Let the games begin!

Shopping period is a stressful time, and it seems that feeling is not exclusive to students on triple-digit waitlists. Professors feel the pressure, but as they’re the ones speaking for an hour or more it manifests in much more obvious ways. And here at Bwog, we like to record that. So, much like previous semesters, Bwog has compiled some of the outlandish and absurd Professor quotes. 

From Anonymous Professors:

  • “Please scream at me.”
  • “Mathematics is not a spectator sport.”
  • (Guiding students through a map of Death Valley) “Are you familar with Charles Manson?”
  • “And i was just throwing around this cat.”
  • “I will often lie to you.”
  • “See me in office hours” (in a most menacing tone).

Professor Adam Cannon, Intro To Computer Science Java): 

  • “Above you, there’s a number. A number of hours that you’re gonna be frustrated and cursing me this semester.”
  • “It’s okay to steal from the government, cheat on your taxes…”
  • “There’s a problem with white dudes that culturally we’re just brought up to be full of shit. And then occasionally you get someone like Elizabeth Holmes, who takes on the white dude persona. She’s a classic white dude.”
  • “Java is marketable, so you can make lots of money and we can ask you for it after you graduate.”

Professor Jeffrey Lax, Logic of Collective Action:

  • (at 10:10 on Wednesday) “Columbia just announced their new president, didn’t they? Will I like it?” *people say “yeah/maybe”* “Is it me?”
  • “Here are all the reasons not to take this class” *he proceeds to read out some of his negative CULPA reviews* “You know, some professors don’t read their reviews? They’re missing out on this form of high literature.”

Natural Language Processing:

  • Professor using ChatGPT to write a poem about the waitlist.

Professor Michael Shaevitz, General Physics II:

  • Kept on accidentally shocking himself on an electrostatic generator :(

From a Computer Science Lecture:

The Thinker via Bwarchives