Welcome Class of 2018! In a fit of
procrastination nostalgia, Bwog found ourselves skimming through the “Meet Our Students” sections of the Admissions website and the guidebooks sent with your acceptance letter. Contrary to, perhaps, what you might have been told about the average Columbia student, we don’t all take seven classes, run four clubs, cure cancer in our spare time, and manage to eat three square meals and sleep eight hours a night. Momma Bwog decided that it’d be in your best interest to provide a slightly more typical daily schedule. So we asked our staff. First up, regular contributor and frequent snacker Elizabeth Self, CC ’17, brings you her Thursdays.
7:15 am: Alarm goes off.
7:35 am: Realize I fell back asleep, bound out of bed and hurry to get ready for the day.
8:05 am: Leave dorm, eating express breakfast while walking to the public school where I work in Harlem. Cross campus and Morningside Park. Leaves!
8:30 am: Tutor for America Reads, trying to promote literacy and help my poor teacher manage her third-grade zoo.
9:30 am: Pry self away from adorable kids and take off at a sprint back for campus. Take 265 stairs up to cross the park again and get to Dodge. Needed to exercise in order to make it to exercising on time, obvz.
10:00 am: I jump in the pool with the 4 or so other people in my lane for Intermediate Swimming, i.e. slowly drowning as fast as you can.
11:00 am: Shower off and sprint to room for backpack, trying to shield inevitably wet hair from the wind. Fail.
11:25 am: Leave room with backpack for Hamilton. After seeing hideous crowd waiting for the elevator, start up stairs for 7th floor.
11:40 am: Arrive at Conversational French class panting and a little dizzy. Eat snack for the entire class, stopping occasionally to argue with other students, though not sure what exactly anyone is saying. Grateful for slight cold, I sound more French.
1:00 pm: Bolt out of class to a friend’s dorm and immediately run to lunch in John Jay. Swear to eat something healthy, and end up starting with a bowl of Lucky Charms, anyway. But I got that salad in! (and probably cake, too)
2:00 pm: Go up to my friend’s dorm again to pretend to do homework. Actually watch videos and talk about stupid shit.
2:35 pm: Realize I HAVE CLASS AT 2:40 and take off running for Pupin
2:45 pm: Arrive for Introduction to Linguistics, realize the teacher hasn’t even shown up yet, sit down happy.
2:46 pm: Notice that everyone else is turning in homework and groan as you have to turn in the bullshit you sort of made up from your notes last night. Spend rest of class laughing at John McWhorter’s terrible jokes and blatant stalls.
4:00 pm: Reunite with friends, swearing to do homework this time. Instead sing Disney songs together and complain about Frontiers of Science “homework.”
6:00 pm: Go in big group to JJ’s. Swear to eat chicken salad or something wholesome, end up eating chocolate chip pancakes and drinking hot chocolate.
6:45 pm: Get express breakfast since work is before breakfast on Friday, too.
7:00 pm: Leave for my own dorm with backpack and breakfast.
7:20 pm: Call Grandma. Talk about weather, classes, family, weather, classes, weather, family …great way to procrastinate while feeling productive.
8:00 pm: Shower.
8:30 pm: Start on homework that’s DUE TOMORROW GOSH DARN IT.
11:00-ish pm: Fall asleep with books on bed. They’ll still be there tomorrow.
Group of little workers via Shutterstock