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img March 04, 201812:00 pmimg 0 Comments

To quote Martin Luther’s 1529 Small Catechism, “What does this mean?”

This Open Meeting Announcement was brought to you by Establishment Religion™ in the form of a classic catechism. Apologies for any potential sacrilege.

What is the chief end of man?

Man’s chief end is to go to Bwog’s meeting tonight, and to enjoy Bwog forever.

What rule hath Bwog given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy it?

That we come to Bwog’s open meeting with a pitch in tow, so that we may glorify and enjoy it.

What does Bwog principally teach?

That the meeting is at 9:00 pm tonight in Lerner 510.

What is Bwog?

Bwog is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable, in its being, wisdom, power, green grapes, justice, goodness, and truth.

Are there more Bwogs than one?

There is but one only, the living and true Bwog.

How many persons are there in the Bwoghead?

There are ten persons in the Bwoghead: the Editor in Chief, the Managing Editor, the Internal Editor, the Social Media, Arts, Events, Sports, and Science Editors, and the twinned Deputy Editors; and these ten are one Bwog, the same in substance.

What are the decrees of Bwog?

The decrees of Bwog are, its eternal purpose, to report on campus news, to review campus events, and for its own glory, to tell campus stories.

How doth Bwog execute its decrees?

Bwog executeth its decrees in the works of creation and providence.

What is the work of creation?

The work of creation is, Bwog’s making all posts, by the word of its power, seven days a week, and all very good.

How did Bwog create man?

Bwog did not create man.

Martin Luther via Wikimedia Commons.



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img March 04, 201810:24 amimg 0 Comments

Are these Bwoggies or Oscars? The world may never know.

Happening in the world: In “??!?!?!!!?!” news, Trump said during a Mar-a-Lago lunch with Republican donors that Chinese President Xi Jinping’s recent consolidation of power as “president for life” was “great” and that “maybe we’ll have to give that a shot some day.” He also complained about Hillary Clinton. (CNN)

Happening in the US: The 90th Academy Awards are today! Here’s a complete list of nominees. Most exciting to this Bwogger: Sufjan Stevens is performing, and his bands includes ST. VINCENT and MOSES SUMNEY. #indietakeover2018 (Vox)

Happening in the city:  The trial of Yoselyn Ortega, a nanny who murdered two of the children under her care, continued on Friday with the testimony of Marina Krim, the mother of the children. Ortega has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. (New York Times)

Happening on campus: Today is the Columbia Festival of Winds! Look out later this morning for an announcement post, but if you want to jam out to some wind ensembles, general admission tickets are $15 ($5 with CUID), and the good times start at 1:00 pm in the Roone Arledge Auditorium.

Overseen: Two girls “Lady and the Tramp”-ing a JJ’s mozzarella stick.

Song of the day:

Award season via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 28, 20182:14 pmimg 0 Comments

One-time Bwoggie nominee Lee “Prezbo” Bollinger, seen here with the world-famous Bwoggies statuette, nicknamed “Alma Pater.”

The apotheosis of awards season is upon us. No, I’m not talking about the Academy Awards this Sunday. There’s a new set of awards in town, coincidentally also being given out on Sunday: the Bwoggie Awards, the categories and nominees for which can be found below.

The crop of nominees for this year’s Bwoggies was compiled by the tireless tastemakers here at Bwog, but we don’t have the final say here. Today, our social media team will be posting all the categories as polls on our Twitter, and you, the vox populi, will decide the winners. Watch this space (i.e. for the winners to be announced on Sunday. Oscar? Oscar who? The Bwoggies are in town.

Again, head to Bwog’s Twitter to cast your votes!

Best Picture (Best Place To Take A Photo On Campus)

  • Facing Low Steps from the Sundial on a nice day
  • Looking north up Amsterdam on the overpass towards EC
  • McΒain mirror in the lobby
  • In the middle of a protest in front of Lerner




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img February 25, 201811:00 amimg 0 Comments

Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, here pictured in the depths of heterosexual angst.

The weather’s been sad and gray for the past few days, and Bwog’s been feelin’ so gosh-darn blue. We were trying to come up with a way to channel this Big Sadboi Mood™, when someone got the idea to pool all of our loose change together and use it to hire Bon Iver to write us a sad song. Below is the result of that $10.32, perfect for listening to whilst staring out of a window and wondering where it all went wrong. Without further ado: “Skinny Bwog.”

