Good morning, west coasters and internationals, welcome to your first day at this fine university. We’re happy to welcome you here and hope that move-in day is…not completely unbearable? Your giddy orientation leaders will be running around in noticeable shirts to help you out and there are a ton of signs to point you kind of in the right-ish direction. Don’t be afraid to ask a million people where you’re supposed to be going–it’s better than running around in circles with a gross, wobbly blue bin. Be sure to pick up lots of free food and family swag. Don’t forget to send any pictures/overheards/funny stories to firstname.lastname@example.org throughout the day.
Here’s your lineup for the day:
Breakfast: 8-11 am, Hamilton Lawn (get on campus and walk towards 114th and Amsterdam, this is the lawn between Hamilton Hall, Wallach, Hartley, and John Jay). Free food.
Check In/Move In, 8 am-noon: Proceed to your res hall. If you don’t know where it is, look it up.
Family Luncheon, noon-2 pm, Hamilton Lawn. Free food.
Bed Bath & Beyond Excursion, noon-5 pm, meet at the 116th and Amsterdam. Busses will shuttle you to and fro, for everything you forgot.
Dinner, 6-8 pm, John Jay Dining Hall. MAKE FRIENDS. Free food.
Int’l Students Dinner, 6:30-8 pm, Roone Arledge Auditorium in Lerner Hall. MAKE FOREIGN FRIENDS. Free food.
Ice Cream Social, 8:30-9:15 pm, Lehman Lawn at Barnard. MAKE FEMALE FRIENDS. Free food.
Late Night Activities, 10 pm-midnight, John Jay Lounge (1st floor, past security), Carman Lounge (basement), and Van Am Quad (find the gazebo). We probably wouldn’t go either. But we’d love it if you did, then wrote about it, then sent it to email@example.com.
Check In, 8 am-noon, Barnard Hall Lobby.
Family Check In, 8 am-noon, in front of Barnard Hall. So your parents don’t feel left out.
Family Reception, 8-11 am, Lehman Lawn (Liz’s Place). So your parents can talk to other parents about not feeling left out. Free food.
Vendor Fair, 8 am-noon, Lehman Overhang. Avoid the trip to Bed Bath & Beyond. Also a good place to run to when your parents start trying to make introductions at the Family Reception.
Bed Bath & Beyond Excursion, 9 am-noon, meet at 116th and Claremont. Busses will shuttle you to and fro, if the Vendor Fair isn’t good enough.
Library Tours for Families, 10-11:30 am, Wollman Library. To get your family out of your hair as you unpack.
Wireless Help, 10 am-5 pm, Sulzberger Lobby and 307 Diana. If you don’t know how wifi works.
Commuter Welcome and Check In, 10 am-noon, Barnard Hall Lobby to get keys, Weber Living Room to drop off your stuff, and 118 Reid Hall to talk to people.
Lunch, 11:30 am-12:30 pm, Lehman Lawn. Free food.
President’s Welcome, 12:30-1:15 pm, LeFrak Gymnasium in Barnard Hall. Meet DSpar, the greatest woman in the entire world. And yes, she has it all.
Steering Your Student in the Right Direction, 1:15-2:15 pm, Event Oval. For parents. I mean this one is too easy to make fun of, right?
Res Life & Public Safety Q&A, 2:15-3:15 pm, Event Oval. Your parents will really dig this one.
Family Farewells, 3:30-3:45 pm. GET OUTTA HERE.
Orientation Leader Group Meetings, 3:45-5 pm. Groups 1-30 at Lehman Lawn/Walk; Groups 31-40 Lehman Awning and Dance Annex; Groups 41-75 Quad Lawn. You’ll probably do a human knot.
Dinner, 5-6:30 pm, Lehman and Quad Lawns. Free food.
Convocation, 7-8:30 pm, LeFrak Gym in Barnard Hall. You’ll want to be excited here, but you’ll probably get bored.
Ice Cream Social, 8:30-9:15 pm, Lehman Lawn. Weirdly doesn’t mention that CU students were invited. Tell us what campus celebs serve you ice cream. This is probably a good event for you to go to, write about, then send to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Commuter Night at Barnard, 9-10 pm, Weber Living Room and 118 Reid Hall. In case you’re willing to miss the last 15 minutes of the ice cream social.
Community Night, 9:30-10:30 pm, your residence hall. Meet your floormates. Indulge.
Sunny day via Bwog’s Instagram