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What the Core Should Teach

As spring internships start, we here at Bwog have realized that knowing exactly where Odysseus wentthe intricacies of a Hobbesian state of nature, and the proxies involved in fMRIs aren’t very useful in a real workplace.

With that in mind, we have compiled a list of classes the Core should teach in order to maximize our immediate efficacy in our careers.

  • Introduction to Scanning
  • Transporting Unusually Shaped Objects In Public Transportation
  • Stamps 101
  • History of Coffee-Making
  • Geometry for Holding Multiple Cups of Coffee
  • Interpreting Lunch “Hour”
  • Microsoft Excel I: How to Exit A Cell Without Breaking Everything
  • Microsoft Excel II: Everything Else
  • Principles of Elevator Small Talk
  • Advanced Tabbed Browsing
  • What to Do When No One Has Work for You to Do
  • Interns: Help or Burdens?, A Colloquium
  • Professional Wardrobe Basics: How Much Cleavage Is The Right Amount
  • Tactics of Pedestrianism in NYC
  • How to Adjust to the Real World Where No One Has Read or Cares About Anything You’ve Wasted the Last Four Years On
  • Faking an 8-Hour Workday as the “Social Media Intern”
  • Outlook: Not Just A Philosophical Concept
  • WTF is a Routing Number: Introduction to Paperwork
  • Advanced Printing Techniques: From Wi-Fi-Connected Printers to That USB Laserjet
  • The Art of Taking Lunch Orders
  •  So Your Boss Is Crazy: Advanced Workshop

A guy who did this core via Shutterstock

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15 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I think you covered the value of internships last semester. http://bwog.com/2012/11/21/lecturehop-internships-labor-rights-and-the-columbia-community/#comments

    #readbwogbetter

  • Too Late says:

    @Too Late Re: V118, The Corporate Core

    1. 118 says:

      @118 CORPORATE CORE FOREVER!

  • jim s. says:

    @jim s. fuk u for writing this. this is so dumb i hate ur guts bwog

  • Alum says:

    @Alum My workplace is an fmri research lab, so it’s pretty darn useful for some people. Different type of intro to scanning needed, though.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Surpise yourself by reading a book written by a buddy of the Core’s architect, Nicholas Murray Butler, who tried to summarize the core into one little book for the masses. Really surprise yourself when you realize it is Dale Carnegies “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I am not kidding you!

  • CC-Alum says:

    @CC-Alum Please add:
    Printer 101 – How to fix paper jams and how to refill paper / toner
    Social Finance – How to work and be productive with a massive hangover

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous “How much cleavage is the right amount”

    RAPE CULTURE!

    1. Anonymouse says:

      @Anonymouse The author of this article needs to check his privilege!

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Hey, men want to know what is the right amount of cleavage to show, too! Check your privilege!

      1. no... says:

        @no... this is not rape culture…cleavage is an art form and must be perfected in the workplace.

      2. Butt cleavage says:

        @Butt cleavage is important too!

  • CC '13 says:

    @CC '13 “How to Make Friends” (for those of you all who were raised by wolves)

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous #romulus&remusprobs

  • anon says:

    @anon “How to do taxes”

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