Daily Archive: October 23, 2018



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That man right there, officer

One writer for Bwog had to tell her story.

Early last Saturday, at the start of Family Weekend, my mom texted me– and I quote– “HIII DARLIN I’M HERE BY A GATE WHERE ARE YOU??” After I begged her for further details, she said, “I am by a guy selling art. He looks like [his name could be] Sebastian. Should I ask him for directions?” Immediately, I figured out her location and told her to stay where she was. And don’t talk to anyone.

We both decided that it was time to eat after some quick catching up. Although I was hoping that having a parent in town would entail going out for every meal and temporarily forgetting the $5-per-week budget I had set for myself, my mom insisted on trying the food on campus to get the “real Columbia experience.” And in all seriousness, I was somewhat excited to introduce her to what had become my temporary mom, taking care of me for 15 mediocre meals per week: Ferris Booth.

We did the usual rounds. She got a sandwich from behind the counter, some yogurt, and hummus and carrots to split. I got yogurt with granola, dried cranberries, and a banana. Looking back, we had a lovely meal, filled with reminiscing about the past and daydreaming about the future. We were innocent and naive; we never could have predicted the consequences our choice that day would have.

As soon as we stepped onto the subway, I knew something didn’t feel right. I could tell my mom felt the same way, but neither one of us wanted to ruin the day by asking to turn around.

Things take a turn for the worse below



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After finding out that grown-man-heart-throb Jake Gyllenhaal lived on floor 5 of John Jay during his time at Columbia, Bwogger Miyoki Walker immediately began to wonder about where young-adult-heart-throb Timothée Chalamet might’ve lived. She also wants you to know that her love for Timothée is almost entirely ironic. Almost. 

Pictured: Timothée Chalamet wistfully reminiscing about his time at Columbia University

John Jay
So many people live in John Jay that it’s an absolute fact someone with floppy hair, tired eyes and a generally relaxed demeanor, (maybe Timmy, maybe not), lived there at the same time he was enrolled. What makes this option strong is that, Tim is such a versatile actor that you could really see him as any of the guys on your floor. Maybe he’s the one constantly making the floor smell like weed. Maybe he’s the guy whose leg has somehow been broken for the past 5 months. Maybe he’s the one listening to Bob Dylan every night in the room next to you. Actually, he’s definitely the one listening to Bob Dylan every night in the room next to you.

If the fire alarms were going off as frequently as they do today, it’s no wonder Timmy transferred to NYU after one year. In the daylight, Tim seems to be a sweet little boy, but who knows what kind of party life he signed up for after hours? There’s no real basis for this argument, but maybe Timmy thought he could exploit his small role in Interstellar along with a nice Carman double to give him the best social life as possible—who really knows what goes on in that tiny head of his?

Wallach, a place where the people are chill and nobody knows your name, would’ve been the perfect place for artsy Tim Chalamet. You’d catch him in the lounge playing some indie song on the guitar (can he play guitar? He seems like he can play guitar). He’d be wearing a t-shirt that’s either way to big or way to small for his petite build. When you ask what song he’s playing, he’d just look up at you and nod. He didn’t hear you, but it wouldn’t be chill to ask what you said.

Listen, Furnald gets a bad rep when it comes to freshman dorms, but it might’ve been the ideal place for the quiet and mysterious Timmy to have lived. Just picture it: he runs in the elevator just as its closing and asks you to press the button for floor 6. He’s wearing a black turtleneck and his hair is at its optimal floppiness. He doesn’t speak for the rest of the ride and he quietly slips out once you hit his floor, disappearing into a mere nothingness. You tell your friends about him, but seeing as no one else really lives in Furnald and they’ve never seen him before, they have no reason to believe you. You don’t even believe you. This theory is only valid if Timothée is really just his character in Lady Bird, which is more likely than not.

Hartley, slightly softer than John Jay, slightly edgier than Wallach. Surprisingly enough, our sources say that Timmy did actually live in Hartley for his first and only year at Columbia. Typical Timmy, doing what we least expected of him. Gotta love it.

Photo via Bwog Archives



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Barnard is beautiful we stan

Barnard’s SGA met once again! And, once again, Barnard Bearoness Dassi Karp was there to report on successes, mishaps, and hot takes. Read on to learn what went down.

Barnard’s current ten-year contract with Aramark, which runs Barnard’s dining services, is reaching its natural expiration. At last night’s meeting, Barnard’s SGA Rep Council had the opportunity to speak to a representative of JGL, the food-service consulting firm that Barnard has hired to run the bidding process for new providers. She began explaining the Request for Proposal (RFP) process that they are now beginning now to solicit a proposal to find a new (or re-negotiated) service. Using an outside firm allows for a fair and equal process, bringing industry expertise and minimizing bias. The RFP will be distributed to interested providers by mid-November, and the selection should happen in mid-March.

JGL wanted SGA Reps to share what they think should be included in the RFP. Reps did have a lot to say, but their comments tended to repeat and echo what had already been said. Many Reps emphasized that they want a provider that offered good, comprehensive inclusive options. “Students shouldn’t be made to feel disadvantaged because of their food restrictions,” said University Senator Kira Dennis. The need for accommodating Halal, Kosher, vegan, and vegetarian students were all emphasized, as well as providing for students with allergies and other health requirements. Rep for Food and Dining Services Yeliz Sezgin also suggested prioritizing a provider that makes good use of technology to communicate to students about menus, hours, and swipes. Also, “if there could be light in there, it would be really nice.” Other suggestions included treating staff well and being culturally sensitive.

