Meet Hamilton (left) and Rufus (right)!!! They have over 90 thousand followers on Instagram.

This weekend was one for the books, friends. Whether you wound up covered in glitter, sweat your ass off at Sig Chi, or just stayed in to avoid the cold, it seems Bwog has covered all the bases. Check out this weekend’s field notes.

Beauty is pain:

  • Bruised the bottom of my feet from jumping down full flights of stairs in EC.
  • Bled for the Band.
  • Played black ops laser tag and killed more people than anyone else on my team. Lost my voice from screaming and haven’t gotten it back.
  • Was running late for my 8:40, accidentally ran into the doorframe in the bathroom, popped my nose out of joint and it started bleeding everywhere. Bathroom looks like a crime scene, but I was only five minutes late! (Read: how the fuck does one “pop” their nose out of its “joint”)
  • Woke up Saturday morning with blood all over my sheets. Looked in the mirror only to see the biggest, grossest, bloodiest, nastiest bruise/scrape/cut completely covering my left ass cheek. I blacked out and have NO idea what happened.
  • Almost puked in the street on the corner of 19th and Fifth Ave because I was so hungover.
  • Went to Times Square before noon. Twice.

But sometimes we choose to be pain-free:

  • Found out I got a paid internship for this summer on Friday… proceeded to spend the rest of the weekend periodically crying of happiness
  • Guessed bartender’s country of origin. Got free wine. We went to different bar, he later showed up there. More free shots.
  • Escaped to Connecticut to visit my grandmother in her retirement community where nothing happens and it’s blissfully boring (also it’s Connecticut, so maybe that’s redundant).
  • Crashed a birthday party at Beta on Friday night.
  • Ran two high pressure events in two days. $3000 was raised and only one person threw up.
  • Rode in a shopping cart… it wasn’t as fun as I remembered.
  • Spent the night in Carman for the first time ever. Never again, even though they were an incredible cuddler.
  • Wound up in the Beta basement with my best friend and no one else after the party had considerably calmed down. Found the aux cord and danced my heart out to Lorde until I blacked out.
  • Made a considerable profit off selling Girl Scout cookies to hungry Columbia students.
  • Met an Instagram famous pug (@hamiltonpug).
  • Sat through a three hour hair appointment so a kickass European woman could dye my hair white. I’m obsessed.

Photo via my iPhone. That’s right. I took this photo. Because I met these dogs.