Here are the weirdest and most memorable things we heard from the first week of classes, in our semesterly opening remarks compilation.
Professors are bursting at the seams (and mouths) with excitement to be back in the classroom—send us all the lines they use to make their course seem fun and cool before the shopping period is over.
Midterms Are Over, So Take A Fucking Nap
April 14, 2025Why Are All the Doors So Damn Heavy
April 14, 2025Formula 1 Drivers As Barnumbia Majors
April 9, 2025How To Walk Manhattan Tip To Tip: A 10 Hour Adventure
April 8, 2025