Only occasionally do I weigh in on the John Jay vs Ferris debate, but today I could not stay silent: John Jay is my jam. While shoving tofu cubes and hot sauce into my mouth during a meal with friends (actually with our dear EIC Youngweon and ESC boi Finn), a glistening blue tower in a corner caught my eye. A fat stack of Dasani water bottles quietly occupied a humble square foot of the back dining room, proving what I honestly already knew: our lovely CU dining staff has been filling the Coke touch-machines with bottled water. It only makes sense—the bright blue water button in the corner is just a digital symbol of its real bright blue presence in the corner of the dining room. What else could they possibly use all of those water bottles for? To hydrate NYC marathon runners? To draw a fine bottled water bubble bath for our fearless leader? To mobilize drinking water? Obviously not. Too many times have I heard people misdirect their praise to the drip of the Catskill/Delaware watershed: “Ah, wow, so refreshing. Isn’t it great that NYC has the best tap water EVER? (!!!)” But I always knew those extra electrolytes weren’t deposited by the fins of upstate fish. The Johnathan Jay Collective (praise for JJ’s too) has been providing us with only the purest, hydrating, best water money could buy. And for that, I thank them, endorse them, and love them.
splash via Amara Banks