Name, Hometown, School: My birth name is Randolph Carr III, a name long descended from my slave-owning, colonial forefathers. However, throughout my time at Columbia, at some point or another, I have been called Malik Newton, Xavier Lee, Brother CUSH, or some combination of these names, usually began with the honorific, Brother. South Central Los Angeles, California. Columbia College.
Claim to fame: At random hours, I could be seen walking around the Upper West Side, casually strolling about, usually alone. At the most unnecessary of moments, I would ride my bike from my dorm to class in Hamilton, just because. Whenever the weather permitted, I could be seen perched on the platform at the side of the Low Library steps, overlooking Low Plaza. In other words, my claim to fame is not really doing shit.
Where are you going? I will be in the city, here and there, wherever I happen to find myself. I will work enough to pay for a ridiculously cramped apartment with several roommates and enough food to survive. I will read, incessantly and indiscriminately. Occasionally, I will be on campus to, once again, sit atop my perch on Low Steps, not doing shit. I want to stay informed and active, preparing myself for what is next to come. What is next to come? If my vision were that good I would have less injuries, more money, and I would, surely, be much, much less interesting.
If you are around in the city and you are one of the rare individuals who doesn’t find me annoying, please give me a call. I always enjoy a good conversation. And, to those friends who will be returning to Columbia in the fall, whenever you have a swipe you would like to give away, hit a brother up.
Three things you learned at Columbia:
Back in my day…
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: As a philosophy major, I have heard affirmed: I think, therefore I am. However, I’ve read a more deep reaching, vibrantly stirring affirmation: I feel, therefore I can be free.
Write a CU Admirers post to anyone or anything at Columbia: To her: you are beautiful. If only I had the courage. I would have told you the truth. I would have approached you with my head held high. If only I had the courage, dearest Alma Mater. You are beautiful, but beauty can mask some ugly things. Put down your staff. Do not seek to conquer the world for the sake of some global community. You are beautiful. Share that beauty with others in your community. Extend your open hand to those near to you. Smile more often; stress will only wear on you.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’ve had good cheese and I’ve had bad cheese. I’ve had cheese that I could have done without. I’ve had cheese that makes me feel on top of the world. I’ve had thoroughly matured cheese, ripened to perfection. I’ve been given many cheeses, of different flavors. I enjoy cheese. Moist cheese and even dry, crumbly cheese. I will rarely turn down cheese: Red Leicester, Tilsit, Caerphilly, or whatever the Cheese Shop has in store. But, when faced with an ultimatum of such dire consequences, before one could blink, I would give up cheese.
One thing to do before graduating: Rob this school blind. Check out as many books as you can read, and keep whatever you find inside. Apply for every grant whether you think you are qualified or not. Any professor who you are slightly interested in, take every spare moment they will offer you, to loot their wisdom. This school is abundant in resources, most of which it has, indeed, robbed from someone. Do not be ashamed, steal every opportunity you can get.
Any regrets? I only wish I was a better thief.