It’s time for a New Normal at Columbia.
The Citizens Advice Bureau has recently announced its recommendations for revamping major programs at Columbia. The Bureau began work on the project in 2019, when John Stamos starred in the made-for-TV movie Little Mermaid Live!.
The last time Columbia updated its major requirements was in 1482. Various campus groups say that Columbia students deserve better. It is time, these groups say, that Columbia update its major requirements for the third millennium.
The report, which can be found here, is partially summarized in the following list.
Note that each major program is followed by the Bureau’s suggested rule change.
Math courses should be forbidden from discussing all numbers above 15.
All averages in statistics courses should be zero, all standard deviations should be one, and all distributions should be normal.
Courses in the History Department should only cover the year 1964, the year of the 1964 World’s Fair.
4. Urban Planning
Urban Planning courses should fulfill the PE requirement.
Hydrology courses should no longer take place on boats.
The Bureau hopes that its changes will be implemented within the next five years.
Planet Claremont via Bwog Archive
Meeting via Pixabay
Meeting 2 via Pixabay
Numbers via Pixabay
Graphs via Pixabay
History via Wikimedia Commons
Urban Plan via Wikimedia Commons
Stream via Wikimedia Commons
@Harold Smithson Jenningst CC ’49 Dear BROG,
I have been an active reader of this news paper since 2014 (when my grandson, Harold, showed me the article “Bwoglines”), and I must say, you have really outdone yourself with this article!
Just think about it: a Hydrology major?
Ha! I just looked through the Columbia Brulletin and saw that Columbia does not even have a Hydrology major. Brilliant!
As always, thank you for the wonderful articles, and I wish your family a wonderful Presidents’ Day week.
Harold Smithson Jenningst CC ’49
@Anonymous Thank you Bwog, very cool!
@Anonymous Stupid post.
@Anonymous Really dumb.