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Dec

9

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Glad this album cover has single-handedly supported the St. A’s butler

Those who have walked through the foyer of the fateful house belonging to the members of St. Anthony’s hall often have a common question: how do these children fund the ridiculous inner workings of that townhouse? Staff writer Megan Wylie looked into the possibilities of how the ‘elite’ society gets its chump change.

Theory 1: They are still collectively living off of the Vampire Weekend proceeds they were promised in exchange for the band using the chandelier as the cover for their titular album debut.

Theory 2: They have been secretly frequenting the black market to sell the Rolexes that their pledges are allegedly forced to buy and throw in the Hudson.

Theory 3: They force members to donate a Canada goose jacket so they can turn them into overpriced luxury pillows.

Theory 4: They have been renting their secret pool to Upper West Side parents looking for bougie birthday parties for their eight-year-olds.

More very real possibilities after the jump.

Dec

7

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On Wednesday, December 7th, SIPA hosted an event regarding the future of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals Act following its repeal by President Trump. Staff writer Megan Wylie went to the timely event which featured a keynote address from Speaker of the City Council, Melissa Mark-Viverito and a diverse panel of professors and community activists.

The City Council Speaker giving the keynote address discussing New York’s policies towards immigrants

Being both a native New Yorker and a politics nerd, I inevitably have a guilty pleasure for local politics. When I saw that the event was featuring Melissa Mark-Viverito, who was the first Puerto Rican councilwoman in New York City, I was interested due to the fact that it would not just be an academic approach to tackling the issue, but a personal one. Born in Puerto Rico, Councilwoman Mark-Viverito moved to New York when she was a child and attended Columbia for undergrad, and moved on to Baruch to pursue her master’s. Back to the topic at hand, the Councilwoman has helped make the city remarkably accessible to immigrants affected by the dismissal of DACA through providing legal, social, political, professional and economic assistance to those at risk of being deported.

Read more…

Dec

1

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“Please don’t make me read and review a journal article you wrote in high school.” – The professor

It’s finals time, and the inevitable panic that sets in when you look at your lax notes will probably lead you to beg for mercy during office hours. While waiting for those 5 minutes you have to discuss everything that has been taught in class, you will face some human obstacles. Staff writer Megan Wylie warns you of one of the most dangerous archetypes: the ‘try hard.’

The ‘try hard’ is unfortunately not a rare character at Barnumbia. A frequent voice in class, they have a unique skill that gives them the confidence to ask a question in a 100 person lecture and turn it into a full-on conversation. Despite this tactic, they choose to arrive a full thirty minutes early to office hours in order to sit themselves down in front of their professor’s door. The bleak two hours that your professor holds office hours is your chance to butter them up before they grade your research paper, or maybe you just want to learn a bit about them.

The try hard goes to office hours, however, for a different reason. They trek to SIPA and bother their tenured professor just to make sure their busy educator knows about their knowledge of early German literature and how it relates to the curriculum. Plot twist: it doesn’t. Despite the uselessness of their visit, they make sure to spend a solid 45 minutes babbling on about how they disagree with their professor who has a doctorate in the field. They hold a conversation with the professor for as long as they can, however, it’s not so much a conversation as it is a one-sided critique of what historical academia deems to be true.

So what else do they do?

Nov

16

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Although climate change has graced us with weather that unfortunately lets people get away with wearing flip flops to class, the cold has finally set in. With winter approaching fast, Staff Writer Megan Wylie researched some tips to prepare yourself for what you’ll see on campus.

  1. Couples trying to pretend they aren’t on the verge of a breakup by posting a tree lighting pic

    Not shown: The patch of black ice that made me late to class

  2. A scarf that smells like mothballs being used to save three seats in Ref
  3. Your crush in class ruining their aesthetic by wearing a horrendous beanie
  4. Athletes posing half-naked in the snow (you know who you are)
  5. Winter accessories that cost more than tuition
  6. The inevitable melange of filth and snow that covers Broadway after the first snowfall
  7. Students blending together in a flock of Canada Goose jackets
  8. Kids from Florida looking like they’re embarking on an Arctic excursion.
  9. People trying to ski down Low Steps
  10. “Cuffing Szn” Instagram posts
  11. Longer lines at the 114th street Starbucks
  12. Ferris dedicating the entire dessert display to some sort of tasteless gourd
  13. International students freezing outside Butler while smoking in subzero temperatures
  14. A lot of people posting about the weather even though it’s only 10 degrees colder than it was last week. Stay warm!

Oct

25

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Photo Credit: The Independent

Doing what I did best in my natural habitat.

