Here are the weirdest and most memorable things we heard from the first week of classes, in our semesterly opening remarks compilation.
Professors are bursting at the seams (and mouths) with excitement to be back in the classroom—send us all the lines they use to make their course seem fun and cool before the shopping period is over.
Hate Letter: Prices at Ivy League Stationers & Printers
April 7, 2026Roommate’s Brother: An Ethnographic Study Of A Friendly Modern Mullet
March 26, 2026Student Journalism Roundtable: A Conversation With Barnard Senior Administration
March 24, 2026The “Corporate Slop Bowl”-ification Of Columbia Dining
March 23, 2026