A Baby Bwogger’s guide to the Columbia alphabet.
Hi all! This is your friendly neighborhood freshman here to tell you that I. am. lost. I can’t get through a conversation at Columbia without someone telling me about how the SGA and GSSC got into a conflict over NOMAD auditions and how to get into JJs without a CUID. So, I took all the acronyms I could find and have decided to create a handy dandy guide on all the important acronyms at CU.
SAC- Super active Canines- the dog appreciation club for high energy dog and their loving owners
ARO- artistic renaissance organization – ever want to join the renaissance fair? Want to wear fancy clothes and frolic about the quad? Join ARO to shoot arrows and seek the great perhaps!
NOMADS- are you lost on your way to Lerner? Not quite sure where the Earth Institute is? Nomads is the group of freshman kinds panicking across the quad in confusion. about halfway through the semester, they start a drum circle. It’s kind of inspiring
COOP – The chicken coop on top of Lerner for those farm-fresh JJs omelets. Hidden there because they must be protected at all costs from projectile frisbees
B@B- Boobs at Barnard. It was a 70s free love thing, now more of a place where women lament at the societal obligation to wear bras and why underwire is *never comfy*
CIRCA- Columbia international Reconstructionist Circus Association
CCOTA- Coyote Caution of Trepidatious Alumni- Some Alumni want buildings, some Alumni want scholarships in their names, one excentric Alum decided that what Columbia truly needed was a task force to protect us from feral coyotes. You may say this has no purpose, but I bet you’ve never seen a coyote on campus so….who looks stupid now?
TFOPE- the Florida Of People Entertainers- Ever have a party and you’re just like- you know what this needs? More chaos. More alligator, more “these people seriously decide elections?” Well, we’ve got a resource for you. Invite this club to any dorm party for a guaranteed rager. (TFOPE is not responsible for any physical or emotional damages incurred upon their services, including but not limited to arson, jetski damage, or a log and unavoidable conversation with your 70-year-old great uncle who really wants you to know why he’s voting for Trump)
CSSC – Columbia secret supermajor commission- This is it!!! The major you always wanted! The dream major! Manageable courseload, kind teachers, Oh, nevermind, it was disbanded.
SEAS – Sea enthusiasts aquatic society- really, just like a chill group, the most chill group on campus. When I think of this group of people I just think….laid back, ya know?
CUCR – Columbia University Creative Revolutionaries- a couple of students who *still* think we are going to be surprised by their Les Miserables Flash mob the fifteenth time. Honestly, not even that creative of an acronym. There’s a reason you weren’t Eponine In high school, Charlotte.
CUWRFC- Columbia University without rotund fountains commission- Listen the fountains at Columbia? They’re phallic, an unsettling shade of bronze, and altogether unnecessary. Join forces with this club to make the campus free of innuendo inducing fountainheads.
EEEB- Extroverted Ears Engaged (in) Bach- Do you love talking to people? Do you love the calming sounds of 17th Centruy Musician Johann Sebastian Bach? Join this surprisingly large club of classical music enthusiasts who mostly spend their time talking over the music about being classical music enthusiasts
CULPA- Columbia University Loves Pre-Professional Athletes. No explanation needed
SIPA- Sorority Icepop Popsicle Aggregate- Want to be in a sorority but not have to deal with…being in a sorority? These women just eat ice pops on the quad once a month and are a great gal group. Sounds pretty cool to me!
EESC- Extra-terrestrial Elephant sightings (at) Columbia- A couple of students were on LSD when they swore they saw a UFO come down onto Columbia’s campus. Sure this was a sign from God, nearly a third of the school petitioned to create an official watch schedule to meet the benevolent elephant again. (The 80s were a weird time man) Now the sightings are mostly Roaree from far away or when you meet the occasional Tufts transfer.
CUID – Columbia University Identity Dupers- Hackers gonna hack, man
CUIT- Columbia University Institute of Technology- Listen, kids, when an Ivy League university and a basically Ivy League university love each other very much…… they sometimes have a hidden child. This is that hidden child.
GSSC- Gynecologist’s secret surprise clinic- This is where the aforementioned universities went to ask important questions like. “How can two physical things reproduce” and “I swear the condom just wouldn’t fit! I Have a BIG campus” and “Oh my god do you know how much of the endowment a HIDDEN CHILD is going to cost?”
CUP- this is just a cup. You cannot convince me otherwise. Sometimes it is on the quad, sometimes it is hiding in the stacks, but this cup has been at Columbia since its inception, and therefore deserves a place on this list.
Still confused? Let us know what Columbia acronyms Bwog can help you with next!
Jargon Jumble via Bwog staff