Written by Amara Banks
September 26, 20175:09 pm 1 Comments
I left the package center yesterday with a friend who would ordinarily eat me, but actually turned out to be pretty chill.
Getting a package between classes seems convenient in theory, but always results in being a pain. Why? Because literally everyone else in the Diana thinks that they too can just dash down to the basement and grab their latest Amazon expenditure without it taking a whole ass hour. I play myself every time, making it to the basement moments after everyone else has had the same bright idea. Yesterday was no exception; by the time I got there, the line was snaking around Altschul. My next class was canceled though, so I wasn’t as frustrated as the rest of my line-mates. While they sighed and rubbernecked the afternoon away, I pulled out my headphones for some Toro y Moi.
The line hadn’t moved at all for several minutes, while usually a common expectation for an afternoon in the package center, something seemed off. I took out one headphone and heard it. I couldn’t believe my ears. Could it really be…… on this fine Monday afternoon…….. that there was a GORILLA in the package center? I couldn’t help it– I craned my next to get a view of what was behind the yellow desk. A screaming six-foot-tall cardboard box violently shook back and forth. I almost wanted to believe one of the workers was playing a joke on us, or that the box was alive. But I knew better. There was a gorilla in that box!
A gorilla in the box!
Tags: bwog baby daddy, clicks out for harambe, horror story, justice for harambe, package center trip gone RIGHT, u can still rush bwog, we have a baby mama now but dont have an actual kid, who gave me access to this site, who owns this gorilla
Written by Ross Chapman
September 26, 20173:56 pm 0 Comments
“So are you gonna be a potato, or are you gonna man up, and be the egg!?”
If you didn’t hear the news, the Columbia Football team has a two game winning streak! Bwogger Ross Chapman investigates, looking uncover the secret to Columbia’s success on the field.
The Columbia Football team has won its first two games, a feat not achieved since 2006. Analysts would be wise to try to explain the phenomenon. Are the Lions winning thanks to Coach Bagnoli’s Class of 2020 recruiting? Was Columbia’s victory over the Hoyas thanks to Josh Bean, the mysterious first-year quarterback who’s unstoppable during short-yardage QB runs (but never appears anywhere else)? Were the boys in blue victorious only due to Georgetown’s inability to capitalize on Columbia’s failure to prevent big passes to the outside? While these could all merit their own articles, I believe there is a more relevant force at work here.
I’m talking, of course, about the @ColumbiaLionsFB Twitter account.
Columbia Athletics Twitter are no strangers to Bwog. But a mysterious change has overtaken the Football account specifically. Starting on July 11th, 2016, Columbia Football provided us with #MondayMotivation nearly every week during the season. The longest chain of consecutive Monday posts ran from October 17th to November 14th, 2016. The team went 1-3 during that time period, suggesting that the Lions were not so enthralled by the tweets. And who could blame them, when the social media team was busy tweeting, “The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg?”
Learn the conclusion of this harrowing Twitter tale after the jump.
Tags: appreciation post for whoever runs the football twitter, Homecoming was really only the pregame for saturday night, i am a softened potato, if football keeps winning will I get straight A's?, keep shakin, maybe I'll actually go to homecoming, motivation monday
Written by Finn Klauber
September 26, 20171:37 pm 0 Comments
Bureau Chief Finn Klauber covered this week’s ESC meeting which focused on the SEAS drop deadline, F@CU, JCCC, and more. If you weren’t able to make the meeting or view the livestream, here’s what you missed:
The SEAS Drop Deadline
The brunt of ESC’s (on the record) discussion concerned the late date of the SEAS drop deadline. The deadline, currently set for November 16th, occurs much later in the semester than CC’s deadline, leading President Aida Lu to present a conversation regarding the advantages and disadvantages of the late date. After 2019 Vice President Asher Goldfinger asked the council if anybody knew the origins of this date choice, 2019 Representative Montana St. Pierre responded with the information which his advisor related to him. That is, he spoke about how the grading policies in SEAS are different than CC’s, specifically in relation to the ease with which CC students can “take a ‘W’ or an official withdrawal after the drop deadline,” as well as the limitations on which SEAS classes can be taken pass/fail. He later added that the SEAS drop deadline occurs in the same week which marks the end of being able to “get a partial refund” after dropping a class. 2019 Representative Walker Magrath then claimed that “it’s almost impossible to pass/fail because of the accreditation for your major.”
