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img March 09, 20184:15 pmimg 5 Comments

Previously a critic of St. A’s, Bwogger Megan Wylie has stopped kidding herself and conceded that maybe – just maybe – they’re alright. 

I’m not quite sure why, but I have found myself writing two critical articles about St. A’s when in reality, I don’t have a problem with the group. Maybe the resentment is rooted in my subconscious due to the fact that I went to a B-list New York private school. Whatever the cause, this post is apologetic in its nature. I don’t want to criticize their spitting of a pig or the over-the-top themes; instead, I am here to give credit where credit is due. Of all the parties I have attended at this university, I have to say the playlist at the last St. A’s party was bomb.

Just imagine the security guard begrudgingly waiting in the foyer

It was definitely the whitest playlist that I have heard, but there was something about Taylor Swift’s ‘Lovestory’ played after ‘Knock You Down’ followed by ‘Unwritten’ that really brought out my best. I could have done without Vampire Weekend playing in the same room where their album was shot, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was an ironic gesture. Somewhere between ‘Hot N Cold’ and ‘Toxic’, I found myself jumping up and down and being handed a polaroid by someone I have never met. It was during ‘Mr. Brightside’ that I discovered an ‘Eyes Wide Open’ mask which would haunt my dreams later that night. A friend and I proceeded to jump up and down with a champagne bottle and an excessive amount of sweat that blurred the make-shift Harry Potter scar I had drawn in lipstick, and aggressively screamed along to the lyrics. We were so energetic in fact that my Apple watch chimed in that I had done my daily amount of exercise–a task that does not get completed when I’m in the secluded back booth of 1020 watching reruns of ‘Divorce.’

Anyway, the playlist made the trek….who am I kidding? the Uber down to Riverside Drive in the middle of a storm worth it. It brought me back to the days of middle school, with math teachers pulling apart preteens awkwardly grinding to T.I.’s ‘Whatever You Like.’

Photo courtesy of New York Big Apple Images



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img February 23, 20184:30 pmimg 1 Comments

Education and Incarceration was an event hosted by the Human Rights department, and was led by none other than Bwog’s own Sarah Dahl and featured a panel of Professors with the Justice-in-Education initiative as well as prison rights advocates. Avid The Night Of watcher and Staff Writer Megan Wylie checked it out. 

The role of education and prison, as well as prison reform in general, has been an increasingly popular issue in the political world due to the country’s dependence on the prison industrial complex. This particular panel focused on the role of university professors and outreach efforts to maximum security prisons. The two Columbia professors on the panel were noted prison advocates Achille Varzi and Christia Mercer. Also present was Danny Li, a Columbia senior who has dedicated his time to teaching debate at Rikers Island every week, whose passion for teaching inmates debate skill helped him organize excursions to Albany and cross-prison debate competitions for the participants. The panel also featured Aisha Elliott, a formerly incarcerated student and prison education advocate.

I’m pretty sure this type of cell isn’t used anymore, but you get the point

Mercer began the event by presenting staggering statistics regarding prison populations in the US and the disproportional targeting of people of color and people below the poverty line. The entire system favors the white and privileged, from the criminal justice system to the bail-bond process, and this is clear in the rates of incarceration in relation to race and income. In addition, due to the climates of prison, rates of reincarceration are extremely high since inmates are released into society without being rehabilitated or educated by the state, and face rampant discrimination.

Find out more after the jump



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img February 21, 201811:26 amimg 0 Comments

Ugh, I bet all of these people got jobs at Goldman in October.