Come on, skinny Bwog, just last the year
Pitch to us tonight, meeting time is here
My my my, my my my, my, my
Staring at the table of snacks and WordPress gear
I tell my Bwog to write it all
Quit the job at Spec that you got last fall
My my my, my my my, my, my
Right in this moment, don’t have to stall

And I told you: Lerner 510
And I told you it’s at 9
And I told you we have snacks too
And I’ll tell you just what kind:
And in the evening we’ll eat green grapes
Oh so crisp and fresh and fine
And I’ll be holding all the pitches
And you’ll be writing your bylines…

Come on, skinny Bwog, what happened here?
A campus publication without peer
My my my, my my my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the ramps

And I told you: Lerner 510
And I told you it’s at 9
And I told you we have snacks too
And I told you just what kind
And now all your humor’s wasted
And then who the hell was I?
And I’m shouting for your pitches
And at the end of the headline…

Who will rush Bwog?
Who will write?
Who will edit what comes from your mind?

(Up next: a Butler-themed remix of “Re: Stacks“)

Sadboi Iver by Moses Namkung via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 25, 201810:00 amimg 1 Comments

If you don’t want this on all trees, never speak to me again

Happening in the world: Italy’s gearing up for an election on March 4; protests by both anti-fascist and far-rights groups have spread across the country in advance of the vote. Former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, leading the right-wing Forza Italia party, seems to be in the lead, per polling. (BBC)

Happening in the US: Two weeks ago, President Trump refused to declassify the Democratic rebuttal to the now-infamous “Nunes memo,” which essentially baselessly alleged widespread corruption within the FBI. Yesterday evening, the House Intelligence Committee released that rebuttal, which attempts to take down the Republican memo’s “point-by-point.” (New York Times; soft paywall)

Happening in the city: Today in “no fun allowed,” the Parks Department wants handmade tree sweaters to be removed from West Village trees. The creator of the project, fiber artist Suzanne Tidwell, seems to be okay with their removal, but oi, bureaucrats: let people enjoy things! (NY Post)

Happening on campus: The Athena Film Festival continues its lineup of events today, with the full schedule available here. Highlights include screenings of Moana and The Post (Oscar-nominated!) and a fascinating-sounding panel titled “Revising the Canon.”

Overheard: “Let’s just live in Ferris instead of dealing with housing this year.” (Room Selection Registration opens March 2nd, folks! This Friday!)

Sunday Song Suggestion(s): First, go listen to the two new Janelle Monáe songs (“Make Me Feel” and “Django Jane”). Heard ’em? Good. Now listen to this new Margaret Atwood-quoting, feminist JAM by monotone indie rockstar Courtney Barnett.

Yarn bombing by Smirkybec via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 18, 201811:00 amimg 0 Comments

This is where all the hippest kids get their big breaks, right?

Bwog came into some money recently, so we paid an up-and-coming rapper to write us a banger of an open meeting announcement. Lil’ WordPress, with over 84 followers on Soundcloud, just might be the next big thing. The results of a well-spent $43.90 are below.

Lil’ WordPress, “Open Meeting”

Yo, people of Columbia, I’m here to say
If you’re looking for a chill way to end your Sunday
And you’re just getting out of that hangover fog—
Then come to tonight’s open meeting of Bwog

We got snacks galore—including green grapes
And reporting more notorious than Trump’s pee tapes;
If that sounds like a kinda good time to you then
Climb up the glass ramps to Lerner 510

We start the meeting at 9 o’clock
Just come right in, you don’t have to knock—
All we ask is that you just prepare
A pitch or maybe two that you’d like to share

Now you’ve heard enough of our side of things;
Let’s meet up tonight, we’ll see what it brings,
You’ll soon commit to Bwog because we ain’t no fling,
We don’t wanna cause a fight but we’re the publication king—

So up those damn ramps haul ass and jog
To a squad that’s more dependable than any dog
It shouldn’t be the sort of evening that you’d call a slog,
No, nothing but good vibes at the meeting of Bwog.

Soundcloud Logo via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 18, 201810:00 amimg 0 Comments

NYCHA Housing. Not pictured: gross negligence of the working-class population that is vital to this city’s existence.

