Christina EllsbergOur Senior Wisdom installation for the Class of 2016 wouldn’t be complete without a little wisdom from Barnard Babe and NSOP Queen Christina Ellsberg, who tells us about how you should get through your four years at Columbia.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Christina Ellsberg, Barnard, Anthropology, Historic Ossining

Claim to fame: I’d like to say I’m known for my charm, my Schwarzenegger-esque physique, and my tenure in Control Top and Chowdah, but realistically most people know me as the person who read at Community Forum during NSOP.

Where are you going? Brooklyn, where I can have as many rats as I want.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?
First, when you pour cereal, pull the bag up out a little so that stray flakes don’t fall into the bottom of the box. Otherwise you’ll attract moths. Second, the “four school relationship” doesn’t exist in any way beyond the offices, staff, faculty, administrators, and, most importantly, the students who create / navigate it every day. Don’t get bogged down in the confusing rhetoric and inconsistent lines drawn between Barnard, GS, CC, and SEAS—it’s all a bureaucratic work in progress, and you have as much say as anyone in how respectfully it’s accomplished. Third, trust no one.

“Back in my day…” Computers took up a whole room and were powered by turnspit dogs on treadmills. Oh, and you could specifically ask for a bbq chicken pizza in the Diana Café instead of just waiting for one to appear.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. Science journalism, cross-species altruism, and overalls over all.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Recess.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Both if either. If you think you’re enjoying one without the other, you’re using them both wrong anyway.

One thing to do before graduating: Print out all the readings you might ever want to read before you lose access to Courseworks.

Any regrets? Every time I’ve ever shouted at my dog. Also, one time I forgot to wear a belt and my pants fell down as I jogged across the street by NoCo.

“Here is a photo where my biceps look pretty strong” via Christina Ellsberg