This semester has been marked by many ups (I’m assuming for some people) and downs (that’s more like it.) No matter how bad it got, though, nothing kept me up at night quite like the cringe-worthy interactions I had with professors this semester.
Please enjoy this compilation of the worst student/teacher interactions we’ve had as a Bwog in Fall 2021.
Back To School Jitters
The start of classes this year was stressful for everyone, professors and students alike. After all, it was our first time back in classrooms with living, breathing (heavily) human beings! So I can’t blame the professor of a certain 8:40 am Intro to American Politics lecture for obsessively readjusting his hair in the bathroom 10 minutes class started on day one. I can, however, blame the Bwogger who thought it appropriate to interrupt the poor green-gilled guy’s pregame routine by smugly saying “Don’t worry, you look fantastic!”
In our Bwogger’s defense, this professor does have an exceptionally youthful appearance and the staffer thought he was a student narcissistically thinking way more people would look at him on the first day. In reality, hundreds of students did stare at the pedagogue during his ensuing lecture. But the professor only stared daggers back at one.
As the semester entered its first few weeks and we got to know our professors a little better, it became apparent that some of them sucked. Hard. Spending four months dealing with their inconsistencies, God-complexes, and stupid fedoras wasn’t going to be easy. But we found solace complaining quietly and privately to our friends about our least-favorite professors behind their backs. Unless you’re this Bwogger, who decided to do so loudly, publicly, and right in front of them. Of course, Dr. REDACTED just had to leave the subway right as they were passing by. Even worse, none of the criticism was even taken to heart! It was a blast to write that course eval, though.
Every once in a blue moon, we luck out with some really cool professor who inspires us to do our best but in a super relaxed casual kind of way. And all we wanna do is impress them. Usually, this results in reading more closely, writing better papers, and contributing to class discussions in novel and interesting ways. But we here at Bwog take a different approach and try instead to make the suave professor-of-the-people think we are as weird as physically possible. That’s the approach this Bwogger took when he found himself in line for the bathroom with the young MusicHum instructor who everyone is pretty sure plays guitar in a ska band. Their interaction went something like this:
CoolProf: Hey bro.
Bwogger: Omg hi, fancy running into you here!
CoolProf: Ha, yeah. Waiting to use the bathroom?
Bwogger: Nah, I just like to watch.
They then proceeded to wait together for another three-and-a-half minutes. In agonizing silence.
Fun With French
As we approached Fall Break, it seemed all anyone could talk about was stuffing their face with mashed potatoes and turkey. That was the experience of this Bwogger, at least, when he ran into his French professor outside of class one day in mid-November. Of course, Madame Professeure insisted on speaking in French. Below is a translated transcript of their conversation, from both perspectives.
According to Bwogger:
Madame Professeure: Hello!
Madame Professeure: You have plans for the holiday break?
Madame Professeure: That sounds like it will be very fun.
Bwogger: And you?
Madame Professeure: I plan to relax during the holiday break.
Bwogger: Good to have seen you!
Madame Professeure: Goodbye!
According to Madame Professeure:
Madame Professeure: Hello!
Madame Professeure: You are having trouble in my class, right?
Madame Professeure: I am beginning to get worried that you understand very little.
Bwogger: And you?
Madame Professeure: This is what I mean, that doesn’t make any sense.
Madame Professeure: Mon Dieu!
Finally, as the dark days of the year loomed overhead, the temptation to use the pandemic card became too great for many students. Attendance rates plummeted as many students contracted legitimate illnesses, and many more pretended to be sick to avoid their responsibilities for a short while. This Bwogger falls squarely into the latter category. After emailing his professor tales of his horrific, eye-splitting, ear-shattering, soul-crushing headache that meant he absolutely could not, under any circumstances, leave his dorm, he relaxed. Then he went to Butler to write the essay that had been due that day in class. He was feeling super productive for doing any work at all during his vacation when his professor sat down next to him. And began to grade the papers he had skipped class to get out of. Needless to say, he switched out of that particular section for next semester.
mood survey via pxhere