Happening in the World: An explosion near the Israeli-Gaza border yesterday injured four Israeli soldiers, two seriously, in what the media are calling the worst incident on the border in four years. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who already this week has weathered a statement saying he could potentially be indicted on charges of bribery and fraud, said that the incident was “very serious” and that the Israeli army “will respond appropriately.” Strikes on six Hamas targets in the region were carried out in response. (BBC)

Happening in the US: A professor at the University of Chicago’s Business School has invited Steve Bannon to a debate on globalization and immigration. The invitation has been highly polarizing at the university, which has positioned itself as a bastion of totally free speech (e.g., a 2016 letter from the Dean of Students criticizing and disavowing the use of trigger warnings). 100 faculty members signed a letter criticizing the invitation and 1,000 alumni signed a letter asking for it to be rescinded, but there are no current plans to do so. (The Economist)

Happening in the city: More Mayor de Blasio / Governor Cuomo fighting and posturing, this time over how to solve the life-threatening issue of failing boilers in the New York City Housing Authority, which left thousands of low-income residents without heat and hot water this winter. De Blasio harshly criticized Cuomo’s inaction and lack of financial support for NYCHA, adding onto the list of things he claims Cuomo is neglecting in the city (notably fixing the subway system and closing the Rikers Island jail). Political sparring aside, I think Afua Atta-Mensah, executive director of a community advocacy group, put the issue best: “…the vast majority of people in public housing work. They are city employees who pay rent and want basic things like heat, hot water and ceilings that don’t fall in on them.” Amen. (New York Times; soft paywall)

Happening on campus: CMTS’ 24-hour musical is today! From 6 to 9 pm, the Lerner Black Box will host this crazy endeavor, wherein a show is put together in (you guessed it) just one day. Tickets are free and can be found here.

Overseen: Friday the 16th, 11:30 pm, College Walk: Our fearless EIC, Betsy Ladyzhets, walking east and feeling very ill. Press F to pay respects.

Sunday Song Suggestion:

Housing via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 15, 20188:05 pmimg 0 Comments

A tale of woe, that chills the heart of any mortal man.

Gather round, students, get close to the warmth of the campfire. Desperately tired Bwogger Levi Cohen has a tale of despair for you all…

It’s the middle of February, the grayest of months. You’ve managed to get into something of a routine with all of your classes. Sure, your Global Core seminar has upwards of 100 pages of reading per week in PDFs, but so what? You’ve come this far in your Columbia career. Every week, you faithfully open Canvas and download whatever documents your professor wants you to read. You might skim one or two—surely no one in the class is reading everything? Except maybe that one girl. There’s always that one girl.

Yet one chilly, gray day, everything changes. You’re slipping on your coat, your gloves, your protective armor against the bitter New York wind—you give a cheerful wave across the table to a girl you only see once a week in this seminar. (After this class, you’ll never see her again.) Suddenly, the professor calls out—”Hold on a moment,” he says, and everyone freezes. A boy’s hand leaves the doorknob. All wait to hear what he has to say.

“I’ve decided that I want you to buy the full text of—” your professor says. You don’t hear anything else. Your world spins, like that old Mr. Krabs meme. His voice echoes in your head. But he’s already posted the first four chapters, in full, as PDFs on Canvas, you tell yourself. A benevolent god wouldn’t let him change his mind like this. You turn to the heavens. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME, you shout in your head. The professor is explaining his reasoning. The latter half of the book makes good points… will draw a nice contrast to what we discuss in Week 8…

How do you survive this atrocity?



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img February 11, 201811:00 amimg 0 Comments

Join now! Bwog is, after all, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.

(Wide shot of a beautiful meadow. Closeups of: a rabbit twitching its nose; a butterfly landing on a flower; a bead of dew hanging from a blade of grass.)

NARRATOR V/O: Everyone has… a purpose. Something which gives their life meaning.

(Wide again on the meadow. Nearly bird’s-eye view. We see a young woman wading through the grass.)

NARRATOR V/O: Some people want…… to make art. To help their communities. To work the land. To learn as much as they can.

(As the narrator speaks, we see flashes of what she describes: a potter sculpting a bowl; a woman operating a pop-up soup kitchen; a man standing in a field of marijuana; a girl sitting at a desk reading a book entitled GERMAN MODERNISM.)

This, but not imperialist or associated with the military in any way.

(Shot of the young woman, spreading out a blanket on the grass. Shot over her shoulder as she sits cross-legged and opens up a laptop. As she speaks, a timelapse montage of various campus buildings plays.)

NARRATOR V/O: I wanted to get in touch with people. I wanted them to read my writing, what I had to say. I wanted them to know which floor of Lerner corresponded to which book in the Lithum syllabus. I wanted them to read my review of a student production of A Streetcar Named Desire where every role was gender-swapped. I wanted them to know about events happening all over Columbia. More than anything, I wanted to eat grapes crisper and fresher than the air of a New York autumn.

