So useless to deride, so useful to descry: Ferris, the best dorm on campus, gets described.

(Note: This is the first of Bwog’s annual Housing Reviews. Check back soon for more.)

Location: Manhattan

  • Other dorms nearby: Carmen, Carlton Arms
  • Restaurants: Halal, Cafe East, Columbia Journalism School
  • Very easy trip to John Jay

Cost: Waiting-in-long-lines/year


  • Bathrooms: Men’s bathrooms are a long-way gone.
  • AC/Heat: Both.
  • Kitchen: Yes, but don’t go in.
  • Lounge: No, only work.
  • Laundry Room: There’s food, but no washing machines.
  • Computers/Printers: There’s a windowless, printer-full computer room on the fourth floor of Lerner. But it smells kinda weird.
  • Gym: No, but there are ramps and stairs for rollerblading.
  • Transportation: Free walking with a Columbia ID.
  • WiFi: No, only Ethernet.
  • Hardwood/Carpet floors: Play-doh carpet.
  • Salad: Yes.
  • There is a deck.

Facilities: Serving stations, tables, and chairs.

Room Varieties: The entire student body is divided into three rooms.

Last Year’s Lottery Numbers:

Eating rooms (15.66667/154)

Area behind the salad bar: (10/ 3190)

Resident Opinions:

“Go for John Jay instead.”

“I fell asleep at the vegan station once. 10/10.”

“You see, the disjuncture between species-being and product alienation is that the ‘metaphysical niceties’ inherent in the post-Hegelian Harm Principle majority complex take time to affect mass societal productive bounds. I chose Ferris to improve my civic association, but self-interest smacks me with its invisible hand. Dialectical.”

“The only thing missing from the deck is cup holders.”

Bwog Recommendation:

If you’re looking to sleep in a place that has omelettes, Ferris is probably the way to go.


All Photos via Bwog Archive