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Bacchanal Survival Guide 2016

You and the squd getting lit in SigChi

You and the squd getting lit in SigChi

Isn’t the Friday before Bacchanal just glorious? Birds are singing, sorority girls are bedazzling their fanny packs, and students are picking up from their dealer just in time for the big day. To help you get through the big day, we have put together our annual Bacchanal survival guide with all the info you need about the event.

The night before:

  • Put those Jell-O shots/gummy bears in the fridge to set overnight. Jell-O shots are a great way to get boozy on Bacchanal, and it’s almost like taking a shot without feeling like you’re gunna vomit! If you want to get fancy, try out some champagne Jell-O shots with your bottle of Moët to really impress your pre-game.
  • Cook up some tasty medicinal marijuana treats. You can likely get everything made the day before and not have to worry about any prep before partaking in a glorious high-spirits day on the lawns. We’re planning on embracing our inner-Ina Garten and making firecrackers.
  • Make a pre-game playlist. No one is going to want to stick around in your Carman double if you’re playing some old shit. Fetty is always safe to get you hype (considering we can’t have him for the concert.) Alternatively, just put on the playlist we made for you!
  • Do your homework. God knows you will not be able to even see straight beyond 11 AM tomorrow, so there’s not chance in hell you’re getting any work done before noon on Sunday. Get a head start on your problem set and your hungover Sunday self will be thankful. This will also keep you from being a dumbass and getting drunk the night before Bacchanal.

The morning:

  • Go to Holi. You can probably skip this step if you’re an upperclassman, but first-years should experience the fun. Grab a shitty white t-shirt and head over to Ancel Plaza around 9:45 AM. Holi starts at 10 AM, but you’ll want some good access to the paint to throw at your friend’s face. Don’t forget your ID! [Note: we were just informed that Holi has been postponed, and now our world is crumbling.]
  • Eat a bagel. Bagels will be provided at the entrances of all the CU dorms throughout the morning. It’s likely you’re going to be having too much fun to remember to eat lunch, so make sure to carb up early with an everything bagel and some schmear.
  • Charge your phone and get dressed. If you show up covered in paint or smelling gross to Bacchanal, we will personally fight you. Do everyone you’re going to be standing next to during the concert a favor and take a shower the morning of Bacchanal. While you’re doing this, put your phone on the charger so you’ll have battery life to snapchat the entire concert. See our outfit guide for inspo for your Bacchanal outfit. Midriff, fanny packs, and dirty white sneakers are encouraged.
  • Pick up your wristband. You can grab them at designated times and locations between 9 AM and noon. Better to pick them up early because that line is going to get hella long real quick. Bring your ID so you can prove your identity. Fingerprints and retina scans might also work?
  • Head out into the world and partake in libations. Bacchanal was originally a “drunken revelry” so throw caution to the wind and enjoy your day. (But really, don’t be dumb. No one wants to call CAVA for their dumb friend before the concert even starts.) Get that SigChi jungle juice. Drink a PBR for the first and last time this year.
  • Don’t be dumb. No one is going to want to leave a frat to drag your ass back to the dorms because you already had too much to drink. It is entirely unacceptable to squat on 114th and scream at your friend that you’re just going to stay here for the rest of the day. Also, don’t go into a frat/any party alone. The buddy system is imperative on Bacchanal. Make sure you have people’s numbers and keep track of your friends. Just don’t end up fucking up everyone else’s good time because you’re irresponsible.

The show:

  • Plan your time of arrival. Bacchanal is scheduled to begin at 12:30 PM, which is likely just going to be the student openers. Main acts probably won’t go on until closer to 3 PM. Expect Rae Sremmurd to go on around 5 PM. 4 PM isn’t a bad estimate for when you’ll want to get over to Low. Early birds will always get better spots in the pig pens. Remember, the lawns will be open if you didn’t get a ticket but still want to listen to the concert.
  • Bring the bare essentials. You’re really only going to get away with bringing in a VERY small bag, your phone, and ID into the pig pens. If you’re going to be partaking in “entertainment enhancement chemicals,” bring some gum to chew during the concert. If you don’t need something, don’t bring it. It’s probably going to get taken. And yes, we also mean those tampon wrapper shots that you’re trying to sneak in. Public Safety doesn’t want you to menstruate!
  • Don’t push people! If there’s one thing people remember about Bacchanal last year it’s that they likely almost fell down at least 10 times from people pushing them. We’re all excited about the big event, but don’t end up pissing off everyone around you.
  • Go to the bathroom. You are definitely losing your great spot if you have to pee right before a performer goes on. Head to the bathroom for a pee before you head out for the day. Besides, you’re probably full of liquid by this point in the day.
  • Don’t go in the fountains.

While Bacchanal is supposed to be a day of fun and joy, things may go terribly wrong. Make smart decisions and take care of your fellow classmates. Don’t be a dick to the people doing their jobs on campus just because you’re drunk (this includes concert security, dorm security, dining hall workers, etc.) In case of an emergency, CAVA’s number is (212) 854-5555. Water, food, and sunscreen stations will be set up around the concert area. The worst thing that could happen on Bacchanal is you don’t even make it to the concert because you made poor decisions.

Happy Bacchanal Eve to all!

Photo via Rae Sremmurd’s Twitter

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