Bwog ponders the origins of the terrible smell behind Carman.

I’ve smelled it. You’ve smelled it. On the way back from Ferris. Entering Broadway. Going to the lovely biweekly farmer’s market. Carman smells terrible, like, indescribably bad. So bad that any student on campus knows exactly what this article is talking about. So bad that I have begun planning my routes just so that I can avoid the 20 feet of nasty at the corner of 114th and Broadway.

But what’s causing this terrible horrible stench? Here are some theories:

  • Carman party jungle juice stagnating because of the visitor ban
  • Leftover Ferris spa water
  • All the extra snot from the testing center nose swabs
  • Mold forming on Ferris’ unused upstairs seating area
  • Similarly, the sticky-sweaty floor of Ferris’ upstairs seating area that no one has checked since COVID-19 started
  • The putrid tears of Carman athletes who are suffering from party withdrawal
  • A rat and/or cockroach infestation on top of the ever-present scaffolding
  • Columbia is actually working on a test for COVID symptoms like loss of smell, and they’re preemptively testing it on first years
  • The souls of the damned screaming for help from hell
  • Stress-sweat runoff from Butler
  • A real life fluid flow word problem for all the engineers on campus: Treated as an ideal gas at stp, how long will it take for the concentration of stank to fall below 0.5 mols/cubic meter?
  • Someone’s chem lab assignment. B-
  • Condensation from the Beta basement — you know how nasty that basement gets when there’s a party
  • Prezbo’s morning coffee

luckily unscented Carman looming over campus via Bwarchives