(Shot of the young woman facing us while typing. On the back of her computer is a blue, square sticker which reads “FUCK SPEC.”)

(Shot of the young woman facing camera. She’s smiling.)

NARRATOR: That’s why I chose Bwog.

(Screen cuts to black.)



9:00 PM




Recruitment via Pixabay, Uncle Sam via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 11, 201810:00 amimg 0 Comments

Please stay alive until forever.

Happening in the world: In a retaliatory move after one of its jets was brought down during a raid, Israel has carried out its “most significant attack” against Syria since 1982. The strike was carried out against both Syrian and Iranian targets within Syrian territory. Experts say the loss of the fighter jet (though the pilots safely escpaed) is a “serious escalation,” even if Israeli airstrikes in Syria are “not unusual.” (BBC)

Happening in the US: Two important Trump stories today. Though the House Intelligence Committee unanimously voted to release the Democratic memo rebutting the Republican memo (nicknamed the “Nunes memo”after the HIC chairman) which alleged corruption within the FBI, the President has refused to declassify the response, and sent it back to the committee for “changes.” Accusations of a partisan double standard have been swift and condemnatory. Secondly, Trump tweeted yesterday—after the resignation of staff secretary Rob Porter following public accusations of physical and emotional abuse of his former wives— that “Peoples [sic] lives are being shattered and destroyed by a mere allegation.” Trump similarly called the late Fox executive Roger Ailes a “very good person” back in 2016 after allegations rose against him, and endorsed alleged pedophile Roy Moore in the Alabama senate race. So… yeah. (CNN, video autoplay warning; Washington Post, soft paywall)

Happening in New York: To combat the rising deaths caused by the opioid epidemic, city officials are considering the possibility of safe injection facilities— places where drug users can take drugs under medical supervision so as to prevent overdose. Last year, $100,000 was given to the city health department to study the potential uses of the facilities, and its report will be released soon (according to Mayor de Blasio). Debate is raging about the idea of the facilities, one of which has been operating successfully in Vancouver, British Columbia. It also may be against federal law. (New York Times, soft paywall)

Happening on campus: If you aren’t going in person (it’s also very much sold out, and it may be available to alumni only), the She Opened The Door Women’s Conference is live streaming the conference’s keynote address, given by none other than Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Law ’59). The conference is a tribute to Winifred Edgerton Merill (Columbia’s first female PhD graduate in 1886).

Overheard: [about applying for an internship] “I’ve been Law of Attraction-ing this shit since my mom told me about it last summer.”

Sunday Song Suggestion: 

Patron saint of the law via Wikimedia Commons.



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img February 04, 20181:02 pmimg 0 Comments

This is the 52nd Superb Owl.

Happening in the world: Apparently North Korea has been dodging the sanctions placed on them in 2017 through fishing contracts with the country of Mozambique. This comes after a UN report was released claiming that North Korea earned $200 million last year through sanction violations. (CNN)

Happening in the US: Girl Scouts in the Savannah, GA area are lobbying to get a nearby bridge renamed, as it currently honors a segregationist and white supremacist former governor. Among the options they hope to present to lawmakers is the “Juliette Gordon Low Bridge,” named after the Savannah native who founded the Girl Scouts of the USA. The Girl Scouts say that the effort is primarily to teach young girls about civic engagement. (New York Times; soft paywall)

Happening in NYC: A new position has been created in the MTA: “Wayfinders” wearing orange vests are there to give directions and a smile to anyone in the subway who might need it. The Wayfinders are part of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s Subway Action Plan, an $836 million initiative designed to address the issues plaguing the ailing MTA. (NY Times; soft paywall)

Happening on Campus: If you don’t have anyone to watch the Super Bowl with, don’t fret— Undergraduate Student Life is hosting a Super Bowl viewing party today. It starts at 6:30 in the Lerner Cinema (potentially AKA Roone Cinema?); there will be food, a raffle, and giveaways.

Overheard: [shouted at 3 am] “Oh, fuck you, Jared!”

Song Rec:

Owl via Public Domain Pictures



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img January 28, 201812:00 pmimg 0 Comments

Because why not advertise for Bwog whenever you’re hydrating?

It is Sunday, my dudes, so why would you do anything today except come to Bwog’s second open meeting of the semester, at 9 pm, in Lerner 510? Now that you’ve firmed up your spring semester schedule, ignore all of the work you have for those five classes and join us for snacks, pitches, and (when the mood strikes us) hard-hitting journalism. I promise we don’t bite (unless you’re a bag of freshly-washed grapes, in which case, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

Bwog Branding via Levi Cohen’s Klean Kanteen.



