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Cup Still Half Full: June Round-Up 2019

Ah yes, summer. Who needs an exclusive membership to a UES hot yoga studio when you have an all-access pass to New York’s (actual) hottest club – the Wretched Land of No God, Dante’s 0th circle, otherwise known as the boiling pits of an underground MTA subway station on a 85-degree sunny day?

Like a rusty subway car (so old you just KNOW it lacks the AC you crave) rattling its way towards you down the track, the 2019-20 school year comes creeping as we hit July, the mid-way point of the summer. To stave off our despair and commemorate all the fun, sweaty summer days we’ve had so far, here’s a look back on what happened in MoHi this June.


Some Pics:

Field Notes:

  • Held human lungs in my hand (then chopped ’em, ground ’em, and filtered out the mucus). One came to our lab in a takeout container
  • Went on a yacht in Greece and felt like a bad bitch
  • Got a new black poodle puppy and named it Mango
  • Conned my intern friend into giving me rides to work every day
  • Got hit by a car (x2)
  • Got hit by a bike
  • Got hit in the face by a bumblebee
  • Got hit in the head with a shovel by my brother and had to go to the ER
  • Got drunk and shattered a 55 year old brandy designed by Salvador Dalí while trying to lower it from the cabinet
  • Spent too many nights at Phebes :(
  • Went to Pride for 15 mins and then left because it was too hot!! (missed all the celebs and took a nap on a sad air mattress at my friend’s apartment)
  • Procrastinated on my medical school applications. Currently dying (at time of publication)
  • Got way too drunk at happy hour. took a “brief” nap when i got home and woke up at 5am
  • Moved twice in the same building (i hate barnard res life)
  • Met up with Barnumbia friends in Seoul
  • Went to Trader Joe’s like 50 times
  • Fostered 5 week old kittens!!
  • Booked with the hometown high school gang<3
  • Went to go visit my friend in NYC and I threw up in her bathtub from really shit sangria I made in a plastic mixing bowl.
  • Had someone steal my wallet (with both my fakes inside 🙃) and commit credit card fraud with my stuff during said housing disaster
  • Went to Firefly music festival in Dover and got so high and paranoid that I thought I pissed myself in public.
  • Saw the National (i.e., the band whose unofficial logo i have inked on my arm) perform for the first time and wrapped the lead singer in a bear hug when he made his way through the crowd
  • Went back home w/ my girlfriend for a weekend and met her parents without dying
  • Slowed down for a little bit to tend to my health and learned how to feel a little less guilty about doing just that in the process :))
  • Somehow dating 5+ people
  • Got really into running/biking, so much so that I biked from Battery Parm and back on the fourth of July
  • Some random dude on the train started sketching me— I am at least four cup sizes bigger in the picture
  • Got cut off by my parents to so I could “learn the value of the £$” and cried for four hours straight
  • Met some beautiful human beings in Greece
  • Tanned in Central Park on a sunny 85-degree day for 4 hrs until I had a headache. Walked around Plaza Food Hall dazed and hungry afterward
  • Had so many boozy picnics in Central Park!
  • Been cooking lunch for work at least 3/5 days! Very adult
  • Visited high school English teacher and aspired to get a dog just like hers (wiener dog and black Dane mix)
  • Moved into my new apartment and caught two of my best friends hooking up on the couch during housewarming
  • Heard “I love you” from my father for the first time
  • Watched my sisters graduate high school and was stunned by the linear passage of time
  • Went to a club for the first time (x2)
  • Also got a job at a pho restaurant which is the best because free pho
  • Started my language scholarship program!
  • Bought a Chinese SIM card and applied for a Chinese bank account.

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous We already ban water-cooled air conditioning on environmental grounds. Now we need to mandate that air conditioning only operate on solar power. Air conditioning has caused our worst blackouts. It’s time to take it off the grid. If you run air conditioning by solar all day while you are away, your house won’t need to be cooled at night. Sun caused the blackouts, let it fix them!

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous yes, more centralized social planning.

  • anon says:

    @anon Luxury 36 story high rise on 122nd street ready for occupants. Second 45 story luxury high rise starting construction on 122nd and Claremont.

  • anon says:

    @anon The two new business school and entrepreneur buildings have topped out.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous > PrezBo wrote a thinkpiece in The Atlantic on a fresh, unexpected topic – free speech.
    In which for some reason he didn’t mention the university’s attack on Orgo Night, because, oh yeah, hypocrisy.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Remember kids, there is nothing wrong with being white.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous This alt-right bullshit needs to fucking stop

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