The only Package I care about.

Getting tired of the tea and ramen noodle packets? How stereotypically college do they think we are? Here’s Bwog’s petition for what to include in our next Columbia Care Package:

• The textbooks for all your individual courses
• Sexy Halloween costume that shows off your intellect, humor, and tits
• Study guides for all of your classes that actually look like your exams
• Pocket-sized unfoldable coat for the 20-degree temperature drop of the day
• Lotion because everyone is ashy 
• Electric razor for a manic buzzcut, preconceived buzz cut, or date that might go well
• Chastity ring for when reality strikes
• Umbrella you didn’t steal
• All the makeup you forgot at home
• Pajamas that don’t have stains on them because you forgot people have to see you in your pajamas
• Lube that doesn’t feel like a melted jolly ranchers
• Face wipes for nights you just can’t make it to the bathroom
• Monthly MetroCard because you always have to refill yours at the station while your train is coming
• Posters that don’t make you look like a poser
• Blankets that actually fit on these giraffe beds and your body
• A planner that has already been planned upon
• Personal water cooler (John Jay knows)
• Tissues
• Confidence

Let us know if you have any more suggestions for a care package that really delivers.

photo via Bwog Archives

Look at that diversity!!

Bwog crashed the party of the year last night in the Glicker-Milstein Theater, where Prohibition was in effect yet ineffectual and the 20’s roared. Tuesday Daily Vivian Zhou and Deputy Editor Idris O’Neill lived to tell the tale of CU Players’ The Great Gatsby.

The play opens with a casual atmosphere, inviting the audience to a thrilling 20’s party and transforming the space with minimal set and prop additions. But this rendition of the Great Gatsby is a lot more than fabulous parties and everyday problems of the upper class. Instead of actors on a stage telling a story and audience members listening, this play is a much-needed discussion on topics like oppression of minorities, white privilege, and the “American dream.” Director Nick Hermesman (CC ’19) takes Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel and applies it to the modern “political turmoil that day-by-day sees the silencing of voices of dissent against the wealthy white men who lead it” while still retaining the original storyline.

One of the most striking, as well as the most important, differences in CU Player’s rendition of The Great Gatsby is the explicit choice to use actors of color in primary roles–all the women are women of color, while the titular Jay Gatsby is played by Blessing Johnson (CC ’22) and Nick Carraway, whose role as narrator is significantly reduced, is played by Ken Westrick (CC ’20). While the show makes throwaway lines to the lack of apparent “whiteness” of the cast, it brings forward more questions with its subversive casting. Jacob Weinstein (CC ‘22) provided an excellent contrast in his portrayal of Wilson, Myrtle’s husband, a white man with fixated jealousy for his wealthier counterpart Tom, but who ultimately acts as a prop to Tom’s schemes to kill the intentionally Black Gatsby. While Daisy (played by Asha Futterman BC ’21) and Myrtle (played by Danielle Hopkins BC ’21) play traditionally white characters, what does it mean for the objects of attraction–not affection, as the play insists “this is not a love story”–to be played by Black women?

Asha Futterman’s ironic recounts of Daisy’s white childhood elicit a chuckle from the audience, but the dynamics between Daisy and Tom (played by Diego Lomeli CC ’21) deepen as he mocks her distrust and suspicion and chastises her blasé regard for motherhood. Tom is not just a male aggressor who forces Daisy into her role as a good wife and mother, he becomes a tangible threat emblematic of societal realities for Daisy. As Tom grows possessive of Myrtle, he represents the historical white male entitlement of Black women’s bodies and his subsequent seemingly unlimited access. Even in watching The Great Gatsby, which is unanimously agreed upon that you should, it is not enough that you accept people of color in playing these roles, but imagine the implications and nuances that embody this very intentional casting.

CUP’s The Great Gatsby is also no stranger to sexuality and its expression. In many scenes, the women’s display of sexuality not unlike that of Chantel Woo’s (BC ‘20), who portrayed Jordan Baker, interactions with Nick Carraway. She embraces the boldness and independence of Jordan’s character through well-curated body language, facial expressions, and delivered her lines with intent. While still carrying herself as sexy and seductive, Woo portrays the character with the confidence and assertiveness required of women of color as they navigate a white-dominated, male-dominated society. Do not be alarmed if you witness this statement of sexual dominance throughout the play, across scenes and sexualities. CU Players adopts the responsibility of bringing The Great Gatsby’s queer subtext to the forefront of the play with many engaging scenes, including a flashback of Daisy and Gatsby’s meet-cute with role reversed choreography featuring Emily Zhang (CC ‘21) as an army man and Thomas Baker (CC ‘22) as one of Daisy’s girl friends. Baker captivates the audience and fully embraces his roles, even during scenes when he was just moving a sofa onto the stage or removing a table from the stage. His versatility can be seen in the many contrasting characters that he takes on. CUP’s run remains unafraid to explore the ambiguity that attends any adaptation of The Great Gatsby.

