Editor in Chief Jenny Zhu has been personally victimized by Columbia University.
Let me set the scene for you. It’s a regular Tuesday at Bwog. We’re talking about campus buildings when someone brings up that one famous classroom building depicted most notably in Ghostbusters, Havermeyer Hall. Except, it’s not called Havermeyer Hall. Or even Havenmeyer hall. The building is called mfing HAVEMEYER hall! That’s right, H-a-v-e-m-e-y-e-r. I’m sorry, but what?????
Havemeyer Hall is a Mandela effect in the flesh, and I’m already losing too much sleep over it. (If you’re
a normal stable person who doesn’t engage in conspiracy theories a cop and you don’t know what a Mandela effect is, it’s a phenomenon in which we’re certain that we remember a concept a specific way, but we’re actually wrong. It also proves that alternate dimensions are real..don’t text.)
At this point, this whole affair has wrought egregious emotional distress and indelible outrage upon me, every single person I’ve revealed this fact to, and now you, our sorry reader. What kind of name is “Havemeyer”? Who gave authorization for this name to exist? What is the correct way to pronounce it? And why do people pronounce “Havemeyer” with a consonant sound before the “m” (which most people interpret as an “r” sound, but I clearly interpret as an “n” sound)?
Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this tomfoolery is that there are also other Mandela effects on campus, just lurking, waiting maliciously for the next opportunity to cause mass hysteria among the general student population. Here are some of these Mandela effects that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately:
- Mandela Effect 1: Columbia Dining does not have an officially-sponsored app. No, I’m not talking about Dine@CU. I thought they had an official Dining-sponsored app that had provided the daily menus for each of the dining halls? Why did I think that?
- Mandela Effect 2: The Blue Java Cafe in Lerner is actually called Cafe 212, not Blue Java. This discovery was only first made known to me when they held that Cafe 212 birthday celebration last week. But I thought it was called “Blue Java” this whole time, because they serve Blue Java branded items?
- Mandela Effect 3: Your RA can’t help you loft your bed. News flash: your RA lacks tools of any sort and oftentimes the basic arm strength required for such an operation. You’re supposed to journey over to Hartley Hospitality for that. Not exactly sure why every first-year, second-year, and their actual mother during move-in think that I, as their RA, can somehow loft their bed, but it’s gotten to the point where even *I* am starting to think I can loft their bed.
- Mandela Effect 4: The men and women’s bathroom on Hamilton don’t alternate floors. I was trying to help my friend find the women’s bathroom in Hamilton the other day and told her to go to floor 4, because it was one floor up from the floor 3 men’s bathrooms and I for some reason had thought that each floor in Hamilton alternated between having men’s and women’s bathrooms? She ended up not finding the bathroom because I had given her incorrect information. Not sure if this is a Mandela effect or if I’m just dumb.
I don’t know why PrezBo’s mind control machine took it upon itself to implant these false memories in our minds and in doing so singlehandedly ruin our lives on the daily, but in my humble opinion it’s pretty freakin’ cruel. If you have any insights to share, answers to my questions, or can just confirm that you feel this way too and I’m not just living in an actual fever dream, please hit me up at email@example.com. Please! My sanity depends on it!
This building is not called Havemeyer via Bwarchives