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Senior Wisdom: Yoachim Haynes



Today’s first Senior Wisdom is from Yoachim Haynes, whose teeth marks are on the floor of JJ15.

Name, Hometown, School, Major

Yoachim (as in “YO! KIM!” not Phoenix or Noah)
Trinidad and Tobago (Caribbean, not Africa as some have asked :/)
Environmental Engineering (All about them trees!)

Claim to fame: One question in and I’m stumped…this is gonna be rough.

I like to think of my finest moment as the time I demolished three teeth while attempting to do backflips in my JJ15 double. Teeth marks are still in the floor, which I found out is concrete covered in wood-vinyl, not real wood. I’ve left my mark in the most literal sense.

Where are you going? Existential crisis in 3…2…1…

If my work authorization comes through (fingers crossed), I’ll be in NYC for a few months working with a clean-tech consulting and events company. After, I’ll likely be off to San Fran with the same company and eventually back to Trinidad.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?

1. My friends have shaped the person that I have become. More than anything else, the people I have kept close to me have had the most significant impact on my life. I’ve learned the most about the world, life and myself from the conversations I’ve had with them. The crazy thing is that you don’t really get to choose who enters your life, as a fair deal of it is chance encounter and placement. You do have agency over who stays in your life however. Please… PLEASE… don’t waste time on people who aren’t worth it and try to ensure that the people in your close circles want the best for you and you for them.

2. Explore, get lost, it’s the bomb! I’m not sure if you realize, but this is New York City. It is far too easy to forget where you are while in this Columbia bubble. I’ve had the good fortune of spending three summers in the city and can attest first hand that there is rarely ever a dull moment when you venture out of the confines of 110th and 116th between Broadway and Amsterdam. The other boroughs are great as well (not so much Staten Island ☹… cool ferry ride though) and I highly recommend Steinway St. in Queens for authentic hookah, random Bronx events in the summer and just about anywhere in Williamsburg. Subscribe to event and happy hour websites like ‘The Skint’ and ‘OvertimeNYC’ to stay in the know.

3. Don’t take it too seriously. Four years is gone really quickly. Don’t waste half of that time complaining about your workload or your exams or any other number of complaints that the CU culture encourages you to bond over. Do your work but make time for play and meeting new, interesting people!

Back in my day… Combo over rice was $5 at every cart. Some of these criminals out here are charging $6 for the “hassle” of making an additional spatula movement. 115th and Bway Hallal guys, stay true!

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Decided at 18 that I wanted to do something substantial with my life. I left the event management company I had cofounded, travelled to a new country and will soon graduate with a degree in Environmental Engineering.

Write your most memorable note from the field: During Hurricane Sandy in my junior year, I ventured into Riverside with two friends and was almost hit by a flying door before being told by the police to go home. We may have been in an altered state (which for family and employers means raincoats, boots, etc.). That night, my besties and I stayed safe in our townhouse by playing poker, smoking hookah and consuming our rations of whiskey and snacks. This was possibly the moment I confirmed that these people were keepers.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? CHEEZE! Dairy products make me break out. Oral sex hasn’t done that to me yet…

One thing to do before graduating: Tell my crush how I feel about her…Running out of time! Yikes!

Any regrets? Lol…I put my claim to fame as breaking teeth in likely the stupidest way possible. I’ve clearly made some bad decisions but have zero regrets.

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  • IED says:

    @IED Yoachim! You are awesome. You are very dedicated to the things you are passionate about (way more than many others I know who are also dedicated to what they do). Wish you the best, you are a top-notch dude!

  • anon says:

    @anon Trinidad Haynes!

  • RR says:

    @RR *high five*

  • jj15 says:

    @jj15 loves you!

  • i hope says:

    @i hope i’m ur crush

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