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Million Dollar Ideas

By the time you finish reading this article, you’ll have so much money that you’ll have trouble seeing the stairs.

For over fifty years, man has yearned to get rich. But it wasn’t until now that he could.

I, Senior Staff Henry Writer Golub, rightful heir to everything North of the 522nd parallel, do hereby present you with not seven, but six product ideas that will net you millions.


(1) The Meaning Machine

This machine, when engaged, will imbue everything you hear, see, or smell with subtext.

If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what to do.

(2) The Endless Water Bottle

It will hold infinite water, and it will only fit inside the Infinite Backpack.

The power of Iceland within your hands.

(3) The Longest Ride, By Nicholas Sparks

Whoever writes this book will sell millions’ worth, I’ll tell you what.

Literary.

(4) Edible Shampoo

Gone are the days of hungry showers.

Until now, this was the only way to clean your hair.

(5) Eight Hours Of Sleep

No comment.

No caption.

(6) Something Columbia Related

This post must have something related to Columbia for me to publish it on Bwog.

googly eyes 4 lyfe
Variable Cost.

So there you have it: six ideas that will let you retire at age 23. But before you become the next John Telephone Pole, think long and hard. Ask yourself: “Can I handle the heat?”

Subtext via Wikimedia Commons

Waterfall via Fshoq

Horse via HDwallpapers.net

Person via PxHere

The Ringer via Wikimedia Commons

Sign via Bwog Archive

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4 Comments

  • Revolving Dora says:

    @Revolving Dora Hilarious! So proud of my little :)

  • A billionaire says:

    @A billionaire I wanna hire you!

  • Not Barack Obama 😝 says:

    @Not Barack Obama 😝 Wait how do I measure my heat tolerance?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous this dude is an actual genius

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