Valentine’s Day approacheth! Today’s Columbians looking for love are Justin Birmingham, Brittany Portman, and Pupin. If you want to take any one of these awesome humans/ buildings on a date, email us and we’ll set it up (and give you ten whole dollars to take ‘em out). But sorry guys, we’re just toooooo popular — we’ve received enough submissions, so we won’t be accepting any new personals after this point.

Justin Birmingham

Name, Year, School, Major: Justin Birmingham, SEAS ’15, Mechanical Engineering, Music Minor

Preference: M 4 F

Hometown: Clinton, NJ, AKA Farmers and Subdevelopments

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: Waiting in line for some bougie nightclub

What redeems you as a human being? I can sing, I’m süper öutdoörsy, and I fix things for the greater good

 Library room of choice: 69+69+69+the 2 of us = 209 ;)

Beverage of choice: Salsa? No, Sriracha

Guilty Pleasure Song: John Mayer may be an asshole but I think he’s a great musician

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Obviously Greenborough, that place rules

Historical Hottie: Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day

Brittany Portman

Name, Year, School, Major: Brittany Portman, BC ’14, Film Studies

Preference: Girl for a Guy

Hometown: NYC!!!

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: It’s explained in a movie that I made which is in the next question. It’s basically about when on a first date or when you first meet a guy that they automatically want to sleep with you.

What redeems you as a human being? I make movies!!

 Library room of choice: BUTLER 209

Beverage of choice: Diet Coke!! Always :)

Guilty Pleasure Song: Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Many things!! Usually with friends or going to karaoke OR seeing a Broadway show.

Historical Hottie: ALADDIN!! I know most people wouldn’t think Aladdin is historical BUT the story is an old folk tale so in that sense it counts. :)

Pupin

Name, Year, School, Major: Pupin (“Pyoo-pin,” not “Poo-pin” or “Pu-peen”), CC, 1927, Physics

Preference (guy for guy, etc): Nobel Prize winners exclusively.

Hometown: The depths of hell.

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “Let’s meet at Joe’s.”

What redeems you as a human being building? The Manhattan Project. A valiant effort to host stargazing nights from the roof despite the NYC light pollution.

Library room of choice: They closed my library :(

Beverage of choice: I’ve been experimenting with home brewing. Trying to create the perfect beer.

Guilty pleasure song: Under Pressure. But I liked it before Vanilla Ice ruined the beat.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? That’s a government secret.

Historical Hottie: Oppenheimer.