For those of us who are not being recruited for logical fields like consulting or finance, family events are particularly treacherous. What do you say when a non-millennial asks what you’re doing after you graduate? Saying the wrong thing can lead to follow-up questions your Creative Writing major did not prepare you for. Luckily, Staff Writer Megan Wylie is here to provide you some quick responses:

Recently, I was asked in Russian what my post-graduation plans were. I told my Step-Grandmother to translate my go-to response comprised of a longwinded explanation incorporating all my hopes and dreams, so imagine my surprise when I was then pelted with questions about how I’ve spent four years as a PoliSci and History major, and all I have to show for it is an ability to loosely define sovereignty. While this left me speechless and reaching for a glass of water,  I thought up some ways you can learn from my mistake:

  1. Let Julia Roberts answer this one for you: “I think I’m just gonna go to Bali and find myself, you know?”
  2. Praise your binge-watching skills by saying, “I think I’m gonna dedicate myself to film”
  3. Say that you’re going into computer science, and change the subject by offering to help them set up their new iPad.
  4. Point to them, say, “good question!” and hope they pick up on your awkward laughter
  5. Say you’re going into the hospitality business while you’re making an income off of putting your apartment on Airbnb at an inflated price
  6. Commit to going to the 2022 Olympics in something you can pick up fast, like luge!
  7. Confidently say,  “I’m gonna take a couple of years off and then go to law/business/journalism school,” but provide absolutely no concrete timeline so they can’t question when you’re still watching Black Mirror three years later
  8. Scream out one of those vague one-word professions, like litigation, or consulting. No one really knows what exactly that entails, but they’ll nod and pretend to know so they don’t look stupid
  9. Propose a time machine for the specific purpose of going back in time to inform your teenage self that the only way to have the assurance of employment is by focusing on science or math
  10. Turn the tables on them, and question what the fuck they’re doing with their lives
  11. Alternative choice, throw the closest person your age under the bus and ask them their post-grad plans
  12. Run to the closest exit with no warning and hope they get the message

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img February 01, 20188:37 pmimg 1 Comments

This weekend, Bwog received a photo of St. A’s roasting a full lamb on a spit. Immediately there were questions: Where did this lamb come from? how did it get to a riverside drive mansion?  who rotisseries lamb? Wanting more details on the mystery, staff writer and belligerent vegetarian (who sometimes eats duck) gets the inside scoop from the most infamous animal on campus.

How will I get that McKinsey internship now??

I just keep going back to that photo. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be portrayed like that for the whole campus to see? If you were to tell me last week that I would be rotating on a grill at a Riverside Drive townhouse cookout, I’d call you insane. But here we are. Let me give you some context because I assure you–I am NOT that kind of lamb.

So I’m just sleeping on a farm one day, dreaming of some nice daffodil-filled fields when I feel these large hands behind me. Next thing you know I’m on a bus headed to the big city. At this point, I think I’m getting my big break. I mean, have you seen Babe in the Big City?

My naivete aside, I’m now just a tad bit confused. What the hell am I doing chilling–literally–in a Midtown freezer? So imagine my surprise when I get picked up by some nice-looking college boys. I didn’t see their face, but their shoes looked pretty shiny so I figured things could only get better going home with some handsome boys like that. But then I start hearing them try and bargain. Excuse me? You’re wearing Gucci slippers and you’re trying to get a deal on a prized lamb like me?

This story isn’t over yet.



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img January 25, 20184:42 pmimg 0 Comments

“I live in shame, a whore awash in sewage.” -Dante/Me, standing by as someone pees in the dishwasher.

Though we all encounter the 9 circles of hell when we read Dante’s Inferno, there is a more familiar wretched zone that Vergil doesn’t tell us about: EC. The journey from campus to EC on a Friday night can be as difficult as Dante’s descent into Lucifer’s lair, so staff writer Megan Wylie is here to serve as your personal guide to Columbia’s own underworld. 

First Circle (Limbo): The bridge from campus to EC

East Campus at the core of the eternal inferno

The first step into a night of sin. Slowly but surely, you cross that fateful bridge across Amsterdam and began the voyage into hell. Though you can still sense the remnants of your academic responsibilities, the smell of cheap vodka growing more and more compelling.