With the lack of appropriate October weather, there has been a noticeably missing motif on campus: the Canada Goose. To gain an insider’s perspective on this epidemic, staff writer, Megan Wylie, jumped into her closet to get in the head of her dusty, aging parka.

We always hear about the effects of Climate Change on polar bears, and on penguins, and on humans; But do we ever hear about the true victims? It’s nearing the end of October but I, a carefully crafted manifestation of goose feathers and trust funds, have remained in the back of a closet. Thrown amongst old prep school sweatshirts and cashmere throws, I spend my days in envy of the short sleeve tees that have taken my place.

Homecoming has come and gone, but I remain unused. October is typically the month when my long summer hibernation comes to an end, and I resume my daily position outside of Butler with the rest of my flock. Every day I hope for a sudden plunge in temperatures, yet it is still 70 degrees outside.

Gone are the days that I complained about being pelted with gin and tonics in the back booth of 1020, or about the pitiful waits outside Mel’s in subzero terrains. Instead, I woke up one morning and with a coating of white powder on my waterproof exterior, and I thought, could it be? The beautiful feeling of snow that I longed for? I soon realized my excitement was premature, and it was just a thin layer of cocaine that had been the result of my owner’s tryst with an international student.

What else is the Goose thinking?

Oct

12

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Coming in at number 3, Ref is the best way to make sure your breakdown resembles the Ivy League caliber you constantly strive for

We’ve all been there at one time or another: It’s your ninth hour in Butler, you have three midterms this week and you just feel the overall need to let your stress out in the form of light tears and subtle screams. As far as coping mechanisms go, it’s one of the healthier ones, so Bwog Staff Writer Megan Wylie left her cozy cubby on the 4th floor in search of the best location in times of crisis. 

7. 5th Floor Reading Rooms

The glass doors and lack of personal space in these rooms make this resemble a pitiful zoo. All anyone needs to do is walk out of the elevator and you’re met with awkward eye contact from a girl in your NSOP group three years ago. 2/10

6. The Stacks

Although the stacks would be the obvious place to hide out from your TA returning from a smoke break outside, don’t be so easily fooled. Yes, it’s quiet; yes, it’s secluded; yes it’s dark, but it’s only a matter of time before the solitary confinement of Stacks level 8 gets to you and you start hallucinating said TA winking at you from the next bookshelf over. 3.5/10

5. Islamic Studies Room/East Asian Studies Room/Graduate Reading Rooms

While the nice views and cozy nature provide a guise of a safe place to cry, it has its limits.  First, the smallness works against you and your voice will amplify, leading to a lot of confused faces glaring at you when you scream “I should have gone to Cornell!” Second, the fact that it closes at 11 is a major drawback—Everyone knows Butler breakdowns are to be conducted between the hours of 1AM and 4 AM. 5/10

4.  209

209 is like the classic Columbia student: a little studious, a little testy and a little fun. As far as study spots go, it’s a pretty good one–as long as you don’t sneeze too loudly. In times of crisis, however, 209 is too public for my liking. Plus, you risk a significantly awkward interaction if you’re sitting at a two-person table.  6.5/10

3. Ref/301

Ref can go either way. The chandeliers and tall ceilings can be scholastically daunting, and the sound of silence with a touch of whispered gossip is enough to break those of us on our sixth cup of copy in the midst of a thesis induced psychosis. Due to its size, you’re safe to run to the stairway if you’re near the entrance, but if you’re in one of the back rows, you better hope you’re not walking down the aisle of your social funeral. 7/10

2. ButCaf

I don’t know how anybody can do anything but a group project in ButCaf, but who am I to judge. The cafeteria-esque vibe provides an impressive amount of noise muffling, and the access to a giant cookie is unparalleled. All in all, it’s a solidly mediocre place for a 3 am cry and subsequent chocolate binge. 8/10

1. 403

A bastion of hope in the endless black hole that is Butler Library. The cubbies are an anti-social studier’s dream and provide ample privacy for when you need to take a recovery break to watch Law & Order: SVU. The fourth floor is like the beautiful love child of Ref and the 6th Floor Reading rooms, creating a pristine melange of sociality, quiet, and calmness. 10/10

Honorary Mentions:

Avery:

Honestly, it goes without saying, but unless you want forty hipsters with wire-rimmed glasses shooting you death glares from behind their copy of The Brothers Karamazov. -0.5/10

Staircase:

Not technically a library room per se, but the staircases should be valued no less as a prime breakdown getaway. The dim lighting, accessibility, and sound isolation is a true blessing. I will admit it’s not the comfiest, but it’s truly the best if you need a quick recovery scream in between assignments.  14/10

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