We are constantly being surveilled, which should come as no surprise to you. Even as you stand on the downtown-bound platform at 116 Street – Columbia University (in the City of New York), awaiting the rumbling, forceless approach of the 1 train, you should feel a prickling on your neck. And when you notice the security camera screens above your head, the prickling should intensify.
Ordinarily, such TVs are placed so that people on the platform can view the security footage with relative ease, although few people care to do so. That isn’t the case here; you can’t see the front of the screen without climbing down into the tracks. And the people on the other platform are too far away to catch a glimpse of it—so what’s the point? Who is watching these screens?
We have a few theories:
- Columbia parents who are finding it difficult to let go. As they view the livestream, they wipe away the tears the sight of you has wrought. “Wow,” your parents murmur, gazing upon your club-going gear as you drunkenly pose with the wooden chair on the platform. When you throw up on the yellow line, they reach for their phones and send out a text: “R you okay, honey?? Call back soon.”
- The MTA, as it carefully calculates the best time to delay your train, make you late for your job interview, and derail your entire career.
- Frats and srats, which cross you off their list of prospects as soon as they overhear you’re going to Queens or Staten Island, arguably the least fun (and most mysterious) boroughs.
- U.S. News, which will come up with a new index for schools, ranking them from coolest to lamest. We will predictably come in at the middle of the pack.
- Deantini, just trying to understand the kids. He’s cool and hep, but needs more help being cool and hep!
- CCSC, also just trying to understand the kids.
One question remains: who is watching the watcher?
Orwellian via Bwog Staff