Second Circle (Lust): The Lobby

You’ve already taken the leap from the collegiate environment to the gates of residential hell, so there’s no stopping your further descent: your carnal desire for watery beer and regret has overcome you. The only thing left to accomplish is getting past the sign in desk. As you see the rest of the Columbia community tap in with ease, your Barnard status leads you to fawn over any EC resident and you will do anything it takes to make it to the elevator.

Third Circle (Gluttony): Shots

Like the overindulgent sinners found by Dante, you yourself have taken part in downing drink after drink. Here we see the encapsulation of a lack of restraint, as shown with your consistent dysfunction while throwing back shots of watered down Svedka chased with Barefoot Moscato.

Fourth Circle (Greed): International Students

Like the people stuck in molten gold, this circle reminds you of pure, unadulterated wealth. Surrounded by Canada Goose parkas scattered around the floor, you are confronted with international students dripping in Chanel jewels and hundred dollar bills lined with coke.

Fifth Circle (Wrath): Someone throwing up on your shoes

Stuck in the Barnumbia equivalent of the River Styx, you find yourself overcome with anger as the kid on his fourth losing round of pong vomits onto your new boots that, despite your better judgment, you wore.

Sixth Circle (Heresy)Unironically cheering for Columbia Athletics

This is where you come into the heretical group of those worshipping false idols–the football team. Yes, they had a good start this year, but does that deserve the fawning group of drunk freshman falling at their feet?

Seventh Circle (Violence): Drunken Tension

As you make your way through the three sections of the violent circle, you see an array of students who have partaken in displays of violence. There’s the athlete who started a fight in the Mel’s bathroom, someone who tripped purposefully so their crush would help them up and a philosophy major spilling a beer on a copy of the bible.

Eighth Circle (Fraud): Pretending to have a boyfriend back home

It’s not that you enjoy being a fraud per se, but surrounded by a kid massively exaggerating the influence of some article he wrote in his high school’s newspaper, you fall into a trap of corruption. Despite the alcohol wanting to unleash all your truths, when he asks “so, do you wanna get out of here?” you succumb and cut him off with a quick  “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.”

Ninth Circle (Treachery): The suite at 1 AM

Before the masses flee to 1020, the suite resembles the darkest point of hell. In this destitute ditch, the windows are steamed up, the music has shifted to bad throwbacks, kids are chasing the last remaining drops of vodka with minute maid, and it is near impossible to avoid your peers messily making out against a ‘Columbia’ flag.

Center of Hell: The Shaft

No explanation necessary but here’s one anyway. 



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img December 09, 20174:30 pmimg 3 Comments

Glad this album cover has single-handedly supported the St. A’s butler

Those who have walked through the foyer of the fateful house belonging to the members of St. Anthony’s hall often have a common question: how do these children fund the ridiculous inner workings of that townhouse? Staff writer Megan Wylie looked into the possibilities of how the ‘elite’ society gets its chump change.

Theory 1: They are still collectively living off of the Vampire Weekend proceeds they were promised in exchange for the band using the chandelier as the cover for their titular album debut.

Theory 2: They have been secretly frequenting the black market to sell the Rolexes that their pledges are allegedly forced to buy and throw in the Hudson.

Theory 3: They force members to donate a Canada goose jacket so they can turn them into overpriced luxury pillows.

Theory 4: They have been renting their secret pool to Upper West Side parents looking for bougie birthday parties for their eight-year-olds.

More very real possibilities after the jump.



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img December 07, 20173:04 pmimg 0 Comments

On Wednesday, December 7th, SIPA hosted an event regarding the future of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals Act following its repeal by President Trump. Staff writer Megan Wylie went to the timely event which featured a keynote address from Speaker of the City Council, Melissa Mark-Viverito and a diverse panel of professors and community activists.

