An Anonymous Bwog Staffer speed watches ten lectures and lives to tell the tale.
I fucked up. Despite having the social life of an elderly sloth and having actually zero hobbies, I still managed to procrastinate watching my lectures! I stare at the ten unwatched lectures in my Panopto and shudder. But it’s okay. I’m not letting this minor setback faze me. As Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through, keep going.” So, on Saturday, I cried to Phoebe Bridgers, consumed some form of stimulant, put shit on 2x speed, and decided to grind.
10 minutes into double-speed computer science, I begin to reach a state of delirium. The gentle, yet commanding way my professor’s fingers landed on the keyboard made my heart flutter…or maybe I am getting heart palpitations because of stress.
I decide to switch it up and listen to my poli sci lecture. I realize I have forgotten what country this class was supposed to be about. Whatever country it is, they got some messed-up stuff to deal with. I really hope they figure it out.
I alternate between double-speed computer science and double-speed poli sci… is this what a liberal arts education means to me? Big interdisciplinary vibes.
To hype myself up, I go to update my LinkedIn. Under “skills,” I write “capable of performing multiple tasks under time pressure.” I beam with pride.
Observation: comp sci on 2x speed kinda sounds like a very white rapper. Like Logic!
If you think about it, lectures are essentially podcasts. I ponder.
Update: I realize the poli sci lecture is about my own country. I become Very Worried For My Future so I take a Twitter break. I ponder taking a gap year to explore Twitter Activism.
I often see myself as a walking contradiction, as I am both hot and a CS major. However, today, as I grind through the sixth CS lecture, I realize that I may be hot, but will no longer be a CS major.
I continue watching. Soon, I feel as if I am floating in a sea of knowledge. Maybe it’s because I am peeing myself.
dark circles via flickr