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Join Columbia’s Hottest Social Network

oops cut off our forehead

The new face of Courseworks

The next Mark Zuckerberg works in CUIT, and he’s created a social network exclusively for Columbia students. This isn’t your grandmother’s Courseworks, with its “graphical log-in.” This is a cutting-edge social network.

Every Columbia student now has a profile (just click on “Profile” under “My Workspace”). Here, you can list “Personal Information” (favorite TV shows, favorite quotes, links to other social networks), upload pictures, and post 140-character status updates. You can also add classmates as “connections” by searching their names—but only official Columbia names, so you’re William, not Bill—or shared interests.

Or you could take advantage of the site’s best new feature: “roster.” Roster lets you see the names of all the students in each of your classes—and you can do that now, by clicking “Next Semester.” You can also see their pictures if they’ve enabled that in Courseworks’ privacy settings–making finding your next date that much easier. (Unlike most networks, Courseworks’ default privacy settings are extremely strict: even your friends aren’t allowed to see your favorite TV shows or send you messages.)

Like all good social networks, Courseworks also has games, though there’s only one and it’s only for professors. CUIT says that course instructors can play “Facebook flash cards” (subtle, right?), which lets them view their students’ pictures and try to guess their names. It even keeps score, reminding professors just how many students never went to office hours.

Courseworks is so good that we figure it’s only a matter of time until the playboy venture capitalists come calling, whispering in CUIT’s ear that it’s not cool if the site only goes down a million times during finals. Until then, we’ll be uploading inappropriate pictures and friending everyone we know.

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21 Comments

  • Tyler Durden says:

    @Tyler Durden I heard from my source at CUIT that Columbia Admirers was contracted for CourseWorks 3.0. Including separate uploads page for nudy pics and optional webcam connectivity ;)

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous WILL POST HELICOPTER DICKS

  • haha says:

    @haha this is the work of specsucks. #lejun

  • Anonymooose says:

    @Anonymooose This makes Myspace look good.

  • Anony-miss says:

    @Anony-miss mark fuckerburger should quit while he’s ahead and stop giving head.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous The flashcard game has been around for a while

  • Whoa says:

    @Whoa That roster feature would have made my life soooo much easier in the past

    1. except says:

      @except everyone is faceless. lol. but the names are helpful.

    2. Girl says:

      @Girl That’s always been around

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous There seem to be a lot of Asian siblings in my classes

  • omigod says:

    @omigod this might have the worst search engine algorithm in human history. it actually gets LONGER as you type in a longer search string!

    and good luck finding non-WASPy names on there

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Why would one WANT to find non-WASPy names there? Is there a shortage?

      There are far more Asian and Jewish names than WASPy ones at Columbia.

      Oh, sorry, Potter…didn’t realize you were looking for Cho Chang, you naughty boy, you.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous I think omigod means if you’re searching for a connection with a non-WASPy name, it is difficult to find.

  • A says:

    @A Are we starting an argument over whether Barnard is part of Columbia, again? Why must every thread descend into this?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous No, WE’RE not. But you certainly seem to be. Is trollbook down for the day?

  • Optional says:

    @Optional Almost as bad a google+

  • Optional says:

    @Optional almost as bad as google+

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