The City Council Speaker giving the keynote address discussing New York’s policies towards immigrants

Being both a native New Yorker and a politics nerd, I inevitably have a guilty pleasure for local politics. When I saw that the event was featuring Melissa Mark-Viverito, who was the first Puerto Rican councilwoman in New York City, I was interested due to the fact that it would not just be an academic approach to tackling the issue, but a personal one. Born in Puerto Rico, Councilwoman Mark-Viverito moved to New York when she was a child and attended Columbia for undergrad, and moved on to Baruch to pursue her master’s. Back to the topic at hand, the Councilwoman has helped make the city remarkably accessible to immigrants affected by the dismissal of DACA through providing legal, social, political, professional and economic assistance to those at risk of being deported.

Read more…



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img December 01, 20174:20 pmimg 0 Comments

“Please don’t make me read and review a journal article you wrote in high school.” – The professor

It’s finals time, and the inevitable panic that sets in when you look at your lax notes will probably lead you to beg for mercy during office hours. While waiting for those 5 minutes you have to discuss everything that has been taught in class, you will face some human obstacles. Staff writer Megan Wylie warns you of one of the most dangerous archetypes: the ‘try hard.’

The ‘try hard’ is unfortunately not a rare character at Barnumbia. A frequent voice in class, they have a unique skill that gives them the confidence to ask a question in a 100 person lecture and turn it into a full-on conversation. Despite this tactic, they choose to arrive a full thirty minutes early to office hours in order to sit themselves down in front of their professor’s door. The bleak two hours that your professor holds office hours is your chance to butter them up before they grade your research paper, or maybe you just want to learn a bit about them.

The try hard goes to office hours, however, for a different reason. They trek to SIPA and bother their tenured professor just to make sure their busy educator knows about their knowledge of early German literature and how it relates to the curriculum. Plot twist: it doesn’t. Despite the uselessness of their visit, they make sure to spend a solid 45 minutes babbling on about how they disagree with their professor who has a doctorate in the field. They hold a conversation with the professor for as long as they can, however, it’s not so much a conversation as it is a one-sided critique of what historical academia deems to be true.

So what else do they do?



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img November 16, 20172:30 pmimg 0 Comments

Although climate change has graced us with weather that unfortunately lets people get away with wearing flip flops to class, the cold has finally set in. With winter approaching fast, Staff Writer Megan Wylie researched some tips to prepare yourself for what you’ll see on campus.

  1. Couples trying to pretend they aren’t on the verge of a breakup by posting a tree lighting pic

    Not shown: The patch of black ice that made me late to class

  2. A scarf that smells like mothballs being used to save three seats in Ref
  3. Your crush in class ruining their aesthetic by wearing a horrendous beanie
  4. Athletes posing half-naked in the snow (you know who you are)
  5. Winter accessories that cost more than tuition
  6. The inevitable melange of filth and snow that covers Broadway after the first snowfall
  7. Students blending together in a flock of Canada Goose jackets
  8. Kids from Florida looking like they’re embarking on an Arctic excursion.
  9. People trying to ski down Low Steps
  10. “Cuffing Szn” Instagram posts
  11. Longer lines at the 114th street Starbucks
  12. Ferris dedicating the entire dessert display to some sort of tasteless gourd
  13. International students freezing outside Butler while smoking in subzero temperatures
  14. A lot of people posting about the weather even though it’s only 10 degrees colder than it was last week. Stay warm!



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img October 25, 20175:15 pmimg 0 Comments

Photo Credit: The Independent

Doing what I did best in my natural habitat.

With the lack of appropriate October weather, there has been a noticeably missing motif on campus: the Canada Goose. To gain an insider’s perspective on this epidemic, staff writer, Megan Wylie, jumped into her closet to get in the head of her dusty, aging parka.

We always hear about the effects of Climate Change on polar bears, and on penguins, and on humans; But do we ever hear about the true victims? It’s nearing the end of October but I, a carefully crafted manifestation of goose feathers and trust funds, have remained in the back of a closet. Thrown amongst old prep school sweatshirts and cashmere throws, I spend my days in envy of the short sleeve tees that have taken my place.

Homecoming has come and gone, but I remain unused. October is typically the month when my long summer hibernation comes to an end, and I resume my daily position outside of Butler with the rest of my flock. Every day I hope for a sudden plunge in temperatures, yet it is still 70 degrees outside.

