Bwog Breaded Good Amara shares a Butler diary entry at this fine hour of 3:21am. 

Nothing reminds me of November like a failed course registration, JJ’s sugar-only hot chocolate, and running around this library at 3am with no shoes on. Oh yeah, and thumbtacks in Ferris potatoes. ~~~Ahh, fall~~~~

In the late (barefooted) nights I’ve spent in Butler, I’ve noticed a couple things I’ve been dying to share with someone who would care. So far, none of my friends have. Bored at Butler—rest her sweet precious soul—is dead. So I turn to you, Bwog.

  1. Can we talk about these new faucets in the bathrooms!!!!! Three years of hitting the antithesis of a Family Feud button for 10 seconds of low pressure, luke-cold water has finally paid off. Some time in recent history (my guess is over fall break?  Have reached out to facilities PR (this exists) for a firm answer but please don’t come for me this is a late-night column not an investigative series on sinks), facilities replaced those port-a-potty faucets with what we should call the Cadillac of water dispensers. Seriously, I want to talk about this suave flow and these top-tier spray holes.
  2. Why why why is it that everyone who’s gotten a new MacBook can no longer remember how to type? The new keyboard is supposed to make it easier to type—why are you smacking your keys like they’re the ones who assigned you a 3000-word take-home midterm? I once heard a girl type every letter of her discussion post through my earbuds. Sis. It’s incredibly distracting and attention-seeking; please type considerately like everyone else.
  3. And if like my friends, you really didn’t care about 1 & 2, perhaps this point will speak to you. Last week I was reminded another time that it really is November when I found myself standing in line for Blue Java for the fourth night in a row. I love coffee though! How could I have subjected myself to this deep concentration of tree bark in a cup??? November vibes I guess. But in the midst of my sadness, I made a discovery—Blue Java has punch cards! You can actually get (well deserved) recognition for every time you drink their coffee. This has made me a bit better about my nearly nightly espresso nadir.

That’s all. I hope one of you guys cares. Also comment your Butler field notes or send them to tips@bwog.com……… gn ♥

Update, 2/6/2019: Facilities PR responded to my inquiry asking if this was a real inquiry. I did not see his email until three months later. Sorry Noah! And yes it was! The people need to know!

I’m splashinnnnn via Amara Banks