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Conspiracy Bwog: Why Barnard Girls Can’t Stop Cutting Their Hair

What is the deal with everybody chopping most of their hair off once they get to Barnard? Is this all part of the feminist agenda? Resident Bwoggay Sam Azanza uncovers the deep secrets of The Barnard Chop. “The Barnard Chop:” a term used for the impulsive haircut every Barnard first-year seems to get within the first few months […]

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Conspiracy Bwog: The Statues In St. John’s

If you’ve been inside St. John’s Cathedral, you may have noticed some very strange statues mounted on the pillars near the front part of the transept. They look like ceramic cartoon figures and are simultaneously weird, ghoulish, and adorable. What the hell is going on with them? This staff writer has some theories. I like […]

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Conspiracy Bwog: Why Does The Harmony Lobby Smell Like A McDonald’s?

Why does one of the dorms farthest from campus smell like a popular fast food restaurant? Staff writer Ezra Lerner has a theory.  A question that has plagued me since I first walked into the lobby of Harmony is “why does it smell like a McDonald’s?” (Don’t argue with me on this. If you don’t […]

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Conspiracy Bwog: What Is The Printer Outside Ivy League Stationers?

If you’ve walked by Ivy League Stationers in the past month or so, you’ve probably noticed the giant printer-thing outside it. What is the thing? Where did it come from? Why is it there? Sports Editor Abby Rubel has some theories. I first noticed the printer-thing outside Ivy League Stationers about a month ago. (Maybe […]

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Another Reason Why I Love John Jay

Only occasionally do I weigh in on the John Jay vs Ferris debate, but today I could not stay silent: John Jay is my jam. While shoving tofu cubes and hot sauce into my mouth during a meal with friends (actually with our dear EIC Youngweon and ESC boi Finn), a glistening blue tower in […]

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Conspiracy Theory: Schermerhorn Hall Is Not A Real Place

EIC Youngweon Lee asks a question that should be on all of our minds: does Schermerhorn Hall actually exist? My very first class at Columbia, a Tuesday 10:10 am anthropology class, was in 963 Schermerhorn Extension. I am adamant that this is probably one of the hardest classrooms to locate on campus, and it was […]

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Did Shake Shack Kill Ollie’s?: A Conspiracy Theory

In honor of the long-awaited opening of Shake Shack’s Morningside Heights location happening soon, we bring you a conspiracy theory on why Shake Shack is replacing Ollie’s.  The campus has been in an uproar for the past few months, ever since it was announced that Shake Shack will be taking over the spot where Ollie’s once stood. […]

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Barnard Students And The Case Of The Missing Mirrors

So we’re back from summer and settling into our primitively furnished, university-provided dwellings, right? Well, turns out we can’t even rely on Columbia or Barnard to even meet the primitive room necessities which we actually kinda require. In her latest investigation, Internal Editor Betsy Ladyzhets peers into the murky pool of Barnard’s facilities—but she sees no reflection. […]

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Goodbye, July: A Round-Up

It’s August, the most melancholy month—the one in which you mourn the coming of September, start comparison-shopping laptops, and draft angst-ridden goodbye emails to your boss (“I’m good for more than data entry!”). If you feel a tinge of panic at not having done anything (besides achieving oneness with your couch), well, that’s justified. You […]

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“Senior Care” Or Something More?

Some of the events on Columbia’s calendar may seem out-of-place at the university to an outsider’s eye. Students have been invited to workshops on how to get more sleep, how to have a better sex life, and how to live in small spaces, but though these may seem odd they are definitely (and unfortunately) relevant to most […]

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This Platform Is Under Observation

We are constantly being surveilled, which should come as no surprise to you. Even as you stand on the downtown-bound platform at 116 Street – Columbia University (in the City of New York), awaiting the rumbling, forceless approach of the 1 train, you should feel a prickling on your neck. And when you notice the […]

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The Cold War Of Coffee Cup Sizes

If you are half as much a caffeine addict as the average University student, you might not have noticed something untoward and thoroughly SHADY happening at two of your local purveyors of bean. If you shell out $5 daily for a cup of Joe, the change might have been too gradual for you to register. […]

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So You Want To Be A Spy

Earlier this week, we were tipped a document stating that an alleged Russian spy was recruiting at a “major” NYC university…perhaps Columbia? Inspired by this McSweeney’s column, our top conspiracy theorist describes the double life of a Columbia student turned secret agent. You begin preparing for your life in the shadows in the second week […]

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What Kind of Administration Spy Does Your Club Have?

Recently, Bwog received a tip that included the following disturbing information: “Public Safety infiltrates student groups. Seriously. If you start to organize, they send in people, or just one person, to your meeting and spy on you, and bring that intel back to the senior administration…. Some of their plain-clothes officers look (and in some […]

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Do You Even Golf, Bro?

Some colleges have golf courses, like Vassar and St. Andrews and probably a lot of other bougie schools Bwog doesn’t know about. But hey! Columbia is bougie, too! Why can’t we have a golf course? Don’t worry—we do. Chief Conspiracy Theorist Lauren Beltrone, BC ’17, brings us this guide to but a few of Columbia’s […]

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