Hi Friends! Freshies! First years! Congrats you made it! You’re at college and it’s going to be so much fun. Now, I know you didn’t get to have the NSOP of your dreams, but we have an EVEN BETTER orientation week planned for you! YAY!
Ok first off we have the meals. Now, I know you’re so excited to stumble over meal swipes and points, have terrible meal combos, and puke for the fun of it, but consider this super great alternative. You’re locked in your room for the next ten days! Yayyyyyyyyy! Don’t worry, there will be plenty of food and so much sparkling water if you drink enough you will maybe touch off the ground due to excess carbon dioxide!!! Yayyy fun right?
Now, I know you really wanted a tacky lanyard with your name so everyone could know that you’re #newintown and here to make friends, but that’s gonna be a no. instead, have no one recognize you with that mask on, so enjoy endless anonymity. Yayyyyy.
Oh, you heard about the glow party on low steps? That’s so cute! I remember that. Well, that’s definitely canceled, but if you want, you can communicate in morse code with the light in your dorm to someone across the way! Maybe they’re also sad! I know I am! What haha who said that?
Want to get lost on the subway, exploring this great big beautiful city? Please don’t. Instead, try staying in your room and exploring with the birds-eye view feature on google maps! It’s practically the same thing!
Oh, you’re an artsy one, you have a taste for the arts, do you? That’s cute! Well, normally I’d send you to the a capella concert! Nothing more college than that, well except this option: listen to the person in the room next to you crying! Maybe you can cry in harmony! Now that’s what I call music.
Want to get crazy close with some besties for the resties, your floor or NSO group or something? Well, that’s not going to happen, but I do have something else you can do. No, really. Apply for Bwog! You’ll make a quirky, unhinged group of friends there in no time.
welcome!!! via Bwog Archives