As Bwog reminisces on our personal Thanksgiving meals, we bring you a compilation of what we (sadly) endured this year. 

Thanksgiving is arguably the most chaotic, dramatic, and messiest holiday. We brace ourselves for the worst as we gather with our families and/or friends. Will there be a culinary disaster or a family secret revealed? As Bwog reminisces on our personal Thanksgiving meals, we bring you a compilation of what we (sadly) endured this year. 

“Somehow, we managed to cook the turkey entirely upside-down and did not notice until someone mentioned they had “never seen a turkey like that before” when pulling it out of the oven. Still tasted fine, though.” 

“My family wanted to eat at a Chinese lauriat for Thanksgiving, but every single lauriat restaurant in Chinatown, Brooklyn, was reserved for a wedding. We ended up getting takeout at a Vietnamese restaurant instead.”

“Apparently, plumbers get the most calls on Black Friday, which was true for my family this year. On Thanksgiving, the water from our second-floor shower leaked. The most sensational leaking spot was the ceiling fan in my living room—water (seeping through the cracks in the plaster) was cascading down the lights. Sorta like those fountain spouts in water theme parks. But worse.”

“I listened to my great uncle describe gout across the thanksgiving table. He was monologuing. That wasn’t very fun for me, personally.”

“My 80-year-old grandma decided to drop the super fun little tidbit that in her twenties she was a Las Vegas showgirl and was what she called “the flier” which meant they hooked her up to a pulley system and had her fly out over the crowd almost completely naked. So, I have that image forever!”

“The heat in my house chose not to work the day of Thanksgiving, so we had to emergency call the heating company so we weren’t freezing our asses off while cooking for our whole family.”

“My cousin got drunk and asked my parents if they had any weed (no, they do not???), and then he yelled, “WHERE THE WEED AT???”

“My brother accidentally dropped his vape on the ground during dinner and had to chase after it to prevent our dog from eating it, therefore exposing it to our extended family. My grandfather then asked to try said vape.”

“We did 2 truths and a lie of what we’re thankful for.”

“My ritzy aunt and uncle hosted Thanksgiving for the first time, and instead of making normal dressing (my absolute favorite Thanksgiving food), they were like “oooooh, this is pizza dressing.” It was dry and didn’t taste like anything. Just make normal food.”

“Spent like three hours pressing pizzelles… My shoulders are literally still sore, and I only got through half the dough. We had to freeze the rest.” 

We hope our tales provide you with some comradery or maybe even make you feel better about your own Thanksgiving experience. With that, we raise a toast to next November and the drama it will inevitably bring.

Thanksgiving Dinner via iStock