In the heart of finals season, Bwog is here to tell you how not to study.

Finals. What a time. All of the libraries are full of stressed students grinding away on essays and projects and cramming for tests. Everyone seems to be buried in a book or a problem set. Everyone but you, that is. You can’t put your phone down. You just can’t bear to get through those last few pages, slides, or problems, so you’re procrastinating.

Well, my friend, so am I. So is pretty much all of Bwog’s staff. So in case you need some more ideas for how not to get shit done, this is how Bwog procrastinates.

Sometimes we go to the library. But, just because we’re surrounded by productive people doesn’t mean that includes us. Some of us prefer to spend a little too much time roaming the libraries’ many rooms and nooks in search of the perfect seat.

We also do other “productive” things to procrastinate. A bunch of Bwoggers apparently spend a ton of time writing detailed course reviews in order to put off doing their work. Others take the time to clean every inch of their dorm rooms. We ordered Christmas gifts for our loved ones and went to our friends’ dorms’ lounges to “study” (hang out). One Bwogger checked his email on his phone while it was already open on his laptop.

Bwog also procrastinates through Bwog. We obsessively check our Bwog slack channels and read every new article. We go through the archives of years worth of shitposts and news. 

Aside from all of these activities, some Bwoggers procrastinated in ways that fit into no clear categories, so here’s a list of what we did:

  • One Bwogger looked for old Dropbox login credentials to search for an article they cited in a speech a high schooler gave in 2018. Just because they were curious. Didn’t find it.
  • Making really elaborate brussels sprout dishes
  • Calling their mom and complaining about how much work they have to do (rather than doing said work)
  • Trying to listen to music while working but getting distracted by it
  • Opening and reading every email they get as soon as they get it to take a mini-break from studying
  • Making a cute little Sims house
  • Picking out an outfit for the day and telling themselves: “I’ll feel better about being in the library all day if I look put together”
  • In high school, one Bwogger procrastinated by going on dates with this one guy.
  • Getting too drunk on a weeknight
  • Finding random social media accounts to spend hours scrolling through: duck videos? Rock style drumming to classical music? Sounds better than studying.
  • Creating a list of derogatory names for their brain
  • Getting COVID-19 and having fever-induced hallucinations that physically impair them from doing work 
  • Nervously refreshing every COVID-19 data tracker
  • Helping their roommate chip ice from the inside of their fridge
  • Looking through tattoos and planning more
  • Online shopping
  • Drugs

Put Your Phone Down and Study via Bwog Archives