More on ESC after the jump
Tags: bwog can't be the only one going through cat withdrawal right meow, engineering student council, esc, fuck you science, keep shakin, pdf the days away, we love free shit, where tf is oprah when you need her
Written by Dassi Karp
September 26, 201711:41 am 1 Comments
This week’s SGA meeting focused on what Barnard is doing to prevent sexual assault and make campus life safer for students. Bwogger Dassi Karp covered what Take Back the Night, SVR, and Title IX Coordinator Molree Williams-Lendor had to say about current safety concerns.
At this week’s meeting of Barnard’s Student Government Association, our Rep Council members continued exercising their good listening skills. They heard from representatives of Take Back the Night, Sexual Violence Response, and Barnard’s new Title IX coordinator to discuss Title IX issues at Barnard.
Take Back the Night (TBTN), a student group that provides opportunities to speak out against sexual violence in the Columbia community. TBTN’s current and incoming co-presidents spoke about a recent change in the group’s activities. TBTN has existed at Columbia for twenty years, and its main event has always been a march to protest sexual violence and stand in solidarity with survivors. This year, TBTN has decided to take the night back through other events. They referred to a lack of accessibility and some students feeling uncomfortable with the march’s required police escort. The presidents mentioned that they hope their new efforts, which will include speak-outs, a candle-lit vigil, and educational panels, will help the group become “more intersectional” and “move away from second wave feminism.” How that will happen and what these buzzwords really mean to TBTN was not discussed. But the group is optimistic about the coming semester, ensuring that “making people feel comfortable is our ultimate goal.”
More on SGA after the jump
Tags: administrative guests is to SGA what voting and passing things is to the other school councils, being barnard, broken and robbed, first years are our only hope, important stuff, sga, snaps for snaps
Written by Roberta Rhyse
September 26, 20179:24 am 11 Comments
Food of the Gods
Happening Around The World: Hurricane Maria continues to decimate Puerto Rico, and although it’s due to transition into a weak storm before hitting the East Coast, millions have suffered as a result of Maria’s devastation so please consider donating your moneys or time to Hurricane Maria Relief Fund(CNN).
Happening In The U.S.: Instead of delving into the latest and arguably bleak political developments (such as North Korea accusing the U.S of declaring war and the newly opened inquiry into Jared Kushner’s emails), the FBI’s annual crime report can depress us instead. The report highlighted that the ‘violent crime’ rate in the U.S has risen for the second consecutive year. (BBC)
Happening In NYC: Four weeks in to the school year and your social life is probably on its last leg as you become overwhelmed with projects, midterms and reading. Why don’t you take a break (we can pretend you haven’t procrastinated enough already this week) and head downtown to “CHIHULY” to take some awesome insta pics! (Time Out NY)
Happening At Columbia: Are you part of the ‘pantsuit nation?’ Or just generally interested in discussing Gender Justice and Women’s leadership? If so check out the ‘Power Talk with Athena Distinguished Fellow Kavita Ramdas’ former CEO of the Global Fund for Women at 7pm, 304 Barnard Lecture Hall.
Food of The Day: Three for a dollar garlic knots at Koronets.
Overheard: “Yeah if we die, we die. I don’t really care. I’m not a virgin anymore so it doesn’t really matter.”
By Wayne Truong (Flickr: rolls) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Tags: art is good, bwog helps you procrastinate, food is lyf, get insta famous, help puerto rico, no really food is important, social media campaigns always turn out so well
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