Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

The Wienobyline Codex

An account of the signs and omens which preceded the Wien laundry meltdown, and of the disorders surrounding its occurrence. It can also be added that those who were present during the disaster found out and gave an account of many things that happened during it, things that others did not know.

Some weeks before the arrival of the fires, an omen first appeared in the stairwell, like a great cry or shrieking, like many people wailing. For a full hour, on a nearly weekly basis, it made itself heard, and when it appeared there would be an outcry, and people would hit their hands against their mouths as they yelled. This was the sign of the a capella people practicing in a stairwell instead of a practice room, and it was the first portent of the coming disaster.

The second omen that happened here in Wien was that of its own accord the rooms of cleaning, what they call the shower, acquired a putrid scent from the grate in its floor; no one took a shit in it, it just took a smell itself. Then there was an outcry. They said “O! That smells really bad,” but the smell did not depart, it came and went as it pleased, emanating as a miasma from the grate in the floor.

The third omen was that of a window that permitted the ingress of a monstrously sized cockroach. The reason it was taken as an omen was that it was such a large creature, with wings that blotted out the sun when it took flight. It was said that it made a terrible crunching noise when it was finally destroyed due to its strong and crunchy exoskeleton, and that other smaller beasts of this type, along with all manner of moth, spider, and fly made their way through the windows.

The fourth omen was that while the sun was still out, a burning heat filled the building. It reached a great distance, even into the lobby. When it was felt, there was a great outcry, like the noise of much rustling fabric, as the multitudes removed their jackets and fanned themselves against the heat.

When the meltdown first began, its presence was announced by a great cloud of smoke and the stench of burning fabric and lint. This smoke clouded the air, making it acrid and painful to the lungs and throats of those who breathed it, and offensive in nature to the mucous membranes of the eyes and nose.

The next thing which the people witnessed was the arrival of many large red trucks, with sirens and bright lights, from which disembarked men in heavy coats with fluorescent strips, carrying equipment. These were the firefighters, sent to fight the fire. They passed through the smoke and into the laundry room, swiftly extinguishing the smoking lint and scattering its broken form upon the floor.

With the fire ended, the final remnants remained the great fog of smoke filling a large portion of the building, and the broken forms of the burnt material laying upon the laundry room floor. The laundry room acquired a stench of sickly-sweet chemicals, which spread out into the region and from a distance became almost like freshly-baked bread, but of a sinister nature. The window of the laundry machine had become warped and twisted, and burn marks adorned its surfaces.

washing machine via flickr

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

Have Your Say

What should Bwog's new tagline be?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Recent Comments

I would recommend CUNY professor William Helmreich's "The New York Nobody Knows." It's a great work of urban sociology (read more)
What To Listen To, Read, And Watch If You Miss New York
March 31, 2020
how did the group name 'beta fish fight club' not make this list (read more)
March Madness: Housing Edition
March 30, 2020
Every Ivy had a decline in applications. There are fewer high school seniors every year as well as fewer international (read more)
Class Of 2024 Regular Decision Results Have Been Released
March 30, 2020
This answered so many questions for me. Thank you. (read more)
In Defense of Calling The Milstein Center “Millie”
March 30, 2020

Comment Policy

The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
  • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
  • Hate speech
  • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
  • Personal information about an individual
  • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
  • Spam or self-promotion
  • Copyright infringement
  • Libel