New writers here to inform you that we too don’t know what Bwog is.
The Bwabies (baby Bwoggers) are here, and we have questions. We have confusion. We are mildly concerned we joined a cult (send help). It has been nearly a semester and we are entirely unsure where we are. Thus instituted the Bwaby constitution, our best guess as to what our role is here.
We the (baby) Bwoggers, in order to form an understanding of the Union, establish ourselves, ensure our place on this team, provide shitposts galore, promote the blog and lose followers by the score, secure breaking before the Spec team, realize everyone here is extreme, do ordain, and establish, that we have no idea what we’re doing, for Bwog here at Columbia.
- Bwog is a pulsing mass of every kind of brain out there. Each brain slowly meshes into the larger one. And as a freshman or hopeful Bwogger, you can see your own brain being melted into the hivemind but you don’t want to do anything about it.
- Bwog is a secret society that is awful at secrets. Except maybe really good? Because the best-kept parts of Bwog aren’t revealed until someone dedicates themself to it. you can be a fringe member or a wordy reader in the tips inbox, but it’s not until every aspect of your surroundings is somehow a late-night post or a way to identify students from the different undergrad colleges, that you truly become sworn into the cult of Bwog
- Bwog is just an extension of our Slack channel but on WordPress (which we still can’t figure out send help please.
- Bwog is a fantastic way to procrastinate the work you *should* be doing.
To Quote a great Bwaby: “Every time my mom asks me “what is a Bwog?” I just pretend I can’t hear her. In truth, there is no answer. The entirety of Bwog cannot be confined to a single answer or a single definition. There are complexities. Just like Captain Ahab, we chase the meaning of Bwog to provide significance to our life. We know we will never fully understand Bwog but it is the act of trying that brings us meaning. Right? Right??
We, therefore, with little understanding but great passion, as a constituency of confused thinkers, writers, and Tiktokers, commit ourselves to the Bwaby Pledge of Allegiance.
The Bwaby Pledge of Allegiance:
We pledge allegiance to being intimidated by pitches of the unhinged Bwog upperclassmen, and to the Slack channel, for which it stands, one group of chaotic college students, under Board, with grapes and a hint of lime, for all.
That’s it, that’s all I know from American political literature so I guess we’re out of time. So what is this humble blog? We’re not entirely sure yet, but we’re thrilled to be here.
Photo attribution: Feral Pigeons from Bwog Archives