Staff Writers and roommates Viviana Pereyó and Emma Burris reveal their spacious Brooks Hall oasis.

You’ve heard the rumors. The whispers in the bathroom, on the staircase, in the laundry room: “Is it true? Does it really exist? How did they find it?”

Well, folks—we’re here to confirm it. Yes, we’re hiding an interdimensional wormhole in our dorm. A pathway to Narnia. The Eighth Wonder of the World. An endless liminal space surpassing all pathetic definitions of “space” and “time.” A country beyond that of the feeble human race.

Time flows differently here. The lights flicker. Your limbs bend and twist, readjusting to the cosmic demands of this infinite underground space. Muffled music presses against the soft cotton drapery. Forever dusk.

We pity you. We know you can’t even begin to understand the weight of what lies beneath Vivi’s bed. It lies beyond your primitive understanding. Beyond your pathetic social constructs and the expectations of your so called “society.” So, we trained a group of the world’s bravest to undergo an expedition to capture the first photographs of this interdimensional space. Our team entered with the understanding that they may never return. Yet, their dedication to the expansion of human knowledge was more powerful than their existential instincts. While our team is unlikely to return to their humble Earth in one piece, we rest knowing that their pursuits were fulfilled.

Lo! We’ve received a signal from one of our cosmic travelers, LISA-09. The full text of their message has been coded and represented below:

The space under Viviana’s bed rivals the allure of the Empire State Building or Rockefeller Center. It is a symbol of New York City life because, like New York City, it is slightly dusty, always has odd music playing, and has too many lights. While the Statue of Liberty attracts naive foreigners and Rockefeller attracts those searching for Christmas nostalgia, the underneath of Viviana’s bed attracts creeps and weirdos.

To keep things fair, we’ve also recorded a response to this transmission that may give our readers a more…let’s call it…well-rounded perspective. Here’s a signal we received from traveler VIVI-07:

Now. Personally, I wouldn’t put it behind LISA-09 to be the most fair source when it comes to good music. I’ve seen the MCR shirts. Leave me, Mitski, and Imagine Dragons alone. The area under my bed is super awesome and cool and you are at a large risk of hearing me listening to Radiohead at full volume with zero self awareness at any given moment. I have a large selection (chocolate-covered fruit and dried fruit) selection of snacks (this is a lie I have not once shared them) just for you! Nevertheless, you are welcome to try your luck! Stealing may be illegal but our doors are always open and none of us are very fast. 

Oh! Is that another transmission I hear? From…EMMA-04?

Beep boop. Boop boop beep. Beep! Let me put that in kinder words: LISA-09 has no right to be on this expedition, given that they don’t even live on our floor. Go open up your own interdimensional wormhole! However, VIVI-07 should buckle up and deal with the consequences of her actions for a change. We know what you did to the fifth member of Weezer. You can’t hide him forever. Why don’t you tell us about001010110101010101101

Incoming transmission from…VIVI-07?

We agreed not to mention that.

01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00001010

There you have it. The first series of communications sent across dimensions. One small step for Brooks Hall, one giant leap for mankind.

Under Vivi’s Bed via Staff Writer Emma Burris

All Interdimensional Photos via Staff Writer Emma Burris