The show could not be written about without mentioning the excellent choreography throughout the entire play done by the director Nick Hermesman with assistance from Erin Hilgartner (CC ’21). The dance numbers and wordless miming delivered the play’s message through purposeful body language and left the audience with room for interpretation. It also eliminated unnecessary delivery of lines, generating more overall purpose to the lines that were vocally delivered. Dance numbers are expertly curated to be transitional moments, only briefly (if at all) implied in the novel, such as conversations between Myrtle and Tom and more excitedly, Daisy’s and Gatsby’s sex scene, which featured all other actors in lingerie and silk sheets, exemplifying the sensuality and intimacy of their relationship, as well as being analogous to its place in the public eye. The choice of music and costume brought the play to the setting of the prosperous Long Island in the 1920’s without distracting from the intentional message and portrayal of characters.

In two short hours, CUP’s The Great Gatsby managed to address political issues ranging from the oppression of minorities to classism, male privilege to sexual ambiguity, leaving audiences with a lot to consider and reflect on. In two short hours, CUP’s The Great Gatsby managed to become the impactful and well-produced show that was needed in the current political climate. Go to The Great Gatsby for its clever one-liners, its overt queer tones, amazing choreography, but most of all, to be challenged by the unconventional, once-in-a-lifetime experience that it is.

See CUP’s The Great Gatsby at the Glicker-Milstein Theatre tonight at 8 PM or tomorrow at 7 PM. Tickets are sold out but there will be a waitlist that can be joined 1 hour before showtimes.

Photo via CUP-The Great Gatsby Facebook 

What if I told you I could make this… taste good?

New guest writer and self-described coffee snob Sophie Tobin gives you all the tips for transforming Columbia’s shitty dining hall coffee into something actually palatable.

Listen, I’m not a snob when it comes to most things. BUT. I’ve had the misfortune of developing a pretty snobby palette when it comes to coffee, making the dining hall coffee something I have come to avoid at all costs. Not only is it the most watered down brew you could imagine, but it tends to taste like actual bile if you don’t completely overload it with cream and sugar (especially in Hewitt. What the hell are they brewing down there?! Upon my first ever sip, I genuinely gagged. GAGGED. Why, why, why?).

Personally, I’ve resorted to brewing “Death Wish Coffee,” aka the strongest coffee you can legally buy, and that usually keeps me good for the day. Peet’s is great, and I’ll occasionally brave the line at Liz’s Place, but other than that I’m a pretty do-it-yourself type of gal when it comes to my caffeine boosts. But sometimes your Keurig is on the fritz, and you’re almost out of dining points, so you’re left with only one option: the dining hall coffee you’ve been trying oh-so-hard to avoid. And if you’re anything like me, you would almost rather go without than gag that stuff down by itself. Thus, I bring you:

A Coffee Snob’s Guide To Columbia Dining Decoctions

The hot tips are after the jump!

You’re four weeks into the semester. You’re settling into your classes, you’re growing closer to your friends, and for the first time since you arrived, Columbia is starting to feel like home. And then, you hear it. Not from the mouth of a stranger, not from a fifty-year-old white man browsing the aisles of Morton Williams, but from your brand new seemingly innocent friend: “but straight white men are the minority now”. Suddenly you feel faint, you start to lose your grip on reality and it takes everything in you not to vomit right there and then. Your new friend is problematic.

What your problematic NSOP friend probably looks like.

This may be an oddly specific dilemma, and you might not relate to this particular predicament at all, but if you do we are here to help. We have taken the time out of our busy schedules to craft this handy list of ways in which you can deal with your problematic friend.

