May God rest her soul.

Furnald Lawn Let’s be real, it’s the nicest of the south lawns. A lawn fit for royalty.

Morton Williams Cellar – The real catacombs of Columbia University. Mysterious things happen at the bottom of those dark stairs.

Earl Hall – Maybe this building will have a purpose now.

Tunnels – The radiation will keep her well-preserved.

The McBain Shaft – The sun may never set on the British Empire, but the sun never shines in the shaft.

Wien Mail Center – This is as close to purgatory as you can get without actually dying.

Mid-Block Book Culture – Only the best for Her Royal Highness.

One of the Broadway Malls – The little patches of grass on Broadway are absolutely useless eyesores. Let’s bury the former monarch of the largest empire in the world there.

125th/Lasalle Street Liquor Store – An iconic resting spot for an iconic gal. In honor of the many times Lasalle has been the cause of me dying during a night out.

Get rid of Grant and replace him with the Queen – Our campus conveniently already has a huge fancy tomb nearby. Out with the old, in with the new. Grant is, like, so 19th century.

Viking funeral in Dodge pool – Give the old lady a proper sendoff: explosions, fireworks, billowing flame, the whole thing. If anything, it’ll make Pupin smell even weirder.

Viking funeral in a penis fountain – Maybe a little less classy, but a whole lot more fun than Dodge.

Barnard Greenhouse – Fertilizing an HWC flower garden with your body is nothing short of a feminist slay.

Grass via Wikimedia Commons, Queen also via Wikimedia Commons