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Rejected Bwog Pitches For “Blank As Places On Campus”

Staff Writer Nicki Camberg visits many buildings, and would like to continue to categorize them in fun, #quirkyandrelatable manners, but the MAN™ that is the Bwog board said no. Here, are a rejected list of her and other Bwogger’s ideas for posts. 

Recently, a commenter on a lovely Bwog post, “Columbia/Barnard Dining Halls As Posts Bwog Has Written About Columbia/Barnard Dining Halls” remarked that we are “really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?”. I would have to humbly disagree with this reader, as I truly believe some of our best, most quintessential content is Bwog’s knack for acutely identifying the spirit of campus spots as metaphors for the larger world, from “Campus Buildings As Food Items That Reynolds Woodcock Ordered In The Phantom Thread Breakfast Scene” to “Columbia Buildings As Leap Years“. Alas, many of our staff’s suggestions for these posts have been voted down by the close-minded sheeple who don’t want to see us thrive, and these ideas are listed below for your reading pleasure.

  • Your Toenails As Barnard Dorms
  • Mysterious Puddles On Flat Ground As Buildings Where I’ve Failed Midterms
  • Novels In The Fifty Shades And Twilight Franchises As Barnard Academic Buildings
  • Pieces Of Food On The Lerner Stairs As Offices In Hamilton
  • Pigeons As Buildings I’ve Never Entered
  • Colors Of My Muji Pens As Buildings Where I’ve Been More Than Five Minutes Late To A Seminar
  • Timothée Chalamet’s Body Parts As Rooms Where I Have Had An Emotional Breakdown
  • Yoga Poses As Specific Steps On The Stairs In Hamilton
  • Letters Of The Alphabet As Dorms
  • Vintage Harry Styles As Dining Halls
  • Vintage Chair Styles As Dining Halls
  • Vintage Pear Tiles As Dining Halls
  • The Levels Of Your Parent’s Disappointment In You As Milstein Study Spaces
  • The Change In PrezBo’s Salary From Year To Year As Classroom Names
  • Trader Joe’s Deserts As Rooms With Under 30 People Sitting Capacity
  • TikTok Trends As Libraries You Have Cried To Your Mother In
  • 1960’s Russian Gymnasts As Bodies Of Water On Campus

The comment that started it all screenshot via Bwogger

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous learn to spell

  • tree says:

    @tree pour one out for campus figures as bowls of water :'(

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous *dining halls as heated bwog comment chains about the israeli apartheid :(

  • jeffrey says:

    @jeffrey bwog staff as the @not_bwog twitter

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Members of the Third Reich as CU Administrators

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