1. Move to the Scottish Highlands and become a hermit. This way you’ll never have to see them, plus you can start a lucrative business hand sewing kilts.
2. Every time you know you’re going to see them, take a handful of laxatives thirty minutes before. This way you have a genuine excuse to avoid being in their presence.
3. Permanently stuff your ears with cotton wool. This way you never have to listen to their terrible opinions.
4. When you’re around them only speak in riddles. This way they won’t even want to be friends with you.
5. Become a mime and demand silence at all times so that you can hone your craft. This way they won’t be able to speak and you’ll also become a brilliant mime and the world could always do with more mimes.
6. When they start to voice a problematic view jump on the nearest table and start yodeling. This way you’ll overpower them with the magic of yodel and make new friends who share your love of the craft.
7. Wear a birthday badge at all times. This way, you can make sure that your problematic friend doesn’t say anything questionable. On your birthday you make the rules.
8. Where stilts instead of shoes. This way you’ll be too high to see or hear them.
9. Never shower. This way, your body odor will simply kill them.
10. Talk to them, explain why what they’re saying hurts you. Just kidding! They’ll never listen. Instead, fake your own death and frame them for your murder.

We’re afraid that’s all the sage advice we can offer. If none of the above works, we’re not sure what your next step should be. Maybe transfer to NYU?

your problematic nsop friend via Bwog Archives

They can fly if you believe enough.

Homecoming: the one weekend where everyone cares about the football team. Sports Editor Abby Rubel, who’s been paying attention all season, tells you occasional fans what you need to know. Included: other sports!

Football: It’s Homecoming! The Lions (3-2, 0-2 Ivy) will take on Dartmouth’s Big Green (5-0, 2-0 Ivy) (yes, that’s the name of their team) on Saturday at 1:35 pm at Kraft Field in Wien Stadium in Baker Athletics Complex. Fan buses will depart from 116th and Broadway starting at 10:20 am, giving you plenty of time to enjoy the full schedule of events. Note the free food from noon to 1:30 pm. (If you’re over 21, there’s free beer, too!) Columbia and Dartmouth have been playing each other since 1899, but Dartmouth has won 68 of those games to Columbia’s 19 wins. A 9-7 win over Dartmouth in 2016 snapped the Light Blue’s 15-year long Homecoming losing streak. Columbia is still missing some key players to injury, including placekicker Oren Milstein, wide receiver Josh Wainwright, and defensive back Landon Baty. In good news, quarterback Josh Bean is back! He’ll be facing off against Dartmouth Derek Kyler, who has 878 passing yards on the season and nine touchdowns.

Field Hockey: Columbia (7-5, 2-2 Ivy) will face Dartmouth (4-8, 1-3 Ivy) on Friday at 2 pm to kick off their Homecoming weekend, then take on Villanova (6-8) for a non-conference game on Sunday at 1 pm. Both games are at home. Dartmouth is on a four-game losing streak and currently sits at sixth place in the Ivy League. Katie Spanos leads the Big Green with eight goals, while Columbia leader Jennifer Trieschman has nine, making Trieschman the fourth highest scorer in the Ivies. The top Villanova scorers have six goals apiece.

Women’s Soccer: The Light Blue (6-6-1, 2-2 Ivy) will play their final home game of the season on Saturday at 6 pm against Dartmouth (8-4-2, 2-1-1 Ivy). Although the Lions have won every match against October 25, 2014, including a 3-0 win in Hanover last year, they trail overall 6-22-4. The Big Green stand at fourth in the Ivies, while the Light Blue is fifth. Columbia’s Maddie Temares leads the team with four points. Dartmouth’s top scorer, Remy Borinsky, has five goals and three assists on the season.

Clap harder! via gocolumbialions.com

when you thought the tv show already went too far

Happening in the World: Austrailian woman Lucy Wieland, age 27, was charged for obtaining $55,000 from fundraising website GoFundMe, after faking that she was diagnosed with cancer. It is currently unclear whether or not her partner is aware of the fraud or if she is suffering from other medical conditions (BBC).

Happening in the US: Trump has threatened to cancel the recent trade deal with Mexico, as well as withhold aid to Central American countries if the new migrant caravan of thousands, originating from San Pedro Sula, Honduras, reaches the United States (CNN).

Happening in NYC: On Thursday, an unloaded .32-caliber pistol was discovered in the bathroom of Public School 5, a Brooklyn Elementary School. Police found the gun a few hours after a student with a BB gun had caused a lockdown at A. Philip Randolph Campus High School in Harlem (NY Daily News).

Happening on Campus: Kick off Homecoming Weekend right and go to the Homecoming Yard Show! Come to Low Plaza at 6 pm tonight and see Greek organizations showcase their history through various performances. Hot chocolate and Dunkin’ Donuts will be served!

yes, i wasted a meal swipe on just this

Meal Recommendation of the Week: Gummy bears and coffee from JJ’s at 12 am. Honestly, this is probably the healthiest choice I’ve made during midterm season.

throwback to catfish on mtv via Wikimedia Commons