77 CommentsWe received this video of a party in the John Jay laundry room from freshman Matteo Leibowitz. Let’s just say that this is the most awkward party we’ve ever seen (certainly not on the Grisham level)—you really have to see it for yourself:
We originally thought it was another propaganda video from CCSC, but that seems unlikely given the lack of snake-perspective shots. Besides, the student councils would never pass up an opportunity to use #OurBlue by using #HYPEMERCHANTS instead.
Why did they have a party in the laundry room, where there’s smelly water leaking from the washing machines? Why are there unrelated laundromats in the beginning? Did they throw the party just for a video? Why do only two people look happy? And finally, why the hell did Leibowitz send 17 emails to us linking to this video? So many questions. So few answers.
Loading …
77 Comments
@barsbarsbarsbars kushkushkushkush—- check out this dope album, i’m definitely not clem
barsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbars barsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbarsbars
@forgot da link... http://clementgelly.bandcamp.com/
@CC '14 The beat in this video goes hard tho… I cannot lie
@Go clement GO CL3M3NT RSPCA
@spinoffs https://www.facebook.com/kushkushkushlol
spinoff gals xoxo
@look at supplemental info http://spectrum.columbiaspectator.com/spectrum/hypemerchant-qa
q and a!!!!
@gentile word on the street this was MATTEOS BAT MITZVAH HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
@Matteo's gma mazel tov sweetie! kush kush xoxo
@word I got bat mitzvah vibese from this too
@Anonymous These types of things make me wonder whether I hate everyone at Columbia or love everyone at Columbia. . . i think hate.
@literally Alyssa Paul has a dank body and a wild side. I’d do.
@alyssa paul's boyfriend GTFO
@hahahahhaha #andrewpasquier #alyssapaul…..bring da hype to the laundry room.
@im tough Needs more sombreros
@Jose Mourinho Once again no sense of humor Columbia. Let me explain, it is a satire, a joke. Hype hype hype hype bare hype.
@Harry Redknapp *Leans out of Range Rover window* Agree 100% m8, ‘triffic sense of humour. Teo should come down Essex for a pint round local boozer
@teo hmu
@lol lol self-censorship on the internet lol
@wbar friend still better than flaxo
@anon -hype merchants
@Anonymous tags should also include “isaac sleator has a blast” and “close ups of aiden’s face”
@the diana hype merchants killed it at vareli, now killin in in the ***underground*** scene
@throwback https://bwog.com/2012/02/26/is-boss-status-the-future-of-hip-hop/
but will anything be more awkward than this
@also you can’t just call yourself Club Trillion. There’s a reason it sounds familiar. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=club+trillion
@anon I think the point is that this was a joke. and now their excellent radio show on wbar may have more listeners…check it out
@anon -hype merchants
@Anonymous This video actually made me kinda sad. No sign at all of alcohol, no snacks even. It’s just a bunch of freshmen jumping around in a smelly room while some geek plays shitty music. The fact that this passes as a party for some people is sort of depressing.
This video even bored the administrators/public safety/RAs who watched it.
@laundry room inc. we will provide snacks at laundry room 002, sorry about that. crucial party staple we’ve overlooked
@Anonymous Try adding more ‘party’ and less ‘awkwardly trying to look like you’re having fun’. The dudes looked bored and the girls were trying way too hard. It’s painful to watch you guys struggle, dude.
@Too mad Yo dog what the fuck is wrong with you?
@Administrator here Can confirm
@The Phantom Shadow this is almost as bad as a spec party
@znonh AMA request for someone who attended this party
@i think you mean “party”
@10/10 for DJ RASHAD
@ugh Wow, columbia still uses the gender-specific term “freshmen” to refer to people of all genders? That’s so last century.
@Using the term "mankind" Is also literally a hate crime… according to Columbia students
@jk? 1. CLASSIFICATION:
2. SYMBOLIZATION:
3. DEHUMANIZATION:
4. ORGANIZATION:
5. POLARIZATION:
6. PREPARATION:
7. EXTERMINATION
8. DENIAL
@had a check a couple times to make sure that wasn’t an acrostic
@MGTOW I agree: we should call them “freshwomyn” instead! Only womyn are humans, didn’t you know?
@confused bwog what is the point of this article
@Not a freshman This is also why I hate this school. Miserable people, drinking themselves numb, acting like they are in 8th grade. Worthless spoiled morons…..
@angry Should be titled “Freshman of the Tri-State Area and a few others Throw Weirdest Party Ever
@Anonymous Drinking what? There was a water bottle on the DJ’s table and in one brief shot you see a guy holding ginger ale. Looks like these kiddies are lame even without alcohol.
#abovetheinfluence
@heh wow andrew pasquier should model!!!
@angry Should be titled “Freshman of the Tri-State Area and a few others Throw Weirdest Party Ever
@Mugatu http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpjarvmRGs1qg88mco1_500.gif that andrew’s so hot right now
@barnardguuuuuuuuuurl pasquier is SOOOOOOOO adorable. omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@barnardguuuuuuuuuurl bwog!!! is pasquierr hot or not??????????
@how inefficient theyre just getting their clothes sweaty again :/
@the Butler pr0n girls Want to do a collaboration?
@THIS Is why i hate this school
@Ted Bundy The fact that any undergrad could be this actively butthurt over some benign freshman bullshit they read about at 12:30 on the Sunday night back from Spring break is a much more compelling reason to hate Columbia than this blatantly sarcastic video.
@Anonymous For the love of god I’m trying to do laundry can we please call haboosh to shut this nonsense down
@Anonymous PLEASE BOOSHBEAR PLEASE
@LOL but I think carman has given Boosh enough drama
I don’t think I could survive being on that staff, props to y’all
@wtf did I just watch?
@you just watched laundry room 001
@all you americans out there taking this seriously might want to check out http://boilerroom.tv/
@Definitely Not the same thing happening here, boiler room always has top notch artists, not some kid dj
@Anonymous “non-americans…”
um… you know boiler room has hosted events in LA and Chicago, right? and is like a major global phenomenon. and shares a very passing resemblance to this.
@Arsene Wenger /implosion/ edition Will Hype Merchants be available to travel to Swansea on Tuesday? They will undoubtedly inject some mental hype into our depleted squad
@Anonymous whoever you are, I want to be your friend.
@Arsene Wenger /implosion/ edition :3 If you have a spare proven Center Forward available on a free transfer we can be bffs
@Anonymous but is he top top quality?
or is this all just one of Mourinho’s elaborate mind games in disguise?
@Arsene Wenger /implosion/ edition His 83rd minute goal against Doncaster shows that he has mental strength. Did he pick up a bit of a calf-niggle? Yes maybe, he will be out for anywhere from 2 days to 6 months. It is no worry we have the squad depth to cope. He will be like a new signing later.
@bwog comments have officially been won. you can all go home now
@clubtrill comic sans the new uncanny of parties
@GS '13 I saw no bars
@matteo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhenogvNrno
@Dear Matteo Leibowitz, Who do you think you are, tarnishing the good name of Mark Titus, the original @clubtrillion?
@Stu That video sucked s#!+ and I think it gave me epilepsy.
@Wow I’d be so livid if I went to do my laundry and that was going on.
@Anonymous God damn it white people.
@what the hell is this white nonsense
@Anonymous Replace “white” with “black” and this entire campus would be up in arms
@umm It’s called a sense of humor…I don’t think white people are the only race to have one.