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Primal Scream Your Heart Out

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2013 3 Comments

Last night y’all screamed for Primal Scream, one of the few traditions we keep up here at this fine university, along with losing our minds during finals seasons, writing weirdly aggressive passive aggressive notes, and misplacing brownstones. This year, the Class of 2014 attempted a new tradition, with about 30 seniors gathering at Alma to […]

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Senior Wisdom: Kyla Cheung

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2013 16 Comments

In our continuing series of midyear Senior Wisdoms for midyear graduates, we bring you Kyla Cheung, who’s been working on her Senior Wisdom for years. Seriously. Name, Hometown, School: Kyla, Jersey, Barnumbia Claim to fame? Ha, “fame.” Mmhm. Okay. I suspect I got nominated for this because I started writing parts of this Senior Wisdom years ago. […]

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Day In The Life: Sophomore Needs Closure, Likes Editing

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2013 2 Comments

While our past staffer schedules have revolved around our rather unproductive weekends, Senior Staff Writer Julia Goodman brings the Class of 2018 her average Monday. 7:00 am: My alarm goes off. Ugh…five more minutes… 7:05 am: My alarm goes off again. 7:10 am: And again. 7:15 am: And again. Time for the most difficult decision […]

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Bwog in Bed: The Beginning of the End

By Bwog Staff on Dec 16, 2013 0 Comments

Whether today is your ticket to freedom or the beginning of a new wave of finals, Bwog invites you to hop in bed with us for a few minutes before you start your Monday. Oh, you thought we meant that in a sexual way? Get your mind out of the gutter. This is about cuddling […]

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BwogSex: Copulating in the Crypt

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 8 Comments

Some of you more cultured Bwoggers may have heard of this thing called Columbia Admirers. The on-again, off-again, on-again (limited time offer) Facebook page has been the subject of many anonymous confessions and declarations of “dat ass.” Today BwogSex and Columbia Admirers brings you a story of daring heroics and steamy finishes. As always, send in any and all […]

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How Hard Is Your…Paper?

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 6 Comments

In honor of all the papers being written this week (inb4 SEAS complaints—we know, we know! You’re working much harder than all of us combined!) paired together with the extreme thirst apparent on CU Admirers, let’s talk about sex. We’ve already determined how CC and LitHum authors are in bed, but how about us lowly […]

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Actual Wisdom: Bruce Robbins

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 7 Comments

For today’s Actual Wisdom, we have Bruce Robbins, of previous and expansive Bwog fame. You know it’s a good sign when they already have a Bwog tag to their name. Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Justify my existence? Can’t be done. When people all around me are getting stonewalled or downsized, why […]

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Primal Scream for Noobs

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 1 Comments

If all you wanna do is scream, here’s how to do it. Reposted for your auditory pleasure, the extra-comprehensive guide on letting it loose. Finals got you down? Then you can verbally vent your frustrations by participating in the Primal Scream. The guide for noobs: If your clock or watch is not auto-synced to the […]

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Drawing a Blank

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 82 Comments

Update, 8:30 pm Parida sends us this follow-up message to you, dear readers, to clarify your questions/concerns/finals-induced-rants: “Hey guys this was a joke. I turned it in and then turned in a real assignment afterwards. Good luck on your finals. Don’t do what you thought I did. That would be bad.” Parida, CC ’15, submitted four […]

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Senior Wisdom: Kendall Tucker

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 16 Comments

Name, Hometown, School: Kendall Hope Tucker, Sudbury Massachusetts, Columbia College Claim to fame? President of the Roosevelt Institute, perpetual freshman, person who won’t stop gloating about the Red Sox Where are you going? Home with a few stops on the way! First Israel, then DC for a few months (where I’ll be working at a start-up tech firm). […]

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Day In The Life: Staffer Drinks All Of The Water

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 15 Comments

For the next couple of days Bwog will be unrolling our daily schedules to give the ED admits to the Class of 2018 a slightly…different…view of the typical Columbian. Up today, another anonymous staffer details her usual Sunday. 1:02 pm: Roll out of bed and vow never to drink again. I chug an entire Nalgene of water […]

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Bwog Got Its Own TLC Show

By Bwog Staff on Dec 15, 2013 0 Comments

We all know that everyone is scraping along those final dollars until you go home and make your parents buy your coffee for you subsidize your spending needs. Also, it can be a little embarrassing to go home to mom and only bring home a couple disappointing C’s and new notches on your belt. To […]

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Orgo Night: Back In The But

Bwog Staff 1

how the hell do you smuggle a giant drum past the metal detectors
it's a hanukkah miracle
next year in 209
orgo night
too soon?
we're masturbatory af but at least we own it

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The Albums That Defined Our Semester

Zack Abrams 2

all of these are such great choices *cough* except reputation *cough*
im basically a seas student
look at all those embeds
melodrama obviously the right answer
the goat

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Barnard President Sian Beilock Gives Update On Diversity And Inclusion Task Force

Abby Rubel 0

and the orgo night script said beilock hasn't done anything!
barnard
creating a new administrative position is actually pretty cool
task force on diversity and inclusion

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Ferris Forever? Only If You Sign Out….

Aliya Schneider 4

breakfast clubs broken up across colleges
ferrisfornever
heartbroken
hurt
i didn't even know what time it was
i had to write the time I was putting my plate at the outlet counter right outside
maybe they should have thought this through before instilling this culture
she just wanted more eggs
shook
witnessed my innocent friend get yelled at

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Bwog In Bed: You Must Pay $5.99 To View This Content Edition

Zack Abrams 0

check out our orgo night review coming later today
don't wanna fall in love off of subtweets
i should be studying but im doing this so yall better appreciate me
send nudes? really? that the best you got?

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Orgo Night Script Is Out

Bwog Staff 0

209 was rowdy tonight
back in the but
cumb delivered!
home sweet home
orgo night yo

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BREAKING: Important Message From The CU Marching Band

Bwog Staff 0

administration
cumb
orgo night
orgo night is in 209
suck it
wooooo

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An Unofficial Ranking Of Frat Party Jungle Juices

Bwog Staff 0

beta jungle juice is nasty
dads <3 dsig
fuck kool-aid
i just hate the color
lmaoooo

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