Gone are the days that I complained about being pelted with gin and tonics in the back booth of 1020, or about the pitiful waits outside Mel’s in subzero terrains. Instead, I woke up one morning and with a coating of white powder on my waterproof exterior, and I thought, could it be? The beautiful feeling of snow that I longed for? I soon realized my excitement was premature, and it was just a thin layer of cocaine that had been the result of my owner’s tryst with an international student.

What else is the Goose thinking?



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img October 12, 20176:20 pmimg 1 Comments

Coming in at number 3, Ref is the best way to make sure your breakdown resembles the Ivy League caliber you constantly strive for

We’ve all been there at one time or another: It’s your ninth hour in Butler, you have three midterms this week and you just feel the overall need to let your stress out in the form of light tears and subtle screams. As far as coping mechanisms go, it’s one of the healthier ones, so Bwog Staff Writer Megan Wylie left her cozy cubby on the 4th floor in search of the best location in times of crisis. 

7. 5th Floor Reading Rooms

The glass doors and lack of personal space in these rooms make this resemble a pitiful zoo. All anyone needs to do is walk out of the elevator and you’re met with awkward eye contact from a girl in your NSOP group three years ago. 2/10

6. The Stacks

Although the stacks would be the obvious place to hide out from your TA returning from a smoke break outside, don’t be so easily fooled. Yes, it’s quiet; yes, it’s secluded; yes it’s dark, but it’s only a matter of time before the solitary confinement of Stacks level 8 gets to you and you start hallucinating said TA winking at you from the next bookshelf over. 3.5/10

5. Islamic Studies Room/East Asian Studies Room/Graduate Reading Rooms

While the nice views and cozy nature provide a guise of a safe place to cry, it has its limits.  First, the smallness works against you and your voice will amplify, leading to a lot of confused faces glaring at you when you scream “I should have gone to Cornell!” Second, the fact that it closes at 11 is a major drawback—Everyone knows Butler breakdowns are to be conducted between the hours of 1AM and 4 AM. 5/10

4.  209

209 is like the classic Columbia student: a little studious, a little testy and a little fun. As far as study spots go, it’s a pretty good one–as long as you don’t sneeze too loudly. In times of crisis, however, 209 is too public for my liking. Plus, you risk a significantly awkward interaction if you’re sitting at a two-person table.  6.5/10

3. Ref/301

Ref can go either way. The chandeliers and tall ceilings can be scholastically daunting, and the sound of silence with a touch of whispered gossip is enough to break those of us on our sixth cup of copy in the midst of a thesis induced psychosis. Due to its size, you’re safe to run to the stairway if you’re near the entrance, but if you’re in one of the back rows, you better hope you’re not walking down the aisle of your social funeral. 7/10

2. ButCaf

I don’t know how anybody can do anything but a group project in ButCaf, but who am I to judge. The cafeteria-esque vibe provides an impressive amount of noise muffling, and the access to a giant cookie is unparalleled. All in all, it’s a solidly mediocre place for a 3 am cry and subsequent chocolate binge. 8/10

1. 403

A bastion of hope in the endless black hole that is Butler Library. The cubbies are an anti-social studier’s dream and provide ample privacy for when you need to take a recovery break to watch Law & Order: SVU. The fourth floor is like the beautiful love child of Ref and the 6th Floor Reading rooms, creating a pristine melange of sociality, quiet, and calmness. 10/10

Honorary Mentions:


Honestly, it goes without saying, but unless you want forty hipsters with wire-rimmed glasses shooting you death glares from behind their copy of The Brothers Karamazov. -0.5/10


Not technically a library room per se, but the staircases should be valued no less as a prime breakdown getaway. The dim lighting, accessibility, and sound isolation is a true blessing. I will admit it’s not the comfiest, but it’s truly the best if you need a quick recovery scream in between assignments.  14/10

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