Our condolences to those spending their summers on campus

If you haven’t already realized (and if you haven’t…did you get lost in your copy of Infinite Jest? Are you putting in too many hours at your JP Morgan summer internship?), it’s July! Before you drink yourself into a coma this holiday weekend (please don’t…ugh…you don’t live in Carman anymore), try to clear your head of its summer haze and catch up on what’s going down in MoHi. Here’s what you may have missed in May and June (as far as Columbia is concerned):

Scenes from MoHi (we don’t wish you were here):

Summertime Notes from the Field:

  • Got in a car accident–oops!
  • Started Infinite Jest.
  • Got harassed by a dude at the club–he put his necklace in my bag, Facebook friended me, then demanded the necklace back the next day.
  • Spent several hours going through old photos; realized that I will never again produce art as great as the photos I took of my sister in 2005.
  • I, too, started Infinite Jest.
  • Went for a hike in the woods of NH and got so lost we had to call the police.
  • Got asked to the ballet by an NYU professor.
  • Did not start Infinite Jest.
  • Placed bets on Brexit happening and won good money. Afterward, I laughed at people who told me I would lose money.
  • Spent an entire workday highlighting Excel spreadsheets.