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img January 28, 201810:21 amimg 1 Comments

This district in PA is nicknamed “Goofy Kicking Donald Duck,” because why not

Happening in the World: Alexei Navalny, the leader of the opposition party in Russia, was arrested today during a protest in Moscow; the charge is illegally organizing a protest. Navalny is a vocal critic of President Vladimir Putin, who has been either President or Prime Minister of Russia for the past 18-odd years and is running again this year (for a fourth non-consecutive and second consecutive term). Putin and his party have denied Navalny and others’ accusations of widespread corruption in Russian politics. The first round of voting takes place on March 18. (CNN)

Happening in the US: Six days ago, Pennsylvania’s Supreme Court ruled that the state’s map of congressional districts constituted gerrymandering and thus violated the state constitution. In response, state Republicans have filed an emergency application to the US Supreme Court asking to stay the state court’s decision, claiming that the court has overstepped its bounds. The Supreme Court Justice overseeing Pennsylvania, Samuel Alito, is the recipient of the application, but it is unclear what steps (if any) he will take in response. (The Economist)

Happening in NYC: A donor to NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio has pleaded guilty to bribing him with campagin contributions, the second such case involving de Blasio since 2016. The mayor himself has not been charged with anything in either case, which has raised eyebrows and questions about the prosecution of elected officials who do take bribes. (NYT)

Happening on Campus: The Charles Drew Premedical Society will be holding its first general body meeting in Lerner today at 4 pm. You should go if you’re a pre-med or prospective pre-med student interested in getting involved on campus or just getting support from fellow pre-meds. More details can be found on the Facebook event page here.

Overheard: “My personal hell would be an exact copy of JJ’s except they’re out of food. Like, totally out of food. Forever.”

Song Recommendation:

Pennsylvania’s disaster of a seventh congressional district via Wikimedia Commons.




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img January 27, 201812:00 pmimg 3 Comments

Sen. 1: What’s Cicero talking about? Sen. 2: Not sure, he hasn’t gotten to the verb yet.

Yesterday afternoon in Hamilton 503, the Classics Department kicked off its semester of Classics Colloquia in style. If you missed this one, fear not: the next colloquium is next Friday, February 2nd, at 4:10 pm in the same place; Nicholas Rynearson will be giving a talk on Socrates in Plato’s dialogues. Bwogger, noted nerd, and potential Classics major Levi Cohen attended this one, however, and discusses it below. Even if the subject matter was, to borrow from Livy, nimia obscuras — “excessively obscure” — it was still a great time.

After a brief nap following my Friday-morning Greek class, I bravely entered Hamilton Hall one last time before the weekend to attend the first of six talks being given this semester by Classics professors from Columbia—and its peer institutions—on a variety of topics. The turnout was solid, with a nice mix of undergrads, postbaccalaureates, grad students, and professors eagerly taking notes throughout the talk.

Our speaker was Hannah Čulík-Baird, a Professor of Classics at Boston University (@opietasanimi on Twitter); the talk was entitled “Vetustas pauca non deprauat, multa tollit — loss and recovery of knowledge in the late Republic.”

For those readers without any Latin, the quotation in the title is from the author Varro, and translates to: “There is little that time does not distort, much it obliterates completely.” It was a fitting header, then, for this talk, which examined a variety of sources so as to develop a picture of how Romans engaged with the concept of their own past.

Hear A LOT about what Cicero has to say after the jump



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img January 24, 20181:00 pmimg 2 Comments

Artistic rendering of my suffering

Sometimes, Bwog reviews professional performers showcasing their talent on campus. Other times, Bwog reviews less-than-professional performers holding us metaphorically hostage. This review, by staffer Levi Cohen, falls into the second category.

There are two meanings to the phrase “captive audience.” The first is an audience that is caught up in whatever is being performed. The second is an audience that is being subjected to a performance; an audience held at (usually metaphorical) gunpoint.

I am that second type of audience for the person on my floor’s newest artistic effort, Unearthly Off-Key Shrieking At All Hours Of The Day, released independently and available now on Spotify or through the very thin walls of your dorm room. My floormate has truly taken the musical concept of “what if I don’t understand how to shut up at 2 am” to its furthest conceptual limits. Never before has a performer stretched themselves in such a way.

Click here for the rest of this Bwogger’s scathing review of his suitemate’s singing

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