Ah yes, summer. Who needs an exclusive membership to a UES hot yoga studio when you have an all-access pass to New York’s (actual) hottest club – the Wretched Land of No God, Dante’s 0th circle, otherwise known as the boiling pits of an underground MTA subway station on a 85-degree sunny day?
Like a rusty subway car (so old you just KNOW it lacks the AC you crave) rattling its way towards you down the track, the 2019-20 school year comes creeping as we hit July, the mid-way point of the summer. To stave off our despair and commemorate all the fun, sweaty summer days we’ve had so far, here’s a look back on what happened in MoHi this June.
Earlier this summer, Riverside Park also brought in a herd of goats to clear its weeds. Because they are Very Good Boys who have been working “ahead of schedule,” the goats will be sent back upstate for a bit until returning later in the summer to continue their work.
so the new abbreviation is “Wu” right
fire trucks lined up on 114th after an incident in june, rumored to have been caused by burnt food
outside carman on a peaceful summer night
cute lil balloons
new york city from a broadway window
an empty broadway sky lounge, like chicken soup for the soul
sunny gates of amsterdam! <3
Held human lungs in my hand (then chopped ’em, ground ’em, and filtered out the mucus). One came to our lab in a takeout container
Went on a yacht in Greece and felt like a bad bitch
Got a new black poodle puppy and named it Mango
Conned my intern friend into giving me rides to work every day
Got hit by a car (x2)
Got hit by a bike
Got hit in the face by a bumblebee
Got hit in the head with a shovel by my brother and had to go to the ER
Got drunk and shattered a 55 year old brandy designed by Salvador Dalí while trying to lower it from the cabinet
Spent too many nights at Phebes :(
Went to Pride for 15 mins and then left because it was too hot!! (missed all the celebs and took a nap on a sad air mattress at my friend’s apartment)
Procrastinated on my medical school applications. Currently dying (at time of publication)
Got way too drunk at happy hour. took a “brief” nap when i got home and woke up at 5am
Moved twice in the same building (i hate barnard res life)
Met up with Barnumbia friends in Seoul
Went to Trader Joe’s like 50 times
Fostered 5 week old kittens!!
Booked with the hometown high school gang<3
Went to go visit my friend in NYC and I threw up in her bathtub from really shit sangria I made in a plastic mixing bowl.
Had someone steal my wallet (with both my fakes inside 🙃) and commit credit card fraud with my stuff during said housing disaster
Went to Firefly music festival in Dover and got so high and paranoid that I thought I pissed myself in public.
Saw the National (i.e., the band whose unofficial logo i have inked on my arm) perform for the first time and wrapped the lead singer in a bear hug when he made his way through the crowd
Went back home w/ my girlfriend for a weekend and met her parents without dying
Slowed down for a little bit to tend to my health and learned how to feel a little less guilty about doing just that in the process :))
Somehow dating 5+ people
Got really into running/biking, so much so that I biked from Battery Parm and back on the fourth of July
Some random dude on the train started sketching me— I am at least four cup sizes bigger in the picture
Got cut off by my parents to so I could “learn the value of the £$” and cried for four hours straight
Met some beautiful human beings in Greece
Tanned in Central Park on a sunny 85-degree day for 4 hrs until I had a headache. Walked around Plaza Food Hall dazed and hungry afterward
Had so many boozy picnics in Central Park!
Been cooking lunch for work at least 3/5 days! Very adult
Visited high school English teacher and aspired to get a dog just like hers (wiener dog and black Dane mix)
Moved into my new apartment and caught two of my best friends hooking up on the couch during housewarming
Heard “I love you” from my father for the first time
Watched my sisters graduate high school and was stunned by the linear passage of time
Went to a club for the first time (x2)
Also got a job at a pho restaurant which is the best because free pho
Started my language scholarship program!
Bought a Chinese SIM card and applied for a Chinese bank account.