Some things are just better left unsaid. This includes “hey, man, I hope it’s ok I used some of your hemorrhoid cream last night,” “I actually really hate Drake,” and “Donald Trump actually has a chance at winning the 2016 elections.” A recent conversation overheard at the Hungarian Pastry Shop takes the cake, though: two people, ostensibly on a date, were innocently discussing salads when things took a turn for the worse.
Dissecting the best salad-making techniques, one of the pair admitted that he “[didn’t] know how to toss them.”
In case you didn’t know, talking about tossing salad on a first date violates just about every single rule of romance. No, every rule of LIFE. If you’re wondering why discussing the methodology of covering leaves of lettuce with just the right amount of dressing is verboten in this context, you obviously haven’t watched the freaking Buzzfeed video detailing the nitty-gritty of “tossing salad” (the pre-video warning for “sexually explicit content” should give you a pretty good idea of what you’re in for), listened to the Nicki Minaj hit “Anaconda,” or ever taken a trip into the Urban Dictionary void. Honestly, good for you, but it’s important you know these things so you never make the mistake of being the kid who takes their date to Hungz and loudly discusses the merits of tossing salad manually versus with utensils.
The Hungarian Pastry Shop should be a safe space for enjoyment of buttery pastries and freaking out over senior theses–no salad tossing should be involved.
Sexy Salad via Shutterstock