In a university-wide e-mail, PrezBo has announced that Gerald Rosberg will be Columbia’s new Senior Executive Vice President starting July. Who is the Senior Executive Vice President? Well, he is replacing Robert Kasdin, who left the position to go to Johns Hopkins. Kasdin, described by many as the right hand man to PrezBo, had been […]

We’ve all had that moment: you’re looking in the mirror, examining your bedraggled second-semester face, and you have that thought: Why don’t I look like Ben Stiller in Night at the Museum, during his prime?? Well, unfortunately, you’re stuck with that embittered mug until you die (or earn enough to get the lines etched into your […]

Day three of Reading Week, and the livin’ is easy. Just joking, we’re all dying. Just remember: your week isn’t going as badly as Ted Cruz’s is! And you don’t even have to kill all those people–being the Zodiac Killer must be hard work… Bwogline: If you haven’t been listening to Beyonce’s Lemonade on repeat this entire […]

Sure, when you didn’t fill out your course evals earlier tonight, we thought you were at 1020 and just couldn’t do it. Even at 3 AM, we thought, hey, maybe they’re still out trying to have a fun night, who are we to remind them about something so extraneous but simple. But it’s 5 AM […]

Hey, you haven’t done your course evaluations yet. We reminded you about three hours ago, but you must not have seen it…right? You didn’t see that reminder, did you? Yeah, of course—what are we saying! You’re still at 1020, enjoying a second night off during Reading Week. That’s why we just want to remind you again […]

Hey guys, we know that finals are among us and if you’re not passed out, in a booth at 1020, trying to study, or doing some mixture of the three, you should fill out your course evaluations. While the evals will appear “anonymous” to your professors, they can still read what you write. So don’t go […]

USenator, Loyal Friend, and feckless comment-reader Marc Heinrich wants to endow you procrastinators with some wisdom. He talks work-life balance, leadership, and asbestos, among other topics. Check out our other wisdoms for more ruminations. Name, School, Major, Hometown: Marc Heinrich, Columbia College, Political Science & History, New York, NY Claim to fame: University Senator, AEPi […]

It’s Reading Week, you’re looking through your notes, and you realize much of what you scribbled down is illegible, strange, or undecipherable. Even more of it is just amusing. Below are some of your classmates’ notes, which are by turns sad, excited, mean, and strangely enough, helpful.  Life Mottos “Mitochondria Are the Powerhouse of the […]

Still scribbling out her thesis, Barnard senior and “self-hating Jew” Eva Kalikoff took a few minutes to share some thoughts about activism, sushi, and Senior Scramble. Let her wisdom blow you away, and peruse our library of knowledge at your leisure.  Name, School, Major, Hometown: Eva Kalikoff, Barnard College, Comparative Literature, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY Claim to fame: I […]

Live At Lerner presents Final Sounds: Alpenglow today from 1 to 2 pm in the Lerner Piano Lounge. If you haven’t been keeping up, Live At Lerner is a live performance series that has featured both established and up-and-coming artists all year, mostly in the Piano Lounge, but occasionally outdoors; they’ve had a pretty good […]

It’s Day 2 of Reading Week! We know you probably don’t believe in yourself but that’s okay, because we have enough faith in you to power Butler for an entire week. Get out of bed, go to that study group, write 6 pages of your paper, and smash that mf final! Alternatively, listen to mopey […]

In our next Senior Wisdom, Hannah Cohen discusses being named after a Hebrew alcoholic and why becoming dependent on substances is not a great thing. Plus some stuff about finding yourself, true self knowledge, and just plain out connecting with other members of the Columbia community. Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hannah Jane Cohen, CC, Earth […]

While Butler reeks of stress and procrastination (and also genuine butt), CUMB has perfumed our moods with some comedic relief by releasing some of the second round of Orgo Night posters. There is a notable absence of highly offensive jokes–are CUMB and controversy on a hiatus? Regardless, we’re sure they’ll be back together this Thursday at 11:59 […]

The sage soliciting of Senior Wisdoms continues as Freida Steiner, who we can (sarcastically) say salivates over an inferior and less savory Diana pizza, shares a sample of her seeds of sagacity.  Name, School, Major, Hometown: Freida Steiner // Barnard // Sociology // Ann Arbor, MI (Go Blue!) Claim to fame: You ran into me in the Diana/Liz’s Place at […]

It’s finally finals season, a time of reckoning, a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to—well, you get the idea. It’s not great, by any means, and if you’re anything like us, each of your six professors expects 30% of your total time and […]