

• Lerner Pub will occur roughly 8 times this year
• Each Pub lasts 2 hours
• Seniors are entitled 1 beer per hour
• You will have that one friend who “isn’t really drinking tonight” and gives you his/her beer at least twice over the course of the semester, adding 2 beers to your total haul
• The beers served at the first Pub were Magic Hat #9 (about \$8/six-pack), Hoegaarden (about \$8/six-pack) and Budweiser (about \$6/six-pack) at wholesale prices
• Student life fees are \$698 per semester, which we’ll call \$700

Science?

• Student life fees for 8 semesters = \$700 x 8 = \$5,600
• The average cost of a six-pack of Magic Hat #9, Hoegaarden and Budweiser is about \$7.33
• The average cost of one beer at Lerner Pub is approximately \$1.22
• If you attend every Lerner Pub and drink 1 beer/hour for 2 hours, plus you count the 2 beers from your friend who isn’t feeling it, you will drink 18 free beers
• 18 beers x \$1.20 = \$21.60, aka \$22
• (\$22 in beer / \$5,600 in fees) x 100% = like .4%ish
Conclusions
• A senior can drink back like .4%ish of his/her student life fees by attending every Lerner Pub and drinking the maximum number of beers.
• Back-of-the-envelope calculations are a tested and proven method to procrastinate starting your reading, ever.
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