For what is likely to be a re-hashing of this conversation but on a larger scale, join SGA for a Focus Group on Food and Dining tomorrow, October 24. Show up to let JGL know that you want inclusive, healthy options.

A fun reminder:
Rep for Arts and Culture Phanesia Pharel announced that her committee is looking for an alumna to paint a mural on the empty Hewitt wall. SGA has been asking for volunteers for this for more than a year now. Maybe they’ll find someone before the next ten-year contract is up?



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One Bwogger takes a break from her love affair with women’s sports to offer a radical proposal to Columbia’s poor, decimated football team.

Let the record reflect that I never wanted to care even a little bit about football. I grew up in a small town where the only things to do are go to church and care about the Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl chances, so I decided I wanted to have nothing to do with it. But then I joined marching band in middle school and was thus forced to go to every football game for the foreseeable future. One day in 11th grade, I looked up and realized I knew what a down was and from that moment, I knew football had grabbed at least a little in some Stockholm syndrome type clutches, no matter how much I resisted. (The day I learn what “offsides” means is the day I’ve truly surrendered.)

While I still don’t really know (or care) what’s happening on the field half the time, I can still read a scoreboard and hear the cries of all 3 angry Columbia fans around me. Losing is never fun, and historically, we seem to do quite a bit of it. Last season, there was a ray of light amidst decades of darkness, and it wasn’t impossible to think that might be the case again, considering the close margin of victory in early play (Princeton excluded). Originally, this letter was going to be my plea to you all to please stop snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (see: Penn, October 12, 2018). Then, Homecoming happened, and I realized we have more pressing issues at the moment.

What are those issues, you may ask?



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First-year Bwogger, Elizabeth Burton, thinks Milstein is literally the best place on this campus. Since she spends so much time there, she has noticed that every person seems to fall in at least one of 7 categories. Here are her observations: 

By currently enrolled undergraduate students, we really mean currently enrolled Barnard students.

  • Loud Columbia men: This is likely a tall, white man who literally had not ventured to this side of the street until this year. He can probably be heard screaming on the phone with his girlfriend or loudly telling his frat bros that “Barnard isn’t all that bad.” Please go back to Butler.
  • The Peet’s line: This line feels like a sentient being. It’s always ridiculously long, and every single person in it is on their phone. Is it really worth it?
  • The friends catching up in the purple chairs: Okay, this really isn’t that bad, it’s just super uncomfortable. Those chairs look like they should be a place to quickly pull up the readings you forget to print when you don’t have time to go upstairs. Then, one person always quietly sits down with you, and then their friend that they literally haven’t seen in forever walks by. They have a conversation over, across, and between you about things you really shouldn’t be hearing.

who else is in the millie



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It has been reported that Plimpton Hall, one of Barnard College’s residential housing locations, has an exterior foam layer containing asbestos wrapping around the building. 

Students were shocked to come back to their suites yesterday evening to find a notice on the entrance door declaring that a removal procedure will be carried out from the October 25 to November 25. No students are currently being moved out of the building while this removal takes place, subsequently causing a great deal of unrest amongst residents of Plimpton and their parents. Barnard students annually pay $10,435 for on-campus housing.

The discovery of Plimpton’s asbestos comes on the back of several housing issues at Columbia and Barnard, including Carman’s lack of hot water, ceilings collapsing, and fire alarm problems.

More information after the jump



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Picture Jack and Rose on here.

Happening in the World: Titanic II, an exact replica with the same cabin layout as the original, is set to make its two-week voyage in 2022. It will sail the same route as the original, from Dubai to Southhampton, England to New York. The ship has cost $500 million, and will be making more than just one voyage (hopefully). After its maiden voyage, it will be embarking on other global routes.

Happening in the US: A lioness at the Indianapolis Zoo has killed the father of her three cubs. They were housed together at the zoo for 8 years with their three cubs. The lioness was in a physical confrontation with the lion, biting the 10-year-old male in the neck until he stopped moving. Further investigation will be made on this incident as to why and how to prevent further altercations.

Happening in NYC: Nassau University Medical Center on Long Island welcomed a “miracle baby” in July, and after three months in the hospital, mother and daughter are finally home. The baby weighed only 530 grams, about as large as an adult hand. She was delivered prematurely via C-section. The medical staff has become family for both mother and daughter after receiving 3 months of attentive healthcare.

Happening on Campus: Join CSER (Center for the Study of Ethnicity and Race) on their discussion, “Crazy Rich Asians: Race, Representation, Resistance?” This talk was inspired by the recent tensions and successes of the movie Crazy Rich Asians. The discussion will take place in the Diana Center and is open and free to the public.

Restaurant of the week: Ootoya in Times Square (and probably every other location) has the most delicious Oyako don (chicken, egg, onion with rice) and Japanese desserts such as Anmitsu (agar jelly with additives like matcha and red bean). Prices are slightly on the expensive side (20-40$). The Times Square location is good for a pre-show meal with the parents.

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