Earlier today, we received a question from an anonymous tipster about the Senior Scramble results, which supposedly came out today. The email said:
“i got a senior scramble match do i email them back? wink at them over a 40? plz advize”
Well, tipster, we can assure you that you’re not alone in wondering how to fulfill your Senior Scramble match. In a time of Tinder and mindless swiping on the toilet, it seems as though true love connections are not really a thing anymore. However, the beauty of Senior Scramble is that you get to fulfill those crushes you’ve had on a fellow classmate since the beginning of the semester or the beginning of first-year. You have to take your shot with this match because you just never know when you could get this chance again.
In regards to how you go about connecting with your match, you gotta remain fun and flirty. No one wants to hookup with a match who is as clingy as an insecure white guy on Tinder messaging every person “u up?” Play it confident and cool. However, part of that means possibly making the first move and not waiting for the other person to reach out first. You are a smart, strong, capable individual. Don’t let societal norms or social anxieties hold you back from fulfilling your Senior Scramble match.
Email is gross. The only people you should be emailing are your professor to get an extension on your research paper or your grandma who sent you pictures of her cat. Stick with some other form of communication—Facebook messages are always light-hearted and not too creepy if you both are already friends. If you’re feeling culturally relevant, slide into their DM’s. If you do strike up a cyber convo, use emojis wisely. You should only use one wink emoji per four messages. Feel free to also double message the shit out of your match to really get across the point you’re a horny and sad senior.
We also like your idea about trying to make a move tonight at 40’s on 40. It will be a chill vibe, everyone will be in high spirits, and you’ll likely be buzzed enough to have little to no inhibitions. Fake fall in front of the match while walking down Low Steps so that they have to catch you and strike up a convo. Nonchalantly sip from your 40 (while spitting it back in the bottle because that drink is gross). You’ll come off as laid back and fun, which is a great start for a Wednesday night hookup.
You don’t need to follow our advice, but you should take full advantage of reaching out to your match. You both picked each other’s UNIs for a reason, so don’t let the opportunity go to waste. Whip out those old Cosmo magazines on your roommate’s desk to get some tips on giving oral then make your move.
XO, Momma Bwog