Art history, but make it a bit silly.

Elaine and Rory are no ordinary art enthusiasts… we are, what some may call, “creative” in our interpretations of certain pieces. Over the weekend, we conquered the labyrinth otherwise known as the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Ever heard of it? We scoured the museum for the most beautiful, classic, and relevant pieces of high art. What were the criteria we were looking for, you might ask? The pieces which embody Barnumbia student life, of course! Below you will find the fifteen most relevant pieces of art and their new names for the Barnumbia student collective…according to us. 

Beginning our journey, (after taking a million years to find the entrance we were looking for) we found works which touch the most intimate part of a student’s psyche: dorm living. The commuters among us and those lucky enough to live off campus could never truly understand the following three works. But for all others, if you say this has never been your life before, we know you’re lying:

1. Us In The Communal Bathrooms

2. My Roommate Watching Me Wake Up At 3PM

3. Me Applying Lotion After The Shower When My Roommate Walks In

Now, after a long Halloweekend, we are almost certain everyone can relate to the next image. Praying for all of you out there on the longest Monday of the year. Stay strong, stay brave, stay bold, and stay Barnard:

4. Me Post Halloweekend

Us writers are especially passionate about a certain dining hall’s breakfast…and we think all of you should be too. You know her, you love her… and she has fresh fruit (a rarity):

5. Me With My Hewitt Breakfast

We plead the fifth with the next image and caption. No comments will be given to the media at this time:

6. Columbia Men To Barnard Women

Walking into the Dodge Fitness Center, you will most likely see three things: an intense squash tournament happening, the sweatiest people in the world, and Barnard freshman attempting to complete their physical education requirement through yoga. Below is such an accurate depiction of these students, it’s almost like we were really there taking their photo in class:

7. Freshman Yoga

We realized no Bwog art post would be complete without an ode to our favorite place on campus. They host jazz, nights, poetry readings, and serve as a safe space for Barnumbia’s most pretentious (don’t worry, we are too) population: 

8. ADP

Fall break is coming up, and it’s time to purchase those Metro North tickets to Poughkeepsie. This is how we feel when we see trees– and possibly even animals that aren’t squirrels, rats, or raccoons:

9. Me And My Girls Heading Upstate For The Weekend

As we enter the time of year where love flourishes (NYC winter), the Barnumbia student body is looking for their future partners…or at least someone to go ice skating with in Central Park. The Marriage Pact recently sent out their matches, or in some cases, lack thereof:

10. Me Waiting For My Marriage Pact Results

11. Me When I Don’t Get Matched In The Marriage Pact

And of course, we are Not Throwing Away Our Shot… to reference the founding fathers:

12. Typical Columbia Alumni

Ever felt like you were in need of an emotional support animal but are allergic to cats? We raise you, kidnapping a Riverside Park squirrel:

13. Me And The Riverside Park Squirrels

As this article sadly comes to an end, us bwabies want to extend our gratitude to our beautiful bwigs through Byzantine era art (and the birth of Christ):

14. Bwog Upperclassmen And Their Bwabies

You know you love us, XOXO Bwog

15. Bwog And The Columbia Student Body

Images via Authors & The Met