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Some Bastards Stole Someone’s Fish

Bwog just received an awful tip on this once-innocent Tuesday evening: a resident of John Jay has had their pet fish stolen. The abducted animal is a dark red beta fish who goes by the name of Fishy. Tipster Chelsea G, who lives on John Jay 6, appealed to Bwog for help in finding her pet; below is a screenshot of the fish and her request.

Fishy has already been meme-ified in the mass distress following his disappearance, and Chelsea has left fish food outside her door in case the despicable human beings who stole Fishy are reading this right now and haven’t thought about feeding him yet. We encourage anyone who has information on the missing underwater creature to contact tips or use hashtag “#findfishy.”

From Chelsea:

“He’s already been meme-ified! D: I’m desperately trying to study for a physics midterm, BUT I NEED HIM. He’s gotten me through midterms before…what will happen now?  WHO IN THE HELL STEALS A FISH WITHOUT TAKING THE FISHTANK?!?! There was a lid on the tank, so he couldn’t have gotten out on his own. (Though I do admit he is absolutely brilliant). There’s fish food outside my room in case the culprit hasn’t thought to purchase any yet. I just want Fishy back safe and sound.”

Seriously, guys? You couldn’t find meaning in your own sad existences so you had to steal somebody’s pet? You sick fucks.

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38 Comments

  • Nemo says:

    @Nemo well this is going to be an ordeal…

  • Chelsea says:

    @Chelsea Everyone change your statuses to #findfishy
    Help me get my fish back, please.

  • Melissa says:

    @Melissa whoever took this fish- this is NOT funny. It’s honestly mean, despicable, cruel and just WRONG on so many levels. WHO DOES THIS THIS IS NOT OKAY! ESPECIALLY during mid term season! Chelsea seriously misses Fishy and just wants her pet back to get her through this hard times. joke’s up, please just return him. HE NEEDS TO EAT! this is inhumane. like actually.

    1. Question says:

      @Question Can I really want her to get her fish back and still find your post beyond obnoxious? Like, actually.

  • for some reason says:

    @for some reason this really made me sad :(

    #findfishy

  • aww says:

    @aww I’m not the sentimental type, but this is kinda sad.

  • John jaybie says:

    @John jaybie Chealsea, I honestly hope you find your fish, but just be calm in the meantime. For someone to go into your room and only steal your fish, it has to be one of your friends playing a practical joke on you. I’m sure they’ll return Fishy.

    1. even supposing - says:

      @even supposing - that friend is a dick. you should dump them immediately.

  • concerned bc'15 says:

    @concerned bc'15 I’m not saying that your fish committed fish suicide, but have you checked the floor around his tank for his body?

    1. Chelsea says:

      @Chelsea I did!! He wasn’t there. Plus, his lid was on his tank (only has a hole in the top for food the size of an eraser head).

      1. concerned bc'15 says:

        @concerned bc'15 damn… was he sucked into a filter? maybe he ascended right into heaven, body and soul, like the Virgin Mary?

        1. Chelsea says:

          @Chelsea No filter in my beta tank. There’s no other explanation!!! He was taken from my room :(

  • Public Safety? says:

    @Public Safety? Why didn’t you contact them? This is a serious matter, your sense of peace with in this community is disrupted.

    1. Chelsea says:

      @Chelsea Immediately after I realized he was gone, I contacted both Public Safety and the Hartley Hospitality Desk to file papers regarding the incident.

      1. Uhmmm says:

        @Uhmmm But isn’t it like against the rules to have a pet fish?

  • sadlyfe says:

    @sadlyfe WHO IN THE FUCK WOULD JUST WALK INTO SOMEONE’S ROOM A STEAL A FUCKING FISH? #BITCH-ASS

  • ummmm... says:

    @ummmm... just me? http://bwog.com/2013/02/26/security-alert-be-less-friendly/
    #wasfishyfriendly #findfishy #don’tshoot

  • The Thief says:

    @The Thief I did it for the meme

  • Oh, come on says:

    @Oh, come on Am I the only one who finds it funny that the girl’s name is ChelSEA? heh.

    1. one more shitty pun says:

      @one more shitty pun looks like ChelSEA’S fish transferred out of SEAS (to NYU apparently).
      Okay, I’ll go now.

  • what a jerk says:

    @what a jerk Ok this actually makes me really sad :( ugh, people sometimes

  • I'm just says:

    @I'm just hoping for a ransom note…

  • I'm just says:

    @I'm just hoping for a ransom note

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Maybe CUCR left the ransom note in a book in the Butler stacks.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Relax, someone probably flushed him already.

  • John Wayne Gacy says:

    @John Wayne Gacy He’s all mine now.

  • John Wayne Gacy says:

    @John Wayne Gacy He’s all mine now…

  • Anonymous Thief says:

    @Anonymous Thief Chelsea Griffin, FYI it’s one of your friends that stole the fish. I’m on their floor. Just relax, the sooner they think you’ve gotten over it, the sooner the bastards will give it back to you. And no I can’t tell you who it is, but just now that “fishy” is safe and alive.

    1. Chelsea says:

      @Chelsea That would be nice, but I searched all of my close friends’ rooms. Plus, I don’t think any of my friends would do something this blatantly cruel. If on the hap chance they did, I think they should be aware that we are not friends anymore. Hw about you let them know,”WE WEREN’T FRIENDS THEN, WE AREN’T FRIENDS NOW, AND WE MOST DEFINITELY WON’T BE FRIENDS IN THE FUTURE.”

    2. stay silent says:

      @stay silent Asshole. You’re kind of a dick for not telling her who it was.

  • SEAS '13 says:

    @SEAS '13 Kids these days…

  • GuiltyAsCharged says:

    @GuiltyAsCharged the fish is dead.

    1. sirdicksalot says:

      @sirdicksalot NOOOO!!!!!
      You’re a cocktopus

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous the fish is four dollars.

  • worried says:

    @worried did she find her fish??

  • sirdicksalot says:

    @sirdicksalot guilty as charged is an ASSHOLEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

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